Slog - The Stranger's Blog

Line Out

The Music Blog

« Happy to Pander | Video Game: The gateway drug »

Thursday, June 8, 2006

Keeping Anderson Cooper Honest

Posted by on June 8 at 14:44 PM

So I was reading the Stranger on my lunch break—as I do every week, because I miss you guys (also, because I still have a geeky obsession with the neighborhoods beat)—and I noticed the full-page ad on page 19 touting a visit by CNN’s Anderson Cooper.

Cooper will be “On Location in Seattle” on Friday, June 16.

Live from Seattle, Anderson Cooper “Keeping Them Honest” on local issues — the fertility drug black market, the worldwide Starbucks’ phenomenon and why the Wapato Jail facility remains empty.

Now, I don’t claim to speak for all you Cooper fans in Seattle, but I do wonder if you’ll be at all interested in the “local” Wapato Jail issue, seeing as how that empty county jail is… down here in Portland.


CommentsRSS icon

Seattle has a black market fertility drug problem? Did I miss something, how did that slip by the local media and make it all the way to CNN? Does it concern teenages getting high with it? How fucked do you get on fertility drugs? Somehow druggie teens must be involved. I thought meth was the drug war focus? Are the terriorist behind the 'black market fertility' drug ring? But now it all makes sense... that is why that dude on pike asked if I was looking for clomid... russian mafia maybe? So many questions...

I coulda sworn this note was posted by that Humphrey guy a few minutes ago but now it's got a different by line. What up wit dat?

Someone at Slog HQ just waved a magic wand so I could post it myself, that's what's up wit dat.

I saw that too. I mean, I haven't heard of any of those issues, so WTF? And besides, Starbucks? Everyone I know in Seattle is Free Trade Organic Shadegrown Espresso or Chai, Starbucks is so last century ...

People should be on a Cooper lookout, and report any sightings at Vanderbilt clubs.

Ahem, it's not exactly like anyone with half a brain would expect CNN to actually KNOW anything about real "local" issues. More like these are: A. what some Beltway assignment editor THINKS are local issues, because they read about them in the NY Times or WA Post or whatever; B. they're pseudo-issues that don't really have anything to do with us "locals", but are designed to have some sort of resonance with the East Coast urbanites who look to CNN to define issues for them.

You know, the sort of people whose image of Seattle is that we get 350 days of rain every year; that we all wear $500 REI/Eddie Bauer/North Face Gor-Tex parkas; that we have one hand permanently wrapped around a double-tall-soy-mochaccino, while the other grasps a cellphone that we use every three minutes to download NYSE updates on how our MSFT stock is doing.

But, I could be wrong about that...

Coop's a wankstain (didja know he's Gloria Vanderbilt's son?) who garnered a huge amount of undeserved cred during Katrina and has been promoted via the Peter Principle to a top anchor job.

His old job was like 24/7 Katrina -- his mission was to stand outside in gale force winds in an oilskin parka and demonstrate CNN's commitment to ... standing outside in a gale force wind in an oilskin parka, I guess. He just got lucky with Katrina, and everybody went all gaga on how "courageous" and "penetrating" he was. He's not either of those things; he's a wank stain.

It's extremely unlikely that he's even heard of Seattle, even after having been here and "read" the word on numerous prompters and sheets of paper.

I would appreciate a decision from Ms. Amy Kate Horn on whether "wankstain" is one word or two.

Who cares about "issues"? He's dreamy...sigh...

well, I do make my own double-tall soy lattes, but I use organic fair trade espresso beans (usually on sale at PCC) and grind the beans at home, and save a bunch that way.

ditched the cell phone, though.

Wankstain: one word. It's British, from "wanker." Thanks for bringing it to my attention.

"He just got lucky with Katrina, and everybody went all gaga on how "courageous" and "penetrating" he was."

I wouldn't mind doing some penetrating on Anderson, if you know what I mean.

what about how locals will respond to his ipod playlist featured in the ever relevant Rolling Stone?

Anderson Cooper's On-The-Road Playlist
The Clash "This Is Radio Clash"
Scissor Sisters "Comfortably Numb"
Johnny Cash "Folsom Prison Blues"
Radiohead "Karma Police"
Sugar "Neele Hits E"
Ike & Tina Turner "Proud Mary"
Nouvelle Vague "Love Will Tear Us Apart"
Interpol "Slow Hands"
Arcade Fire "Wake Up"
Arctic Monkeys "I Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor"
Mary J. Blige "No More Drama"
Devo "Freedom Of Choice"
Elvis Costello "Pump It Up"
The Hives "Hate To Say I Told You So"
Abbey Lincoln "Nature Boy"

My parka was only $100 at the REI garage sale.

I get my parkas on sale or at craiglist.

As to the playlist - it's ok, kind of old school, could use some recent music tho.

That playlist looks suspiciously diverse, like a publicist put it together for him.

Suspiciously diverse and suspiciously hip. And my playlist for road travel would be more than 15 songs.

incest father and daughter with mother and son!

Comments Closed

In order to combat spam, we are no longer accepting comments on this post (or any post more than 45 days old).