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Wednesday, July 30, 2008

You Can’t Crush the American Entrepreneurial Spirit

posted by on July 30 at 12:02 PM

This just in from Slog tipper/budding entrepreneur Honest Genius:

I want the thank the Mayor and city council of Seattle for opening up a huge money making opportunity for me! Starting in January, 2009, I plan to be standing outside your nearest grocery store selling bags, just off their property, next to a Democrats political sign and a homeless person, for only 10 cents each! For starters, I have purchased 50,000 of these at a cost less than one cent per bag. And I will be shopping just outside the city limits and will never shop in town again! And if you want to tax me for making a profit, and using public or private land to do it on, you will also have to remove the political signs for being placed on that property illegally and tax the homeless for making money also! So thanks again!

RSS icon Comments

1

That would really help me. As a pedestrian who traditionally walks his groceries home and doesn't, you know, pack a fucking reusable bag in my briefcase, I'd like this.

Posted by Non | July 30, 2008 12:03 PM
2

Seattlites, cutting off their noses to spite their faces since 1851.

Posted by rb | July 30, 2008 12:04 PM
3

So if he sold a thousand a day he might just break out of poverty level wages.

Posted by Giffy | July 30, 2008 12:10 PM
4

My convenience must come before any other concern. It is my Jesus-bestowed right to use plastic bags for carrying my groceries. It's in the Bible.

Posted by AMB | July 30, 2008 12:11 PM
5

@3, exactly! I was going to calculate the potential hourly wage this hambone might earn but grew immediately bored at the thought.

Posted by Jubilation T. Cornball | July 30, 2008 12:13 PM
6

All of the posters who claim they are going to begin shopping outside the city limits because of the bag tax should car pool with all of the people who claim they are moving to Canada for a variety of reasons. That would really help the environment.

Posted by inkweary | July 30, 2008 12:15 PM
7

Seriously though, are we supposed to carry our grocery's outside and bag them on the street? Retarded, it's about convenience.

Posted by Chris | July 30, 2008 12:18 PM
8

Screw calculating hourly wage, all you need to know is that this idiot can't make more than $5,000.

What I'm wondering is how much space in his garage 50,000 plastic bags are taking.

Posted by w7ngman | July 30, 2008 12:20 PM
9

I wonder how many bags will be used to cover the heads of political effigies of the 8 city council members who agreed to this insane non-refundable tax.

Posted by Will in Seattle | July 30, 2008 12:21 PM
10

That guy's a dick. A stupid dick. It's a shame he isn't actually going to do this and that he didn't really buy 50,000 bags - I'd like to see him fail.

Posted by Dougsf | July 30, 2008 12:22 PM
11

@7 u r dense. one would think you could carry the bags that you just bought outside into the store fairly easily.

Posted by chet | July 30, 2008 12:25 PM
12

@8, I guess the ultimate metric here is that he can suffocate himself 50,000 times. Nice to meet you, BTW.

Posted by Jubilation T. Cornball | July 30, 2008 12:32 PM
13

This new policy is well-intentioned, but ridiculous. If we don't make the stores pay us (the City) per bag, all they have to do is offer $0.20 off any item with the purchase of a bag, and nothing will change. There would be no cost to customers, and the only cost to the store would be accounting for the "promotion". I'm repeatedly surprised that I haven't heard anyone mention this potential loophole.

Posted by Phil M | July 30, 2008 12:51 PM
14

This analysis assumes, of course, that very few people do what they're being encouraged to do, which is bring a bag.

If they do, this guy will not be making much money.

Posted by Martin H. Duke | July 30, 2008 12:53 PM
15

Well, he certainly showed ME.

Posted by tsm | July 30, 2008 12:58 PM
16

Typical simple-minded crap. Just like the people who say they'll never vote for Obama because Hillary didn't win. Or the people who say that they'll never go to McDonalds again because of the homos. Or the folks who threaten to move to Canada if the Republicans win the White House.

We really are a nation of whiny little assholes, knocking over the checker board when we see we aren't winning. And in this case, throwing a whiny fit over having to remember to bring a fucking shopping bag.

Welcome to the Idiocracy.

Posted by Doomed Society | July 30, 2008 12:58 PM
17

Im still not convinced that re usable bags are better for the environment. Amyone have proof against that?

Posted by Jakub | July 30, 2008 12:58 PM
18

Typical simple-minded crap. Just like the people who say they'll never vote for Obama because Hillary didn't win. Or the people who say that they'll never go to McDonalds again because of the homos. Or the folks who threaten to move to Canada if the Republicans win the White House.

We really are a nation of whiny little assholes, knocking over the checker board when we see we aren't winning. And in this case, throwing a whiny fit over having to remember to bring a fucking shopping bag.

Welcome to the Idiocracy.

Posted by Doomed Society | July 30, 2008 1:00 PM
19

In Germany they sell bags in the checkout lines at the store. They sell a range of bags, including nice reusable plastic ones. So having them as available as gum is sort of an obvious way to go.

Posted by Nathan | July 30, 2008 1:02 PM
20

@3 & 5, if he bought them "at a cost less than one cent per bag" and sells them for ten cents, 1000 bags is $90, if he works an 8 hour day that is $11.25/hr there are a _lot_ of jobs out there that pay less than that. (and it takes a lot of people making that kind of money to support an elitist yuppie)

&8 he can't make more than $5000 with that one batch of bags, but how much does Schultz make on one latte?

Still, he would be better off making and servicing point of sale displays, to be put at he checkout stands, to sell individual "trash bags"

Posted by Epimetheus | July 30, 2008 1:17 PM
21

So, if Charlton Heston were alive, would he be in Seattle doing commercials proclaiming, "You'll have to pry my plastic Safeway bag from my cold, dead hands..."

hey, the message still works! Let's exhume the body to make sure!

Posted by michael strangeways | July 30, 2008 1:20 PM
22

SHOULD SPEND THE MONEY ON NEW WRITERS INSTEAD, YA SUCKA!

YOU JUST GOT SORVT ON THE INTERNET TWENTY TIMES OVER

Posted by ALEX | July 30, 2008 1:21 PM
23

"YOU JUST GOT SORVT ON THE INTERNET TWENTY TIMES OVER"


Sorvt? what the fuck does that mean? is that like pwned or owned or what ever the cool kids are saying now ...

jeebus

Posted by ty | July 30, 2008 1:28 PM
24

arbitrage!

Posted by Bellevue Ave | July 30, 2008 1:30 PM
25

@20, you are assuming that he's going to be able to sell a thousand bags a day. At one store. That seems, uh, optimistic.

@22: SORVT?

Posted by Fnarf | July 30, 2008 1:32 PM
26

you ain't seeing my lexicon for fifteen years, at least...

we been sorvin horbs for grippz, the netskwad rolls thick.

you'll talk like this soon, what with the compaction of the retro-to-current timeframe continuum being in constant speed-ups.

"24/7" used to be all us, now it's been on Fox News for ellza. Tripp on that, Mikey.

don't run me off, just let it sonk in for a spell, and maybe, perhaps, mayhaps, perbe: you'll get nearer to halfway as cool as you wish you were.

you'll start, as I did, trying to hit levels as jokes (and jokes and jokes)... finsta be clever, but it'll permeate your hactual_styles after awhile, and you'll be on this shit for serion.

but yes, "you got served," as per the horrible teen dance movie (ain't seen it, some of you probably memorized it on some ironical-er-than-thou mission, but comeon it's gottasuck)...dude came with his cornball hackmove and got sorvt twompfold. Don't make me splain anything again. I'm on your side. Dude's joke was lame. Poorly thought-out, the math(s) didn't make sense; I detected that right-wing sneer almost...

leight.

Posted by ALEX | July 30, 2008 1:48 PM
27

you ain't seeing my lexicon for fifteen years, at least...

we been sorvin horbs for grippz, the netskwad rolls thick.

you'll talk like this soon, what with the compaction of the retro-to-current timeframe continuum being in constant speed-ups.

"24/7" used to be all us, now it's been on Fox News for ellza. Tripp on that, Mikey.

don't run me off, just let it sonk in for a spell, and maybe, perhaps, mayhaps, perbe: you'll get nearer to halfway as cool as you wish you were.

you'll start, as I did, trying to hit levels as jokes (and jokes and jokes)... finsta be clever, but it'll permeate your hactual_styles after awhile, and you'll be on this shit for serion.

but yes, "you got served," as per the horrible teen dance movie (ain't seen it, some of you probably memorized it on some ironical-er-than-thou mission, but comeon it's gottasuck)...dude came with his cornball hackmove and got sorvt twompfold. Don't make me splain anything again. I'm on your side. Dude's joke was lame. Poorly thought-out, the math(s) didn't make sense; I detected that right-wing sneer almost...

leight.

Posted by ALEX | July 30, 2008 1:48 PM
28

sounds like there's an escaped Texan in your midst. please don't send him back. Austin is in the middle of a plastic bag upheaval as well.

Posted by robo | July 30, 2008 1:52 PM
29

damn.

doublepost renders the whole thing moot.

oh well...I'd edit it, but that's against the internet rulebook too. Editing is for pussieys and liars.

ps: ALL_CAPS is taut, not always for screaming. I came widdit all_caps to denote inherent silliness of "getting sorvt online."

ENUFF PROTIPS FOR YE: I'M OUT THIS PIECE...BLOGGZ IS HOTT

Posted by ALEX | July 30, 2008 1:53 PM
30

Whatever.

Posted by Judah | July 30, 2008 1:55 PM
31

I just won't be voting for the next levy or tax-intensive projects come next election.

Posted by NapoleonXIV | July 30, 2008 2:07 PM
32

@20 There are a _lot_ of jobs out there that pay less, and they are what we call poverty level jobs in a city with 1000+ a month rents.

Posted by Giffy | July 30, 2008 2:18 PM
33

Typical crybaby douchebags whining about non-violations of nonexistent rights, resentful of having to use something other than their wallet as a brain.

Posted by syngen_polevaulter | July 30, 2008 2:20 PM
34

@1-33!
I also have an entrepreneurial idea. I'll smoke outside bars in a different city and then hold my breath while driving back to Seattle and people will pay me $5 to blow smoke in their mouths. And I'll run over a bicyclist on the way!
Ha! and I win! I'm a genius! I've just proved how dumb everyone is!

Posted by poster girl | July 30, 2008 2:30 PM
35

Are you accepting outside investors, poster girl? That sounds like a SURE WINNER.

@22, 26, 27, 29: meth is bad for you.

Posted by Fnarf | July 30, 2008 2:37 PM
36

I'm not sure Mr. Bag Salesman's mother is going to let him out of the basement long enough to make this a viable business. Not unless he can start keeping his room clean AND taking the garbage out each week.

Posted by tiktok | July 30, 2008 2:43 PM
37

@13. the money has to come from somewhere. the store might give the "discount" to the customer, but they store has to pay money to the city. why would the store do this? they would rather raise the price of all goods first and have a pretend discount.

Posted by infrequent | July 30, 2008 2:45 PM
38

@21, you wouldn't have to pry it from Charlton Heston's dead grasp. The handles would break before it even got out the door, just as they do with the plastic bags that some people now claim a Second Amendment right to. Even if you double-bag.

Posted by Toe Tag | July 30, 2008 2:52 PM
39

@25, I assumed I was being funny, my mistake (not the first time), sorry.
I stand by the POS display for individual "trash bags" however.

Posted by Epimetheus | July 30, 2008 5:07 PM
40

He seems to be under the misapprehension that running a business with no license is the equivalent of begging and political speech. The city would happily allow him to carry this out, provided he got the proper licenses and permitting for sidewalk vending. I still don't think he'd make a penny of actual profit though. Considering the comments Conlin got were ten to one in favor, I imagine that most Seattleites will be carrying their reusable bags as a matter of course within weeks.

Posted by Gitai | July 30, 2008 5:27 PM
41

Coming Soon - Diapers for Pit Bulls!

Short on plastic bags for dog poo?

Why not get The Stranger brand of Pit Bull Diapers?

Salvaged by trained Mexican cliff-divers from the ocean, these pre-stained plastic bags come complete with a certificate of Green Heroism.

Only $500 for a pack of six!

Posted by Will in ECB Seattle | July 30, 2008 5:30 PM
42

Damn! This thread am funky down here. Who Fartfed?

Posted by Ejaculation T. Horndog | July 30, 2008 5:42 PM
43

Then he can take his profit and pay for every time bags clog storm drains and we have to send a city crew out. Or when bags clog the recycling sorter. Maybe every time I see a bag floating in the water I will grab it and go shove it in this guy's mouth...

Some people just need to be kicked in the teeth.

The disposable plastic bag is just about humanities worst invention...

Posted by VR | July 31, 2008 11:24 AM

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