Slog - The Stranger's Blog

Line Out

The Music Blog

« New noise. | Rock Royalty »

Monday, February 6, 2006

Why Did the Seagulls Lose?

Posted by on February 6 at 13:53 PM

Apparently it wasn’t the refs, the coaching, or time management. It was the gays. David Goldstein over at reports…

The anti-gay Westboro Baptist Church of Topeka, KS, announced plans to picket Seattle’s civic mourning in the wake of the Seahawk’s disappointing loss in Super Bowl XL.

The city’s championship dreams collapsed last night under the weight of sloppy play, questionable clock management, and drive-killing penalties, which the Rev. Fred Phelps blamed on “divine retribution” for recently passed gay civil rights legislation, declaring “The Lord works in mysterious ways… and sometimes through the zebras.”

CommentsRSS icon

Dammit, if only God was on our side, we would've won the game. God sucks! I knew I shouldn't have made that $20 bet with Him. It just gave him a reason to intervene on the Steelers' behalf.

In somewhat lighter news, there's an OpEd in Sunday's LA Times by Ray Bradbury arguing that the solution to LA's traffic woes is... [drumroll] ...a monorail.

Ya'd think God would have been a bit on our side, considering that Hawks' head coach Mike Holmgren's wife and daughter missed the game because they were on a medical mission trip in the Congo. But I suppose God cares more about social ideology than good works.

SHIT, ol' Fred found out about the Lillet!

Pat Robertson has heard from God that the Seahawks lost because Seattle is tolerant of gays.

Do you think God ever gets tired of being Omnipotent and just lets a game go forward unmolested? You know, just for the hell of it?

Of course, Rick Santorum was rooting for the Steelers. That must have clinched it.

Perhaps the reason the Seahawks lost was because God was punishing Matt Hasslebeck and his dipshit, rightwing zealot of a wife for being co-chairs of the Families Northwest Annual Dinner and Auction this last November - the theme: Preserving Marriage for Kid's Sake. Um, yeah.

savage maintains a private k-9 unit over in port orchard

Fred Phelps: attention whore.

Hi there! Your site is cool!

Hello and congratulations!

Very interesting and professional site! Good luck!

Hello! Very interesting and professional site.

Comments Closed

In order to combat spam, we are no longer accepting comments on this post (or any post more than 45 days old).