Drugs Naming Rights (and Wrongs)
posted by on March 12 at 10:24 AM
Like any regular TV watcher, I am consistently dazzled by commercials for new prescription drugs, all of which seem to boast amazing names. (If I ever have a son, his name will be Flomax; a daughter, Plavix.)
But where many drug names achieve near-poetry, others seem to be barely trying. Case in point: Abilify, which is pronounced “uh-BILL-if-eye” and prescribed for bipolar disorder and schizophrenia. But more than anything, it reminds of some malapropism from this monkey. (“We will abilify the Iraqis to govern themselves!”)
Abilify. Schizophrenics deserve better. (Especially when you hear the list of potential side effects.)
I really wish there were a real-life ED drug called Jamitin, a la The Simpsons.
Abilify sounds like a verb. I will abilify blacks to vote in the south!
You neglected to mention Aciphex, a drug for treating digestive ailments, which by their own reckoning is pronounced "ass effects".
Abilify is only its nom de guerre. Maiden name, Aripiprazole, is probably too ethnic for American tastes.
I think one of the side effects of Abilify is hot girl-on-girl sex. Have you watched that commercial from start to finish? There is definitely a narrative.
Or how about the underpowered little economy car Aspira I always seemed to get from rental agencies in the 90s, especially when you say it with a lisp.
Best baby name ideas ever! Here, I thought "Nimrod" was a good choice.
I think "abilify" would be a rather clever coinage -- a relief from the overused "empower."
i preferred focusin.
In comparison to the other anti-pyschotics my mother takes, the side effects of abilify are pretty par for the course. At least there's no uncontrollable weight gain. Everyone she tried simply didn't work. Hope this one does, for somebody.
repressitol
Better than "habilitat", which was one of the first names they tried to get approved for it. Which made me envision the schizophrenics having to build their own houses, or something.
Ahem. Or so I hear. Not that I know anyone who worked there or anything.
Yah, those side-effects are pretty much like all the other anti-psychotics. Actually, Abilify is supposed to be better in the side-effect profile than most. And people wonder why crazy people go off their meds. Still, the medications are life-saving when prescribed properly. Thank god for pharmaceuticals is all I can say!!! Yippee!
How about Amitiza - for chronic constipation. Yum.
Also, what's up with currently-popular girl names for babies? They all sound like stripper names.
Quietus
Flomax should just be his nickname. His proper name on the birth certificate should be Tamsulosin Hydrochloride Schmader.
Okay, this is making me actually think about adopting...
I don't think that would be a malaprop. It would be a neologism.
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