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Tuesday, June 13, 2006

The Logical Conclusion

Posted by on June 13 at 17:32 PM

Of Christian fanatics’ opposition to contraception: The “rhythm method” of birth control (in which a couple abstains from sex during the period each month when the woman is most fertile) leads to “massive embryonic death.” Just like birth control, and IUDs, and breastfeeding…


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I'm sorry, that is incorrect. Rythm method kills more than some of the other methods you mentioned.

But, good catch about breastfeeding - many people don't seem to realize that if someone breastfeeds children for a number of years, they are much less likely to get pregnant at that time. For most of human history, children were breastfed anywhere from 3 to 5 years of age, and the linkage permitted the mothers to maintain some control over how many children she had to support.

All contraception is murder, because the woman offers nothing to the process of conception and childbirth besides a warm place for the all-powerful sperm to grow into a human.

That's where the Catholic anti-contraception belief comes from. The state of the science in 1870 or whenever the rule against contraception was instituted (there was none before then) recognized no "embryos" or "zygotes" or "eggs" or whatever the hell. The male sperm is sufficient unto itself. So killing a sperm is tantamount to murder.

The current kook opposition to contraception is not based on anything at all besides a desperation to oppose the sexual impulse, full stop. They have picked up on this Catholic prohibition, ironically since most fundamentalist Protestants regard Catholicism as equivalent to Satanism, without understanding or much caring about what it means.

DAD:
There are Jews in the world.
There are Buddhists.
There are Hindus and Mormons, and then
There are those that follow Mohammed, but I've never been one of them.

I'm a Roman Catholic,
And have been since before I was born,
And the one thing they say about Catholics is:
They'll take you as soon as you're warm.

You don't have to be a six-footer.
You don't have to have a great brain.
You don't have to have any clothes on. You're A Catholic the moment Dad came,

Because -

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

CHILDREN:
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

GIRL:
Let the heathen spill theirs
On the dusty ground.
God shall make them pay for
Each sperm that can't be found.

CHILDREN:
Every sperm is wanted.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.

MUM:
Hindu, Taoist, Mormon,
Spill theirs just anywhere,
But God loves those who treat their
Semen with more care.

MEN:
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.

WOMEN:
If a sperm is wasted,...

CHILDREN:
...God get quite irate.

PRIEST:
Every sperm is sacred.

BRIDE and GROOM:
Every sperm is good.

NANNIES:
Every sperm is needed...

CARDINALS:
...In your neighbourhood!

CHILDREN:
Every sperm is useful.
Every sperm is fine.

FUNERAL CORTEGE:
God needs everybody's.

MOURNER #1:
Mine!

MOURNER #2:
And mine!

CORPSE:
And mine!

NUN:
Let the Pagan spill theirs
O'er mountain, hill, and plain.

HOLY STATUES:
God shall strike them down for
Each sperm that's spilt in vain.

EVERYONE:
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite iraaaaaate!

Ah, yes, and so spake Monty Python!

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