You are discriminating against sexual purity fetishists with the words "fucked up". Rudez.

Geeze, who would want to be a virgin again? What is so great about virgins in this society is that everyone wants to be the first to make them not a virgin, right?

Fetish is right. I think this all smacks of a cult. And what message does this send to young women and girls about the value of females in society? I was aghast when I read this piece on msnbc.com this morning. I can't believe that in the 21st century we're still dealing with morons such as these. Female circumcision (in its many forms), beekeeper suits and re-applied hymen all in the name of religion and for the "benefit" of men - this is truly frightening.

Meh. IMO It's no different from the gymnastic logical contortions undertaken in pursuit of an annulment.

we live in a socity where everything "new" is good and everything "Used" must be thrown away

why the hell do women put up with this shit anyway?

I've heard of this. Why do we still think women who have had sex as 'used' or 'dirty'? That is so 16th century.

Women themselves still perpetuate this myth, unfortunately.

I thought you were in favor of sexual fetishes, Dan.

I die a virgin every night....

many christian churches go to such great lengths to indoctrinate their children on the evils of pre-marital sex, that without some sort of restorative process, the "child" feels a complete loss of self-worth when they fail to abstain from having sexual relations before marriage.

considering how widely-accepted is now to have sex before getting hitched, some sort of response like this was bound to surface.

the lack of honesty when dealing with sexual desire is a stumbling block for many a young christian. the end result being a potentially more messed up person instead of a just a failing christian.

I think this may be the dumbest thing I've ever read. I feel for the women who fear being subjected to "honor" killings, but those who just want to give their husbands a "gift" have way too much time and money on their hands.

Are these the same girls who don't consider anal sex "real" sex?

So I suppose claiming to be a "born-again virgin" would be ruled out too Hah!

If we still lived in a culture that sacrificed virgins, they wouldnt want to reclaim their virginity so badly.

The ultimate regifting

Time for ear-sex

Maybe it's a way to make abstinence education seem more effective...as in, "Our numbers aren't really so bad if you count the re-virgins."

Nothing like a virgin with a c-section scar.

If Jeebus can make The Gay turn straight, then surely he can re-virginize a mother of two. Where's your faith, people?

@10: How do you keep a nun from getting pregnant?

Do it in the butt!
Badum-ching.

While I think the butt is pushing it (I wouldn't have anal sex with anyone I wouldn't also have vaginal sex with), I still don't view anything other than penetrative, penile/vaginal sex to uh, "count." For counting purposes. For me. Other people can call sex whatever they want, but for me, that's it. I consider oral to be "fooling around," and don't think it affects the status of "virginity." "Purity" or "wholesomeness," sure, but in heterosexuals, I look at virginity as pretty penis-in-vagina oriented.

Also, really, blowjobs were the best thing that ever happened to virginity, and vice versa. When you're a virgin but you have a boyfriend who's not-so-respectful of that, you get good at blowjobs real quick. You get to hold on to this thing you've been told is sooooooooo valuable for a little longer, while honing a skill that is guaranteed to come in handy throughout your lifetime. Win-win.

Yah, I always wonder: are you a virgin if you give a lot of blow jobs, but never have intercourse? What if you do anal but never intercourse? What if you get tied up, spanked, fondled, eaten out, give head, have anal and do everything under the sun EXCEPT have intercourse. Are you still a virgin then???

I just like the phrase "rewrap the gift."

I don't know why, what with all the other bad news this week, but this story depresses me more than any other. What a hideous attitude towards women, and towards one of life's great joys.

It's like the old George Carlin bit about getting to heaven and getting back a bunch of things you lost, like all those ballpoint pens and lighters. "But you don't get your virignity back because you were in such a hurry to get rid of it in the first place."

@13: brilliant.

There's only one, true way to "reclaim" your virginity: realize you're gay. Suddenly, whatever came before was just a test.

I read that article on msnbc too, and somewhere in the article they threw in "if you want to give the gift to your future husband or wife." Maybe the "wife" was just an obligation of the article to not seem sexist, but seriously, how do you make it so the MALE can re-virginize? Do I even want to know?

how do you make it so the MALE can re-virginize?

Give him a Commodore 64 and a copy of The AD&D Player's Handbook.

@23 it's funny, I always thought in terms of when I lost my "straight virginity" and "gay virginity"... always made sense for some reason.

I was appalled at the idea of "restorative" surgery along with the rest of until I read the part on the 2nd page that said an increasing number of clients are young woman from restrictive countries who study in the U.S. and then have to go back home to arranged marriages and the threat of honor killings. That's a bigger battle to fight, and if some freaky surgery is going to save a woman's life, I'm all for it.

The butt is pushing it indeed.

While I can see the ambiguity that comes (hardy har har!) with oral sex, I really don't see how anal sex could ever be considered anything less than Sex. It penetrates, it hurts, it gives pleasure, and basically fulfills every principle of vaginal sex except that it will never result in babies.

If that's the definition of sex that takes away virginity, how about vaginal sex with condoms? Vaginal sex on the pill?

(Shit, I gotta stop saying "vaginal sex.")

Behold! Virgin births! The Second Coming is upon us! Praise Jesus... and his little brother Jared!

For those who only consider virginity to be lost with "penis to vagina penetrative sex", what if the woman is raped? How about if she's unconscious? Is that still loss of virginity?

Not condoning anything here... just wondering what the definition would be in these cases.

A raped person is not a virgin(men can be raped too, and virgins for that matter. In fact, I'm a male virgin). A person who has sex while unconcious is not a virgin. A person who has had anal sex, oral sex, hand jobs, or whatever else, other than penis-to-vagina sexual intercourse is a virgin.

A person is a virgin in the same way a cow is a heifer. If you've had sex(meaning, very specifically, penis-to-vagina sexual intercourse), you're no longer a virgin. If you have not yet had sex, than you are.

A homosexual person who is exclusively homosexual for their entire lives is a virgin, no matter how many times they do it with a person of the same sex.

The sex act need not be completed. If your penis went inside someone's vagina, even for a moment, you're not a virgin anymore. If someone's penis was inside your vagina, even if only for a moment, you're no longer a virgin.

A hymen has nothing to do with virginity. It's often broken during the first act of intercourse, true, but it can be broken other ways, and is sometimes not broken by such an act.

This is my opinion on the subject, and what I go by. YMMV

"A homosexual person who is exclusively homosexual for their entire lives is a virgin, no matter how many times they do it with a person of the same sex."

Enjoy, gays.

I sort of hate this thread, but also sort of find it interesting how different everybody's definition of virginity is.

I think "virginity" means the full measure of your sexuality, the last step to being a fully sexually active person. So for straights, it's vaginal sex. For gay men, I imagine that it's probably anal sex- it seems ridiculous to me that Dan Savage could be considered a virgin if he's never had sex with a woman. I have no idea what it is for lesbians (not trying to be snarky, I just don't know what the "creme de la creme" is for the Sapphic crowd- can someone educate me?)