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Monday, February 6, 2006

Why Did the Seagulls Lose?

Posted by DAN SAVAGE on February 6 at 13:53 PM

Apparently it wasn’t the refs, the coaching, or time management. It was the gays. David Goldstein over at HorsesAss.com reports…

The anti-gay Westboro Baptist Church of Topeka, KS, announced plans to picket Seattle’s civic mourning in the wake of the Seahawk’s disappointing loss in Super Bowl XL.

The city’s championship dreams collapsed last night under the weight of sloppy play, questionable clock management, and drive-killing penalties, which the Rev. Fred Phelps blamed on “divine retribution” for recently passed gay civil rights legislation, declaring “The Lord works in mysterious ways… and sometimes through the zebras.”

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1

Dammit, if only God was on our side, we would've won the game. God sucks! I knew I shouldn't have made that $20 bet with Him. It just gave him a reason to intervene on the Steelers' behalf.

Posted by Lark Hawk | February 6, 2006 2:13 PM

2

In somewhat lighter news, there's an OpEd in Sunday's LA Times by Ray Bradbury arguing that the solution to LA's traffic woes is... [drumroll] ...a monorail.

Posted by DrewVSea | February 6, 2006 2:17 PM

3

Ya'd think God would have been a bit on our side, considering that Hawks' head coach Mike Holmgren's wife and daughter missed the game because they were on a medical mission trip in the Congo. But I suppose God cares more about social ideology than good works.

Posted by Seth | February 6, 2006 2:24 PM

4

SHIT, ol' Fred found out about the Lillet!

Posted by Fnarf | February 6, 2006 2:31 PM

5

Pat Robertson has heard from God that the Seahawks lost because Seattle is tolerant of gays.

Posted by Creek | February 6, 2006 3:43 PM

6

Do you think God ever gets tired of being Omnipotent and just lets a game go forward unmolested? You know, just for the hell of it?

Posted by Napoleon XIII | February 6, 2006 5:20 PM

7

Of course, Rick Santorum was rooting for the Steelers. That must have clinched it.

Posted by keshmeshi | February 6, 2006 10:21 PM

8

Perhaps the reason the Seahawks lost was because God was punishing Matt Hasslebeck and his dipshit, rightwing zealot of a wife for being co-chairs of the Families Northwest Annual Dinner and Auction this last November - the theme: Preserving Marriage for Kid's Sake. Um, yeah.

http://www.familiesnorthwest.org/fnw.aspx?pid=107

Posted by JB | February 7, 2006 1:26 AM

9

savage maintains a private k-9 unit over in port orchard

Posted by lord such and such | February 7, 2006 10:41 AM

10

Fred Phelps: attention whore.

Posted by Gomez | February 8, 2006 12:13 AM

11

Hi there! Your site is cool!

Posted by warren | April 13, 2006 6:41 AM

12

Hello and congratulations!

Posted by bill | April 14, 2006 4:32 AM

13

Very interesting and professional site! Good luck!

Posted by yolonda | April 17, 2006 3:31 AM

14

Hello! Very interesting and professional site.

Posted by sonia | April 19, 2006 10:07 PM

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