I attended something called the Flower Fantasy Fashion SmackDown. I can’t say that I’m exactly sure what the Flower Fantasy Fashion SmackDown is, except it involves having a host dressed as Liberace and a bunch of women dressed in flower dresses. There seems to be no actual smacking of things, down or otherwise.

I skipped out of the Flower Fantasy Fashion SmackDown to attend a seminar on The Creepy Doll in fiction and movies. It was an intense conversation, with many speakers having to shake out the fear or disgust before actually talking. The discussion actually turned, as it often does, to clowns. People hate clowns. One panelist swore that he had a neighbor who was a clown because he hated children, saying “I can be as sarcastic to them as I want and they never notice, the little fuckers.”

I was talking with someone when a very large woman walked by in a schoolgirl outfit. It was great that she felt empowered enough to wear this very revealing outfit in public and all, but the person I was talking to turned to me and said: “That just put me off every single schoolgirl fantasy I’ve ever had in my life.”

I can’t tell if that’s a good or a bad thing, really.