_{(Personal note: One day I’m going to leave my apartment, look to the horizon at the east, and see the Sonics Deathwatch logo rising where the sun should be. It’s just something that I feel in my bones to be true.)}

Brand-New Stranger Genius Sherman Alexie Shares 61 Things He Learned During the Sonics Trial
“23. “Motherfucker” is, of course, the purest distillation of mama insults. Since single mothers are sadly common and sweetly revered in black culture, mama jokes are ironically hilarious. However, I’ve always wondered why the term “fatherfucker” is so rarely used as an insult. I think it’s far more original, powerful, and disturbing than “motherfucker.” I assume that “motherfucker” is an insult borne of misogyny, so wouldn’t “fatherfucker” be a more egalitarian, homoerotic, and therefore more disturbing obscenity? Wouldn’t we all be challenging the patriarchy if we adopted its use?”

Jonah Spangenthal-Lee, Erica C. Barnett, Jonathan Golob, and A. Birch Steen on the Critical Mass Whumpin’
[From Jonah’s Critical Mess:] “Tom Braun, a 35-year-old insurance attorney who was injured in the clash, says he had nothing to do with the attack on the driver. Still, he ended up in the hospital with bruises and possible internal injuries: Doctors found blood in his urine. The next morning, Braun checked for news on the clash. He wasn’t pleased with what he found.”

Some Jackass On the Pleasures of Attending Readings Wherein the Author (In This Case, Ethan Canin) is Drinking a Large, Very Alcoholic Pink Beverage
“When asked a question, Canin would ramble pleasurably for 10 minutes before moving on, sometimes never actually answering the original question, although no one minded. Canin is a graduate of Harvard Medical School who decided to become a novelist after reading Saul Bellow. He talked at length about his career as a doctor, mentioning, for example, that “the only time I ever got sued” was a result of attempting to treat a gunshot victim, adding cryptically that ‘finding an entry wound is much harder than finding the exit wound.’”

Jeff Kirby Talks to Mike Kinsella of Owen About Being Kind of a Fuckup
“Every other day I wake up and think, “Ugh, I should really get some sort of job,” but then an hour and a half later I’m playing video games saying, ‘God, I am so glad I don’t have a job.’”

Charles Mudede on the Death of Buildings
“We all know the end of, say, Northgate Mall is not going to be pretty. It has in it no proper way to die. It wants to look perpetually new, so if it is not destroyed, it is destined to leave a horrifying corpse. But Kundig’s Delta Shelter, a cabin in Eastern Washington, has an infusion of time in the core of its being. It is very much alive, but it does not conceal its fate, its future, its rust, its temporality.”

Bethany Jean Clement Thinks About Boom Noodle“Boom Noodle would make an excellent cafeteria for an upscale space station. Lightbulbs hang in marshaled rows, not too glaring, like just-pretty-good ideas; diners sit at long tables in curved, ergonomic Eames-alike chairs. The supersleek aesthetic, while nothing new, is nicely accented with green walls and panels of wood—a reminder of the existence, somewhere distant, of trees.”

Also discussed: John McCain as Mr. Magoo, Margarita Prentice suggests that her constituents are poor, Erica C. Barnett on why the city doesn’t classify car violence as assault, bitchery over kitschery in Georgetown, a King Cobra employee on cleaning up Sugar’s violent mess, liking a band despite their promotional videos, whether there’s a worse word for penis than “penis”, and more.