Is that supposed to be Spiderman? Because a spider, as you know, is not an insect. Maybe this is Cockroachman, then?

Probably for the best. Who wants to develop rat-powers anyway?

Besides, Batman proves that all you need to be a superhero is brains, discipline, will, a training regimen, and like eleventy billion dollars.

Well ... was the life of the rat ebbing from its radioactive body? Cause if not, you've still got a shot.

Oh, you just wait mister. One day you'll find yourself trapped in a maze, and you'll discover you have this incredible ability to find your way out of it. Then later you'll find yourself trapped in a storage freezer and discover that you are able to gnaw your way out of it. These are modest superpowers, of course, but also at a modest cost: a perhaps too strong predilection for smelly cheese, a tolerance of rotten meat, and a burning curiosity about what it's like to live in a sewer.

Dang. So there's no point in saving all that radioactive cat shit from the thyroid treatments?

Aw man, now we'll never have an incarnation of splinter. Who will train the radioactive turtles now?!

@2 Batman is my favorite. He's so virile, and brooding, and well, frankly, rich that I can't help but long for him, even in his weird rubber suit. Besides, he has so many cool techno toys it makes my geek loving heart go pitter patter. And! a butler. Sigh.

You might never know you've got incredible rat powers until you need them, to say, climb up through a toilet drain, or something.

Everyone knows rats don't work.

Only insects and flying creatures work.

Does drinking a can of Rize qualify as "conventional means" or not? If so, I believe Kelly O and Ari Spool have a solution for you.

AHHH ... HULK OUT!

LE HULK, C'EST SULK!

And no, I don't feel like letting it go.