That is the most hilarious satire site I've seen in a while. What, you mean that's not satire?!

It's sad how many fools actually believe in this. Well, every first few years of the millenium or century are filled with people who don't understand reality.

Hope it's over soon.

I love how the report states "Satanism: Satanism is flourishing in Russia."

Does this qualify as orange level or red?

So, for planning purposes, how many days until the trumpet blows?

what if the rapture has came and went and where we live now is hell? wouldn't that just figure?

Record high: 182 in 09/01.
Record low: 57 in 12/93.

Do they offer any explanation why didn't the rapture happen at 182? Or why the rapture was so much less likely when Democrats controlled the White House and Congress?

Seems like if they voted for Democrats they'd have more time to get the rest of us saved.

You're trying to use logic with illogical people.

God, hurry the hell up and take these freaks off of the planet!!!

Gawd, i am going to feel like such a boner when this actually happens and all the fundies laugh at me and say Told you so!

If the rapture comes after we've colonized space will it affect the outlying settlements in our galaxy, or just the earth?

I'm sooooooo glad the Rapture's almost here! I'm kinda getting sick of paying $3.25 for a gallon of gas. I wonder what fuel prices are like in Heaven...

Hate to break it to 'em, but I think the Rapture already happened. They took like Mother Theresa and some guy in Iowa. They were the only truly righteous ones.

If they're all so convinced of all this millenialist armageddonist Rapture shit, why don't they give me the PIN numbers for their ATM cards, hand over the keys to their houses, and go live as anchorites in the desert somewhere until the Lord comes to take them home? What do they need all that shit for?

My own personal version of the rapture is that Jesus/Allah/whatever comes back as a particularly bitchy queen who tells us all what a bunch of miserable failures we are, preferably while holding a cocktail in one hand and a ciggie in the other, and preempting a football game.

After he tells us that we blew our chance for at least another two milleniumin (in a very detailed, picky way that touches on all the failings of religion) he then ascends to heaven in a fabulously campy way, and when we go back to fighting, we find out nobody's weapons work, or they've all be converted into nerf balls or something tree-huggy like that.

Hey, it's as plausible as any other rapture story.

IT'S REALLY COMING THIS TIME!... TAKE COVER!... IT'S TOTALLY COMING! RIGHT NOW!.... JUST YOU WAIT....