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Thursday, January 17, 2008

Hey, Those Aren’t Stress Balls!

posted by on January 17 at 9:45 AM

A judge in Halifax, Nova Scotia, had this to say about a case before his court:

“This could be a letter from Savage Love.”

A Halifax man offered to help two women—an aunt and her niece—move the younger woman’s belongings into her new apartment. All he asked in exchange was a chance to practice the “reflexology” massage technique he was studying at school.

Once the move was completed, the aunt was first to get the massage.

In her niece’s bedroom, boxes still unopened, Fells told her to lie down. The door was closed. Blankets and pillows were piled on her chest, ostensibly to keep her warm. He told her to read out loud to relax, and he handed her her niece’s yearbook.

She could not see what the man was doing.

“I’m thinking, ‘This is kind of strange,’” the woman testified. [She was told to move her feet back and forth like “windshield wipers.] “Fells told her this was simply a new technique. The woman said she felt something spongy and soft on her feet as she moved them back and forth….

Like her aunt, [the younger woman] was told to lie down as pillows and blankets were pilled on her chest. Like her aunt, she could no longer see the man. The woman said Fells was rubbing “objects” against her feet.

She wanted to believe they were “stress balls.” Soon, she would come to think otherwise.

RSS icon Comments


I read the whole article. Those Canadians are just so darn polite! And I loved this bit of the article:

"The man didn't seem violent. But she wanted him to leave as peacefully as possible. *She said she decided to wait to the end of the session.* When it finished, they both got up and Fells eventually left the apartment."

I wonder how she knew the session was finished?

Posted by Michigan Matt | January 17, 2008 10:05 AM

mmmm, balls

Posted by monkey | January 17, 2008 10:33 AM

Um ... I don't know if "congratulations" is the right word. I mean, you know you've a place in the cultural consciousness when a Canadian judge invokes your work during trial, but at the same time it seems somehow a dubious indication of the honor. Is there a greeting card for this occasion that I might send you? ("Congratulations on becoming a cultural icon!")

Posted by bd | January 17, 2008 11:03 AM

granted, he wasn't honest about his dick being involved...reflexology meant the ejaculatory reflex to stimulation in this case. he just didn't fully explain that to them.

Posted by ellarosa | January 17, 2008 11:38 AM

He's hot. I'd do him. Or let him do me. I love a guy with a foot fetish.

Posted by stressed balls | January 17, 2008 1:53 PM

it's very cute how in the comments section, one puzzled Halifax citizen asks, "if he has a foot fetish, why doesn't he just play with his own feet?"

Posted by ams | January 17, 2008 6:29 PM

The term people are searching for here is "judicial notice".

You win Dan.

This creepy guy with the foot fetish How frikkin hard can it be to find a woman who will indulge this?

*shakes head*

Posted by Robert Trifts | January 17, 2008 7:08 PM

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