Protest at our Office
All week long we wondered if the sensitivity police would show up at our offices to protest the Mohammed cartoons that ran in the Stranger, but it wound up being those crazy Catholic kids at C’YA who picketed our offices today. They were upset about a piece in the paper by Rev. Buddy, the Stranger’s resident spiritual advisor, that claimed credit for the groups lame-brained protest in Westlake Park last week.
At their first protest, C’YA called on devout area Catholics—all four of them—to boycott See’s Candies and Hallmark Cards. Why? Because they were “leaving the SAINT out of St. Valentine’s Day!ā€¯ We thought their protest, which we Slogged about last week, was hilarious, and we thought it would be even more hilarious to have our own Rev. Buddy pretend that it was all his idea. This, of course, didn’t sit well with the humor-challenged, orgasm-deprived kids at C’YA, so they announced an action on V-Day, at our offices.
When we heard they were actually outside we sent a photographer right down to get a pic—and it was a good thing the photographer rushed outside. Oh, they were such brave abstinence advocates! They must have been outside our offices for all of ten minutes. Maybe they were afraid we were going to come down and fuck them?
I wanted to talk with them while they were here—just talk—but I was downtown. In fact, I was in Westlake Center, so I decided to stop by See’s Candies, where they’re still leaving the “Saint” off “St. Valentine’s Day,” and see how they were doing. As you can see in the photo below, See’s was packed.
Look, C’YA, it’s not working. You’re not getting media coverage, no traction at all, and while Susan Paynter’s column in the PI last week sounded a lot like your website, if you Google “War on St. Valentine’s Day” you’ll see that you’re not the only folks in the country who had this idea. You were among the few who took the idea seriously—most, like Susan Paynter, only joked about fundies demanding that the “St.” be put back in “St. Valentine’s Day” the way they demanded that the Christ be put back in Christmas. But it’s not an original idea, and it’s not getting you anywhere. So why don’t you drop it?
At the very least you’re going to have to drop it until next year. Seeing as today is Valentine’s Day, the daily papers and the TV news folks aren’t going to cover your demo today or any other action you plan—not, at least, until next Valentine’s Day rolls around.
And by then, with any luck, you’ll all be over yourselves, over Catholicism, and over abstinence. And if each and everyone one of you is not getting any by next Valentine’s Day, drop by our offices again and I will send some staffers down to fuck your asses.
That "Be Mine" sign kills me every time.