Chow The Banana Bunker
posted by on November 11 at 9:51 AM
Slog tipper JL draws our attention to a particular item for sale at the Museum of Modern Art’s website.
“I was just looking for educational/less commercial gifts for my kid and felt like I was assaulted by this thing,” writes JL. The Banana Bunker is “For for Kids,” according to MOMA’s website, and was designed to “protect delicate fruit.” Says JL: “I find it freaky and weird that MOMA sells these dildo-shaped things and for some reason felt that I should let you know about it.”
I don’t share JL’s concerns. Phallic objects assault our children pretty much everywhere they go—tree trunks! tall buildings! parking meters! The innocent banana itself, once liberated from its bunker, is itself dildo-shaped. And the banana, as anyone that’s ever put one in a gym bag and them dumped books and a computer on top of it can attest, is a delicate fruit. So I don’t look at the “Banana Bunker” and see a dildo. But I have to admit that it reminded me of another kind of banana bunker:
That’s a CB 6000, a “male chastity device.” Straight guys blog about their experiences wearing CB 6000s here and here.
OMG, I have a padlock just like that!
I can't post the link because my stupid iPhone can't copy/paste, but this was Slogged on April 1st, 2007. I guess we've had a lot of newcomers since then, maybe they haven't seen it.
Jesus, Savage, proof your posts. This one is riddled with errors!!
Excuse me: April 5th, 2007.
It's like a Popemobile for your penis.
Yay, banana bunkers at MoMA!
I bought the five-pack of banana bunkers last year and gave them to my family for Christmas. Total hilarity did not ensue as I had hoped, but it was amusing nonetheless.
P.S.: For less arty color options, check out http://bananabunker.com/
Aislinn, you got me gettin all numeroloogical again -(-- (ack, must go shoot hoops, or at least walk to the courts - it is work holiday) -)-- 11:11 is weird scottish cult --- discovered from "practising" bikermama who i worked with at Puget Sound Blood Center. info can be probably founhd at bookstore corner of 65th and Roosevelt.
CB6000 - eek, always a bit put off by the hygenic and hardon pain factor, but to each goose its gander - c'est la vie
Parking meters???!!!
My ex has a chastity device like the above! Pretty hot.
Oh come on Dan, the banna bunker fine. But does it have to be ribbed? Is there is a structural purpose for it that I'm not aware of?
Oh come on Dan, the banna bunker fine. But does it have to be ribbed? Is there is a structural purpose for it that I'm not aware of?
@11/12: It bends to accomodate the curve of the banana.
FWIW:
The first blog mentioned is an excellent diary of the man's experience! recommended reading.
Assaulted? My question is, does JL allow his kids to eat hot dogs? Talk about phallicism.
Sometimes a banana bunker is just a banana bunker. He's clearly never packed a banana for a child's lunch, and have it come back all black and bruised and beaten, completely inedible. I wish I had one for my daughter's lunchbo. I think they're brilliant.
I'm a personal fan of the Banana Guard: http://www.bananaguard.com/
Which came first: the bunker or the guard?
Oh my. I need one of these. To take to work. The salesmen I work with. I can picture now. Envious mouthes. Hungry eyes. Frothy spittle pooled in the corners of their thin, tight lips. My perfect banana. Genius Invention.