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Thursday, June 12, 2008

Mysterious Ways

posted by on June 12 at 10:45 AM

If a tornado—or an earthquake or a wildfire or a meteor—were to strike San Francisco’s city hall during a gay wedding next week, respected leaders of the religious right would rush to their cable broadcast studios to insist that the tornado—or the earthquake, wildfire, meteor, whatever—that leveled San Francisco’s city hall was divine judgment, God’s righteous wrath. Like the Rev. Hagee said of Hurricane Katrina

So I believe that the judgment of God is a very real thing…. I believe that the Bible teaches that when you violate the law of God, that God brings punishment sometimes before the day of judgment. And I believe that the Hurricane Katrina was, in fact, the judgment of God against the city of New Orleans.

So how does the religious right explain the tornado that struck a Boy Scout camp in Iowa yesterday, killing four and injuring scores more? (The Scouts are famously anti-gay, anti-atheists, and pro-God.) Again, we turn to Rev. Hagee. While all natural phenomena represent God’s “permissible will”…

You cannot say that everything on the Earth that happens is sin…. But it is wrong to say that every natural disaster is the result of sin. It is a result of God’s permissive will, but no man on Earth knows the mind of God.

It’s wrong to say that every natural disaster is the result of sin, you see, because sometimes natural disasters happen to us, not just to them, and when they happen to us, well, the Lord moves in mysterious ways, no man can possibly know the mind of God, maybe Jesus needed a few more angels in heaven, blah blah blah. But when a natural disaster hits San Francisco—or New Orleans before a big gay party—then we can read the mind of God like it was a large-print edition of Highlights For Children.

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God says, "Sometimes you throw a storm at homos, you hit a few straights. What do you want from me?"

Posted by Ziggity | June 12, 2008 10:48 AM

I hate to break it to you, but I don't really give a whole lot of thought to any of this stuff, one way or the other.

Posted by God | June 12, 2008 10:50 AM

Obviously, some of those scouts must've been, er, up to something.

Posted by umvue | June 12, 2008 10:52 AM

There must have been some little gay boy scout in the bunch that had to ruin the trip for everybody by incurring God's Wrath.

Posted by Darrell | June 12, 2008 10:53 AM

I always liked the find the objects puzzle in the Highlights.

Posted by LMSW | June 12, 2008 10:54 AM

Maybe, just maybe, there was some faggotry going on at the Boy Scout thing.

Naw, gay bouy scouts? I don't know what I was thinking.

Also, why do you have the comments turned off on the Kingdom Come and Gone post?

Posted by Mike in MO | June 12, 2008 10:54 AM

Highlights For Children pretty much sums up the mentality of these people, dan.

Posted by ellarosa | June 12, 2008 10:56 AM

It's called "magical thinking" and it cannot be defeated by rational argument.

Posted by flamingbanjo | June 12, 2008 10:57 AM

@6 Because we monarchists do not tolerate dissent, Mike, that's why.

It was an accident. They're on now.

Posted by Dan Savage | June 12, 2008 11:02 AM

I think it's hilarious that they never wonder if maybe "God" is pissed that the only time his followers seem to pray to him is when they want money or desperately need something. No-no, it's always because of those other selfish, sinful heathens that these natural disasters occur.


Posted by Mr. Poe | June 12, 2008 11:04 AM

Funny, I was thinking the exact same thing about the recent floods.

Posted by monkey | June 12, 2008 11:10 AM

The right wing has God's will; we have karma.

Posted by Rob Campbell | June 12, 2008 11:21 AM

I live in Iowa City (at the top of a hill, thank goodness). I've been waiting for the local paper to publish some crap about some wacko saying that the current flood is God's punishment for Iowa City being gay-friendly or not Christian enough or whatever. Fortunately, everyone here (including the folks who run the paper) seem to be far more interested in helping each other out than in granting wackos an unnecessary and undeserved forum.

Posted by sundog | June 12, 2008 11:36 AM

I always thought Highlights for Children was a how-to book for putting color in your hair.

Posted by Will in Seattle | June 12, 2008 11:49 AM

Thank God "it happens to them and" it's not me. We
praise God " for this tornado" we were saved. God saved my family "...sorry about your's sinner". What bull. Natural disasters are natural disasters and nothing more. How about a count of churchs destroyed by fires and tornados over the last one hundred years. This is just one of the problems with zealots. They see only what they want to see.

Posted by Vince | June 12, 2008 1:02 PM

When there's a shooting in some suburb, it's because those ignorant mongoloid SUV-driving non-art-film-watching rednecks were allowed to have guns. When there's one at folklife, it's because shit just happens. I agree with that last one. And with a lot that you say here on slog, but it disturbs me how much you're willing to resemble our enemies.

Posted by Luke Baggins | June 12, 2008 1:49 PM

Nice job making some bullshit political point on the backs of dead young kids.

Nice Dan, you POS.

If DJ ever got hurt somehow, I expect you to use it in some way to score points with SLOG morons.

Posted by ecce homo | June 12, 2008 4:14 PM

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