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Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Jane Magazine Pimps Desperate Virgin

Posted by on August 22 at 14:43 PM


According to the cover text, Sarah is a “funny, gorgeous” 29-year-old who “wants to lose her virginity by her 30th birthday in November.” That gives the guys just two months to sweep Sarah off her (literal and metaphorical) feet.

A few observations:

1. Eww. Has the post-feminist pendulum swung clear around, to the point that it’s OK to whore yourself out via national fashion mag as long as you’re “sex-positive” about it?

2. I have some doubts about Sarah’s “prospects.” (Their answers to Jane’s “interview” questions are pretty laughable, although I wouldn’t have much to say to questions like “What are [sic] your favorite pair of shoes?” and “What’s your favorite food and why?” either). Jane calls them “pure eye candy.” Judge for yourself.

Would you choose:

Daniel, who describes himself as “fucking brilliant” in bed and says he “would want to be closer to Sarah than I was to the woman who deflowered me”?

David, who says he’d offer Sarah “candles and bubble bath” for her first time (sounds hazardous!) and whose favorite books are “sci-fi and computer books”?

Mike, who says he’d “prepare a comfortable room” for Sarah’s “deflowering”, and “light candles, burn incense, soft lights, and sink into the aura of love”?

Or Adam, a trainer and raw-foodist who claims to “care more about Sarah than just getting laid”?

In case you’re feeling too sorry for Sarah after viewing her “prospects,” I invite you read this excerpt from her blog, updated daily on Jane’s web site:

Hey everyone! So let me just get you up to date on what’s been happening. I have a date tonight with this guy, and I kid you not, his name is Lucky! Talk about fortuitous!!! What a great way to start my little project off! So I will dish all about my “Lucky” date in my blog to be posted tomorrow morning. I also have ANOTHER date on Thursday and again I will give you all the detes in Friday’s blogs. So check in. Also, feel free to ask me any questions or make any comments in the forum. I picked Jane magazine because of it’s readers and content, so anything you can contribute would be sooooo greatly appreciated!!! I am a bit nervous about tonight’s date as I haven’t been on a date “date” in almost a year! I will also be taking some pics of my adventures so check back for those highlights! Alright, I have my favorite white jeans, a funky tank top, and gold espadrilles at the ready! I am sooooo ready for my “Lucky” adventure!

Hmm. Do you think the reason Sarah hasn’t “been on a date ‘date’” in a year might because, emotionally, she’s still 13?

And also, isn’t Jane supposed to be the “thinking” twentysomething woman’s magazine? If so: No longer.

“Take control of Sarah’s love life and vote for her next date” yourself—or nominate a friend!—here.

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Call me cynical, but I don't think that acting 13 emotionally would keep her from getting dates. No, I blame it on that sticky "o" on her keyboard -- guys don't like women who spill Diet Coke on computer equipment.

At least she's not Lisa Eimahoer Loeb.


Since so many guys are taking the "candlelight and romantic music" approach, I wonder if I can sneak in under the radar with the ol' "Cleveland Steamer followed by a furious fisting" approach?

I read it on a Sassy Magazine Page/ If you make a girl a mix-up tape/ She will know that you dig her/ She will know/ That you're/ in/love/with/her

—From "Supernatural Dope Fiend," Track 1 on Andromeda Star Strain's I Got the Blues

Jane stopped being the "thinking twentysomething woman's" magazine when Jane Pratt (its namesake) left it completely about a year ago. The intelligent articles declined sharply and this crap increased accordingly. Bust is what Jane wishes it was.

first of all, barf.
second, the only virgins in this contest are the guys particpating.
third, this girl should be ashamed of herself behaving in this manner. auctioning off your virginity isn't "progressive" it's just sad.

Finally, if I had to pick, it would this be guy:

If i HAD to pick.

That's no virgin, that's Anne Heche.

I agree, Bust is the new Jane. Jane was about the only such mag I could stomach leafing thru at the barbershop (Playboy has definitely had it's day).

Why would someone do this? I would really like to know. Is it that difficult for a relatively fit and attractive woman to find someone to have sex with?

She may be a sex virgin, but she's an attention whore.

Hands off, Sarah (and Snacky)! I want Dustin for myself.

She might want to brush her teeth and floss, plus lay off the garlic and spicy food. That always helps.

Wait for it! Wait for it!.....

Male oppression is everywhere in the media. Thank you Eric for helping us to fight the exploitation of women. My heart aches for this poor woman who is forced to be on the cover of a magazine because of her virginity.

why is virginity so precious? just pound it out and get it over with.

but yeah, dustin sure is a hawtie.

For my money, Cap'n'Jazz takes the prize for best Sassy reference in song ("Planet Shhh"), but I like my lyrics pretty oblique...

My girlfriend buys Jane once in a while, always bemoaning the vapid shits on the cover (Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, etc) and the worsening content within, and then she keeps buying it once in a while. I can't remember the last time she came home with a copy of Bust or Bitch. I think there's a certain train-wreck attraction at work.

Of course, people can buy what they want in the capitalist marketplace, but Jane has gone from being an occasional critic of women's prescribed role in that marketplace to being basically another voice telling them to buy shoes so they can get dates. Too bad.

Do you guys remember Rosie Reid, a girl from the United Kingdom who auctioned off her virginity to avoid student debt?

This is so fucking lame; I can hardly deal. This chick is a fucking idiot. It would be better if she was making some cash off this deal. Maybe she is.

Woah. She is almost as hot as that "runaway bride" from GA. She was also a "virgin."

I wonder if she is a "technical" virgin?


Shit, I'm an asshole and a social ingrate, and even I lost my virginity way before now. I'm surprised she held off for this long if she wanted it that much.

<a href=>erosive esophagitis</a> all about

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