Science From: Science To: Drunk of the Week
posted by April 12 at 1:58 AMon
Dear Kello O,
At this very moment, I am drunk off my ass—having consumed six shots of hard liquor plus a bottle of beer tonight. This is approximately six more shots than I ever have.
The perils of having a girlfriend who likes to go out dancing.
To combat a hangover tomorrow, in a vain attempt to be productive or at least conscious on what should be the very first really nice day of the year, I’m currently slugging down a pint (a half quart, a little less than half a liter) of my concoction. Specifically? 1 pint of water. 4 tsp of sugar. 1/2 tsp salt. A splash of lemon juice. It tastes salty—like the tears of the Irish starving from potato blight. I assembled this elixir while thoroughly smashed; for all I know it contains arsenic rather than salt.
Tomorrow, I will report back on my hangover status—none, slight, moderate, regrettable, unfortunate, epic, near death, death would be preferable.
I already regret this post.
Update! At 9:53am:
I awaken. No headache! Stomach fine. Ok, I do have a raspy voice—but that’s about it! Hangover status: None to slight!
I actually managed to drink a full liter of my homebrew pediolyte (double what I posted above), plus a half liter of water before going to bed. And as the comments note, duh, it’s all about keeping hydrated. Water alone won’t cut it. I needed electrolytes. Like Brawndo gots!