Arts Lord Love a Freykis
Dear citizens of the Slog:
Perhaps some of you recall the saga of Daniel Freykis, the furious fellow with whom I first became acquainted on April 12, when he sent me the following email (sic throughout):
Hey man, mu brother just sent me a link to your goddamn fish rapper…wow what a bunch of bullshit do you guys all eat each others ashole in that town to??? What in the FUCK man! He said “Dude you won’t believe how gay this town is!” sure enough you sound like a frickin’ fruit parade or something? Suck dick much???? Man you fags are something else but I supose it’s all Bush’s fault huh you aids infected dick bag? Christians have fuckin had it with your shit celean up your street and close down you fag clubs and then get back in the closet oh I guess you’ll be in a cofin soon enough with aids. Faggot. I CANNOT BELIVE my brother moved to such a fag town oh well he makes more money than YOU (guranteed!) so he’ll pay more taxes and maybe just habe all your pussy ass places where you shit on each other closed down do you think aids is just a coincidece? GOD FUCKING HATES YOU MAN!!!!!!! Fucking fags my brother is right it’s time to send all of you to a island and then nuke the fuckin island! GO live in France pussy you faggots!!!!
I immediately shared Freykis’ missive with the masses via the Slog. Naturally, “Go live in France pussy you faggots!” caught on like wildfire, with Freykis’ signature phrase quickly finding its way onto T-shirts and buttons.
Then all hell broke loose. Daniel Freykis accused me of slander (um, can you slander someone with their own words?) and of launching a hate campaign against him. He eventually got around to issuing threats. Eventually the hubbub died down.
Until today. This morning brought another Freykis emailnot from Daniel, but from his older brother Richard:
I want you to understand now what your campaign of terror against my brother Danny has wrought. In the past month thatnks to your ORGANIZED directives there have been numerous credit card frauds which used my brother’s email adress as the recipient. He has been contacted three times by the police and has had to have interviews tro explain all of these outrages. A lot of fraud has been done and for what? To get back at my brother for just telling it like it is…
From here, Richard claims the damage wrought by “hate campaign” has required his poor brother to be hospitalized for “nerves,” then wraps up with a grade-A Freykis freakout:
He’s just a kid and you have probably wrecked him for some time and all because he won’t sit back while you ‘guys’ try to organize marriage for your pals which is sick. You motherfucker you better listen. If Danny doesn’t recover I am holding you most repsonsible for this disaster. Take that for it will. I have called the cops but I guess they are all fags too cos they didn’t want to “hear it”. But that will not stop me from justice… Fuck you and you motherfuckers had better have a good laugh now, as I’m sure your satanic will be.
Wow. I never meant to land Daniel Freykis in the hospital, but why look a gift horse in the mouth? At this rate, the Freykis brothers are quickly overtaking the Olsen Twins as the most horrifically entertaining siblings in America.
Make sure he doesn't wing you with his bible and turn you into a Unitarian!