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Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Project Runway—It’s Over, Bitches!

posted by on October 18 at 23:13 PM

Michael’s collection? Hated it. Talk about crash and burn.

Laura’s collection? It was wonderful—if she were designing costumes for a production of On The 20th Century. And as Slog regular Mark Mitchell pointed out at Spitfire—which was a bit of a clusterfuck, no fault of the bar’s—Laura had a lot of nerve accusing Jeffrey of having outside help with his collection. All that beading? Beading takes time—shitloads of time. There must have been a sweatshop at the back of that gifuckingnormous apartment she lives in. Did she put her kids to work? Did she violate any child labor laws? Get Tim Gunn on it STAT!

Uli’s collection? Still beaches, but I loved it. And I loved her—particularly after hearing her story about growing up in East Germany. I spent some time in the drab ol’ DDR, and I will always have a soft spot for folks who endured that gray totalitarian nightmare. I was rooting for Uli at the end, cocktail in hand, I may have let my affection for her get the better of me.

Jeffrey’s collection? Rock and roll—but with money and class. Spoiler alert: Jeffrey deserved his win. It almost makes up for Chloe’s inexcusible first-place showing last season. He was such a dick, however, that I had a hard time getting past that and rooting for him. But since when do fashion designers—or advice columnists, for that matter—have to be nice to succeed? Congrats, Jeffrey, you big dickwad. We expect great things from you. First order of business: Get that fucking neck tattoo removed before your double chin settles into a waddle and it goes all origami on your ass.

Finally, it was nice to Daniel V. sitting in the front row. He’s still dreamy—and he should have won last season’s competition. Oh, and the clusterfuck at Spitfire? They had a live feed—so anyone who showed up early saw the East Coast airing at 7, the Central airing at 8, the Mountain airing at 9, and finally the West Coast airing at 10. If you arrived at ten minutes to ten, er, um, well, then you caught the last few minutes of the show. Talk about spoilers. Still, the drink specials were great, the bartenders were hot, and the hairdos were amazing. Thanks to Spitfire, Vain, and everyone who braved the first of what will be many shitty, shitty cold & wet fall/winter/spring days.

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Uli really had a strong collection, and it was far more varied than the bits shown last week led me to expect it would be. I could have lived with a win for her, and I'm glad she came in second.

Laura's collection was pretty, and a few pieces (especially the lace mini with ostrich feathers and the halter mini with beaded fringe) were truly gorgeous, but ultimately it was all too Oscar de la Renta to deserve a win.

Jeffrey deserved it. His Gaultier and Vivienne Westwood influences were apparent, but you still couldn't have mistaken it for anyone's work but his. The translucent fabrics overlaying the prints were so nicely handled (not easy), and the gray leather pants made me want to wear the fuck out of them. (Despite the fact that leather pants and my lack of an ass are not a good combination. Ever. But if a design makes you think something could work even though your ass is concave, you know it's good.)

Michael. Well, at least Michael has his burgeoning relationship with Brandy. They can sit up in her room and talk about Urban Safaris until Kimora Lee Simmons calls him in to work for Baby Phat. He just blew it. Did you notice how high the pockets were on the back of those shorts? Funky. And not in the good way.

As for Jeffrey being a dickwad, I just don't see it. To me he's just opinionated. A little obnoxious, sure, but better him than Laura, with that smug uptight smile and the diamonds and the Louis Vuitton hardcases for every little thing (full disclosure -- I am fucking jealous). I gagged when she claimed last week that she never had $100,000 to spend on a collection. Her luggage alone cost almost that, and I suspect that the choker she was wearing in tonight's episode wasn't paste. Come on, if Albert Einstein didn't have the hundred thou in their checking account, he could get it by tomorrow.

Sorry for the diatribe. I probably shouldn't Slog after 4 glasses of champagne.

I am now leaving the runway.

Posted by Mark Mitchell | October 19, 2006 12:38 AM

Hey Michael? Jessica Simpson called, and she wants her clothes back.

Posted by Kurt B. Reighley | October 19, 2006 12:48 AM

I love Project Runway.
Art through time constraints-tasty.

The party that you supposedly threw was appaling.
Spitfire was a mess. Horrid service. The "host" dan didn't show up until after nine, when the clueless staff had already started showing the last episode.
Way to half-ass it. You ruined a great season. Next Year I'll be hosting a closing party. And I will actually put some time and thought into it, you arrogant bastards.

Posted by cheesepants | October 19, 2006 1:25 AM

gosh, cheesepants, you sound like someone who would be GREAT at a party!

i was very excited that jeffrey won. i was pleasently surprised by uli's stuff, but jeffrey's work was great. i still think that jay was the best designer they've had, but jeffrey is a close second. he did a great job, and his signature dress from the show is amazing. if i were female, i'd save money like hell to try to get that dress.

Posted by konstantconsumer | October 19, 2006 6:40 AM

I thought Jeffrey's final piece was the worst! It would not look good on a woman who actually has hips. But the rest was pretty good.
I was convinced Laura or Uli would win based on the INC mentorship. I can only imagine what kind of crazy things Jeffrey will try to produce for Macys. Hee!

Posted by Meredith | October 19, 2006 6:47 AM

from what i understand, the past winners have turned down the stuff they are suppose to win, so that they can do whatever they want. i would assume that, since jeffrey already has a line, and wouldn't fit in with INC at all, he will just use the win as a way to become more popular, and expand his line.

Posted by konstantconsumer | October 19, 2006 7:30 AM

Oh Michael... how the mighty have fallen.

But hey, rap video hoochies need cloths too, right?

Posted by Colin | October 19, 2006 8:06 AM

I was rooting for Uli or Jeffery for sure after seeing the runway show.

It was funny to arrive at the Spitfire and some people said they already knew who won! I kept telling people to be quiet! I don't wanna know! Thank god the show started up at 9.

Thanks to the Stranger for putting it together, it was fun. Now is it time for Season 4 yet?

Posted by Nick | October 19, 2006 8:25 AM

I had a great time at the party, although I thought that Dan or another Stranger staff memeber would have said a few words, or worked the crowd a bit more. I lost my bet that Michael would win (before seeing the collections), then AGAIN when I thought Uli would win (after seeing the collections) Oh well, a few "Tim's Gun" later I didnt care.....

Posted by Monique | October 19, 2006 8:43 AM

I thought Jeffrey's collection was hideous. Uli should totally have won. Not ony was her collection gorgeous, it was more complete, showed a fuller range, and even the runway action was better, like when her model removed the dress to reveal the bikini. The people watching at my house were squealing with joy on that one. I will admit that I hate Jeffrey though, and that may color my impressions.

As for Laura, I look forward to seeing her designs at Ann Tyler.

Posted by Gitai | October 19, 2006 8:46 AM

I thought Jeffrey's collection was hideous. Uli should totally have won. Not ony was her collection gorgeous, it was more complete, showed a fuller range, and even the runway action was better, like when her model removed the dress to reveal the bikini. The people watching at my house were squealing with joy on that one. I will admit that I hate Jeffrey though, and that may color my impressions.

As for Laura, I look forward to seeing her designs at Ann Tyler.

Posted by Gitai | October 19, 2006 8:46 AM

Also Mark Mitchell! You're commentary is witty as always! Love it!

Auf Wiedersehen!

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Posted by Susan | October 19, 2006 9:12 AM

I guarantee out of all the designers Uli will make the most money and have the longest career.

Posted by ULI RULES | October 19, 2006 9:27 AM

All Michael had to do to win was NOT screw up royally. He pulled a Vosovic -- won the whole season, then botched the final collection so badly the judges couldn't give him the title. Meanwhile, Jeffrey left his comfort zone just enough to stroke the judges' egos. I was certain Uli would win, and we whooped and hollered when J pulled it off. Kudos to tatneck!

Posted by the chimpanzee | October 19, 2006 9:29 AM

What a whacky night. We got there about 10 to 10:00 and then saw the ending... crazy. But we had fun anyway, the place was packed, were they all there for Runway? Crazy.

I dislike Jeffrey but liked his collection the best. I also loved Laura's collection but could see why she didn't win. Uli was fine, Michael who really was the front runner going into it sucked. Good thing he got the $10,000 check. They will all go on to do great things if they work hard at it, they have the talent.

Viva la Runway! Thanks to Dan and The Stranger for putting on a fun night.

Posted by Suz | October 19, 2006 9:39 AM

I thought Uli's collection was art. It was beautiful, although I may also have been completely wrapped up in the beautiful, light, exquisite music they played during her runway show. Does anyone know what that music was? The other designers didn't have the benefit of great music, and Laura was the only one with a voice-over during her run, which didn't help.

I admire Laura for staying true to her style, standards, and sophistication.

Posted by SB | October 19, 2006 9:45 AM

What a bummer. Jeffrey is lame -- like a million other aging "punk rock" tragedies wandering around LA. It shows how un-hip the judges are that they actually thought his stuff was "edgy" or whatever.

Posted by cite | October 19, 2006 10:13 AM

So sad that Michael crashed and burned so spectacularly. A friend I was watching christened his collection 'ho on the go' which pretty much sums it up perfectly.

I liked Jeffrey's collection better than I expected to, but thought Uli's should win. That bikini was gorgeous, and the last dress, while definitely an Uli dress, was incredibly beautiful.

I'm kind of sad Nazri didn't win on the model end, but she is gorgeous and will undoubtedly succeed anyway.

Posted by Megan | October 19, 2006 8:50 PM

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