News Oral is Standard
posted by May 29 at 11:43 AMon
Man, I got yelled at when I offered this advice to a guy whose girlfriend wouldn’t go down on him in a Savage Love column back in May of 2005…
Dump her, BLOW. Sucking cock can no longer be regarded as some sort of above-and-beyond-the-call indulgence. Blowjobs are standard. Any make or model that doesn’t come with blowjobs should be immediately returned to the showroom.
That line has been cited as proof of my sexism. But in the same column the very next letter was from a girl whose boyfriend wouldn’t go down on her and I offered her this advice…
Dump him, WM. Eating pussy can no longer be regarded as some sort of above-and-beyond-the-call indulgence. Cunnilingus is standard. Any make or model that doesn’t come with cunnilingus should be immediately returned to the showroom.
But most of the grief I got about that advice was from folks who felt I was wrong about oral sex—it’s not standard! It’s an option, not an expectation! Well, doubters, science has caught up with me. As Thomas Freidman once said, suck on this…
[Oral sex] is now more basic than vaginal sex. That may not be part of God’s or nature’s plan. But according to survey data, it’s a fact of life.
The latest evidence comes from “Noncoital Sexual Activities Among Adolescents,” a study published in the July issue of the Journal of Adolescent Health. The study analyzed the U.S. government’s first survey of such practices, conducted in 2002 and released three years later…. What’s interesting in the new analysis is the correlation between oral and vaginal sex. If your kid is doing one, he or she is almost certainly doing the other.
The raw numbers indicate that 50 percent of teenagers aged 15 to 19 have had vaginal sex. Fifty-five percent have had heterosexual oral sex. Are kids substituting oral for vaginal? Nope. Among technical virgins—teens who have never had vaginal sex—23 percent have had oral sex. That number sounds high until you notice that among nonvirgins, the oral-sex figure is 87 percent. If your teenager has had “basic” sex without somebody’s mouth being involved, congratulations. You’re probably the only such household on your block.
Look at the data for older adults, and you’ll see similar patterns. At ages 20 to 24, the percentage who admit to oral sex trails the percentage who admit to vaginal sex by around five points. (A study of Georgia college students, published last year, produced similar numbers: 96 percent of those who had lost their vaginal virginity had also lost their oral virginity.) At ages 25 to 44, the gap is around eight points. If anything, these numbers understate the prevalence of oral sex, since they’re based on self-reporting. The discomfort most of us feel around this topic surely affects some survey responses, even with guaranteed anonymity.