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Tuesday, March 28, 2006


Posted by on March 28 at 15:21 PM

After spending two decades of my life trying to achieve immortality by a trick of words, it appears I will be immortalized by a mall, Tacoma Mall! From the News Tribune:

The owners of the Tacoma Mall must be thinking, “Charles Mudede, we’ll show him!”

Mudede is The Stranger scribe who sneered at our mall after the shooting in November. He called it “the ugliest mall in the Pacific Northwest.”

Is it a coincidence the mall announced a face-lift complete with an expanded upscale Nordstrom after Mudede’s fusillade?

Here’s a suggestion: When the new digs are dedicated, proclaim it Charles Mude-Day.

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I've always been partial to the ontological argument for the existence of the Tacoma Mall: that than which nothing uglier can be imagined.

Making fun of shootings has always been a reliable publicity tool for writers.

Why limit your risible writings to working class Tacoma - six people were shot but the real story is that there mall is ugly.

Surely the capital hill shootings would benefit from your humorous touch?

Perhaps - though those hippies got shot, their organic market smells like tofu farts. Why not have both an upper middle class organic foodstore, and a working class mall named in your honor?

The ontological argument being - Hippie Tofu Farts: that than which nothing smellier can be imagined

Can't wait to smell your heavenly meat farts, HH.

I sure can.

Which smells worse, hippie farts, meat farts or TACOMA FARTS?

Tacoma is UGLY!

I just had to get in on a discourse involving meat farts and Tacoma.

I didn't realize this thread or the linked story made fun of shootings, or I never would have disgraced myself with a display of weak humor.

I thought the linked story was about the word "the," which appears 37 times throughout the article, as opposed to the word "shooting," which appears once.

The Tacoma Mall shootings article was written really funny. I hope they can write something funny about those capital hill shootings.

Charles' piece about the Tacoma shooting was not humorous. No fun was made.

Heavenly Meat Farts is SO going to be the name of my band.

Boo: that's so you.

Wendy: let me know when your first show is.

I walk to the Starbucks at center court and join a long line that's inching toward the cashier. Says the middle-aged woman ahead of me to her friend: "Yes, I got these glasses for $100. It was such a deal. It's so hard to find glasses that fit the shape of my face"...

I want to scream.

--Writes Mudede

Gee...with the dorky "security guy riding the Segway" photo leading and the detached tone the Tacoma shooting story read like wanna be a Alan Ball script. You know "aren't these tragic little working class Tacoma lives faintly amusing when viewed from our perch high on Capital Hill."

I searched for photos and biographies of the Tacoma Mall shooting victims but couldn't seem to locate them. Is there a paragraph hidden in the text somewhere describing what "kind and generous people" the shooting victims were, or how they "always had time to listen to their friends".

How about you visit Madison Market and record some dialogue there "...I paid fifteen bucks for this organic zucchini says the middle-aged woman ahead of me to her friend, I hope it goes well with the Pinot Noir I'm serving."

That would set about the right (non-humorous)tone for a story about the shooting of a Capital Hill grocery worker.

No fun was made in the Tacoma Mall shooting story, because the story sucked and shootings aren't funny. However it sure read like the intent was to poke fun. Plus, the story sucked and compared to some of the really good writing (like oh... Capital Hill Shootings) makes you look like you are showing a bias.

Dan and Charles,

Has it ever occurred to you that maybe you should apologize for the Tacoma Mall shooting story?

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