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Monday, August 21, 2006

Diary of a high quality mid-life crisis

Posted by on August 21 at 17:14 PM

A Seattlite named Doug just called in to inform us that he is officially leaving Seattle and driving his motorcycle down to Tierra del Fuego, perhaps never to return. Several months ago, the vice president of the pharmaceutical company where he worked left Doug a typically long-winded voicemail message, which he was supposed forward to a co-worker. Doug forwarded the message with his own scathing rant attached… and then discovered he had accidentally replied to the message, instead of forwarding it.

This is what, according to Doug, his VP heard:

This fucking guy can go on forever without saying a goddamn fucking thing. This goddamn voicemail is going to take you fifteen minutes to listen to. After the first five minutes, you’re going to want to slit your wrists! The second five minutes, you’ll want to stab yourself in the fucking forehead! And the third five minutes, you’re going to have to stab your eyes with fucking sticks just to stay awake long enough to listen to the FIVE SECONDS of information contained somewhere in this goddamn voicemail!!!

So Doug is a little crazy, yes. He says it had been a long week. In any case, shortly thereafter he quit his job, sold his house, bought a motorcycle (“this is the first time I’ll be riding one legally,” he says) and plans to escape to South America, his bags alledgedly packed with only “a digital camera, a laptop and underwear.”

Yes, Doug will be making extensive digital documentation of his trip from Seattle to South America. He’s hoping to write a “coffee-table-travel-adventure book” about it. His website is kind of small and weird right now, but who knows? He might even make it past Tijuana. All persons currently entrenched in Office Space-style jobs might want to take note.

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His frigging website is almost completely in Comic Sans. Gah. Thanks a lot, now I have to wash out my eyes with bleach.

Fnarf, you're probably already aware of this "movement", but you still might benefit from a dose of this.

I blame Charles Mudede for being such a downer, personally. Good thing he didn't drive this guy to suicide yet, given his posts over the last few days.

I know it violates local customs to celebrate someone leaving Seattle but fuck it. Live the dream,Man.

I have seen them before, as well as this:

yep, and once he's conquered the finer art of website design, perhaps he'll figure out how to better communicate with pictures... if these are any indication.

Can we start the betting pool now? Over/under on Doug making it Tierra del Fuego? Over/under on Doug being alive in a week?

I bet he lives, so long as he doesn't read any SLOG posts from Charles. Not sure about the bike making it.

Go for it, dude!

Tires, Doug! Tires! Make sure
you know where you can buy them
on this trip.

Secure your battery, too. They have
a tendency to disappear off bikes
with alarming frequency.

Bon Voyage!


It may have been worth it had Doug's reply been witty.
Wells, I want odds that he crawls back to Seattle and begs for his job back.

Re: pool; i'm not sure when it was but recently i heard a story on NPR (BBC World Service) about a guy who did something similar. I'm not sure if it was in south america or africa, but he was being interviewed and he talked about how he would go from country to country and stuff. he had his bike stolen a few times and would sometimes have run-ins with border patrols, but he made it through in one piece.

anyone else happen to catch that one?

Boxers or briefs?

I've worked with people like Doug's boss, can't stand them either, and if nothing else good comes of this, I hope that Doug's boss, amidst his likely anger, thinks for a spell about how effective of a communicator he REALLY is.

Wish I could affford to do this. Go, Doug!!!

I hate my job as much as the next guy, but I ain't goin to no south america. That's what weed is for.

?Doug, hablas espanol?

Urban Mexico: Pay to park, it's cheap. Your bike: Far less likely to get stolen. Panama: Manuel who?
Columbia: Stay to the South. Venezuela: Skip.

is Doug reading this?

I hope so. Doug, DOUG! We're living through you, man. Hurry up and don't let us down.

<a href=>erosive esophagitis</a> all about

I've heard of this guy. He's pretty much a legend. I'm still not sure if he really exists. Looking forward to a book.

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