City “Fuck You and Slip on Urine!”
posted by March 31 at 9:31 AMon
An angry local environmentalist weighs in, via I, Anonymous:
Dear Seattle: On Saturday, March 29, the U.S. of America has all across its land turned off electricity for the sake of this, our planet. Likewise, my roommates and myself, we as a house shut off the power for the entirety of ONE HOUR. This event is called, Earth Hour. In our spare time we decided to take a walk and see how the rest of the city has followed in this very logical and critical chance to make a difference and why were we not surprised that Sea-fucking-attle not only didn’t turn off their lights, but I think even more lights lit up across the city, like it was goddamn Christmas! So this is to all of you fuckers out there, so-called environmentalists of this fucking town who didnít do shit to make even a lick of difference: You fuckers! Yeah, I’m talking to you, you Lady in the Red Dress talking on your fucking phone with a thousand volts worth of lamps igniting your apartment like the night skies of Mars! You bitch! I hope you all choke on bits of food, or fall down into a sewer and get devoured by an alligator, which I’m sure, being a sensible being, chewed through any wires he could find just to do his own part. Even the alligator did something! You all embarrass me! Fucking quacks! ONE HOUR! That’s it. One little hour. Even Starbucks and McDonald’s, the evil corporation that Satan himself pickets on Sundays, agreed to turn off their power for one hour. How does that make you feel? Huh? You are nothing but hypocrites. Fuck you and slip on urine!
Supplementary question: Do all “passionate environmentalists” believe in magical alligators?