??!! Enriching the Lives of Animals! (Not You, Turkeys)
posted by November 10 at 15:00 PMon
The folks at the Woodland Park Zoo just sent out a press release hyping their upcoming Turkey Toss, “part of the zoo’s ongoing enrichment program to help enrich the lives of the zoo’s animals, promote natural animal behavior, keep animals mentally and physically stimulated and provide added enjoyment for zoo visitors.”
Because nothing’s more natural than an African lion munching on a defrosted turkey from Albertson’s.
WHEN: Saturday, November 22, 10:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m. Jaguar, 10:00 a.m. Snow leopard, 10:00 a.m. Golden lion tamarin monkeys, 11:00 a.m. Arctic foxes, 11:30 a.m. Piranhas, 11:30 a.m. Wolves, 1:15 p.m. Pigs, 1:30 p.m. Komodo dragons, 2:00 p.m. Grizzly bears, 2:00 p.m. Lemurs, 2:00 p.m. Tiger, 2:00 p.m.
Jaguar, sure. Snow leopard, got it. Wolves, duuuh. But piranhas? Lemurs? Golden lion tamarin fucking monkeys? These are not exactly turkeys’ natural foes. Do monkeys even like turkey?
Okay, okay. Point taken, you goddamn monkey.