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Sorry Scientologists! Madonna has snagged Lindsay Lohan, and has indoctrinated her into the Kabbalah religion. And to celebrate, Lindsay now has a new Kabbalah name, which is “Rose.” So, no more “Lindsay,” it’s “Rose,” thankyouverymuch. (Sidenote: Her Kabbalah name for “Fire Crotch” is now “Fire Bush.” GET IT?? Moses? Burning Bush? Jewish things?? Huh?? Ahhhhh… forget it.)
Better Kabbalah than drugs.
You mean, "do they eat shit"? "Kabbalah" isn't a religion; it isn't even Kabbalah. It's a kook in LA with a good line of patter and a plan for living forever. It's about as closely related to Judaism as cocaine is. Lindsey's going to be great at it.
Might as well rename her. At this point, she looks like a completely different human being than she did 3 years ago.
(with apologies to Robert Herrick, 1591-1674:)
UPON A VIRGIN KISSING A ROSE
'Twas but a single Rose,
Till you on it did breathe;
But since, methinks, it shows
Not so much Rose as wreath.
‘Twas but a single Rose,
Till you on it did whack;
But since, methinks, it shows
Not so much Rose as rack.
Take thou my blessing thus, and go,
And tell her this,--but do not so!--
Lest a handsome anger fly
Like a lightning from her eye,
And burn thee up, as well as I!
It is not Judasism or its Kabbalah, but it is 100x better than Scientology.
It is not Judasism or its Kabbalah, but it is 100x better than Scientology.
So is the dump I took this morning.
Why does 20-year-old Lindsey Lohan look like a 37-year-old Liz Taylor? What's she going to look like when she's 37? I suppose it depends on whether she stays out of the sun or not. She's already a tad leathery.
But unlike her peers in the teen club-vomiting circuit, she's been in a Robert Altman movie, so that's something I guess.
What she looks like is a character in a video game. There isn't a single pixel in that shot that hasn't been redone.
I didn't mean just this picture -- she doesn't look like anything here. I mean EVERY picture. 37 years old, maybe 43 if she's had a hard night. And leathery, like shoes or wallet.
Tone´s right! She looks like she's taken out of a fucking videogame ffs. And yes she looks like a 50 year old crackhoe. I can't believe that she's only 20 years old.
You people are fucking crazy...
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