City A Wretched Thing Happened to Me on the Way to the Theater
posted by on January 30 at 16:24 PM
So last night, I was innocently minding my own business (and maybe a little bit of the business of my friendly companion) when I experienced the most terrifying interaction I have ever had with a street person.
I was walking on Broadway to the Harvard Exit to see Persepolis and I was walking in front of the old, closed down QFC. A man approached me and asked if he could have some money. He was about 6’3”, Asian or Native, and wearing the typical uniform of a street person—dirty baggy clothes of an indeterminate blue-green-grey-brown-tan.
I refused to give him any money. Walking down Broadway, I’d already been asked for money four times. I didn’t have any money to give. Just cards. And, in any case, I don’t give panhandlers money. Sometimes I will buy traveling kids some food, but that’s it.
In any case, he began to follow me, calling me names.
“Fuck you, bitch!”
I rolled my head back on my neck and groaned to my companion. I can deal with “Fuck you, bitch.”
“You fucking slut!”
Again, been there, done that.
“I’m gonna…”
This is where it started to get truly obnoxious.
“I’m gonna grease your asscrack up with Vaseline and fuck you like the bitch you are!”
This is the part of the conversation where, if I had been born the way God originally planned, I would have reared my big fucking tall head around, asked this motherfucker to repeat himself, and when he did, beat the living shit out of him.
But through some freak accident, I was born into the body of a tiny little girl. And we were late for the movie. And my friend is probably not into confrontation (I didn’t ask). So I did nothing. I just kept walking.
I regret it. Generally, I don’t like to let people get away with threatening to violently rape me.
But here’s where I start to run into problems: What could I have done? Told him off? Probably a bad idea. He was obviously fucked-up and a lot bigger than me and my friend. Called the cops? Then, I would have had to wait until they got there to give a statement, if they ever came. What if he just walked away while I sat in Pagliacci’s and waited?
They all seem like dead ends. The only thing I could come up with is taking a picture of him with my cameraphone next time I see him and putting it on Slog.
Something very similar happened to me downtown on Monday. This vagrant walked by me and said "What the fuck did you say?" and of course I had said nothing. But he kept asking and asking and got in my face. After about a minute he turned around and walked off and I walked into the the nearest store to wait for him to leave the area.
Buy a taser and/or some pepper spray. Give him a good shock and spray his eyes for a good five seconds (then shock him again for good measure). If anyone asks why you're abusing a homeless person in such a manner, tell them the truth: he was threatening to violently rape you. I doubt he'll get any sympathy from passers by.
Two possible options - buy pepper spray and in situations like this use it and then call 911. Carry a small flash gun (like they used to make for 35mm cameras) and keep it charged and turn around and flash it in his face - he'll be blinded for approximately 15 seconds - truly blinded because of the burst of photons. Use that time to disappear.
Actually, you have keys.
Put them, splayed, between your fingers, pointy side out.
Go for the eyes if you have too, and head for a brightly lit place with people.
If necessary call "Fire! Fire! Fire!" - everyone will immediately pay attention to you - forget calling for help, they ignore that in the USA.
Yes, pepper spray.
And really, that's not that deserted an area - where were you, Capitol Hill pedestrians? I hereby vow to not to stand idly by and watch if I see such shit.
well at least he promised to use a lubricant. most violent rapists aren't that considerate.
anyway i think you did the right thing. if he made any outward signs of following through on his threat, that would be a different story. and yes, get yerself some pepper spray.
Actually, you did the right thing. Yes, its very unsatisfying, but that's often the problem with the right thing.
#4: I walk home like that. But honestly, I couldn't have even really reached this guy's face.
It may have upset you, but what good could you have done? You could have tried to "teach him a lesson"? but would you really have taught him anything?
Would it keep him from doing it again? Probably not.
I'm sorry you had such a terrible experience, and its awful that you felt bad about it the next day, but there was nothing productive you could have done.
You're a tough gal. Buy a dildo and rape him with it. Don't use lube.
Unless you are being physically threatened the only recourse is to avoid confrontation at all. The real problem is too many "homeless" people on the hill. Most of them should be in jail or in the looney bin. Take his picture, but avoid him.
Take a few classes at Home Alive.
Ari--
You did the right thing. It's never worth getting in a conflict with someone who has less to lose than you.
Still, terrible.
Oh, and post a picture if you can get one. Some of us will likely recognize him.
at least he offered to lube up first, before raping your asshole. he sounds like a real gentleman..
I'm going to third the pepper spray. A class on personal defense, distancing, and verbal commands would also be useful.
That's right by my house, and I think I know exactly who you're talking about... He's a creep. If you find a good deal on pepper spray, please let me know -- I'm in the market myself.
Pepper spray can frequently backfire if your assailant is crazy or doped up enough. It just makes them angrier.
Remember when The Stranger ran a cover with Mark Sidran with devil horns? Just saying...
Look, a lot of the homeless now are people who are seriously mentally ill and have been "deinstitutionalized." For all you know this guy could have a full blown case of antisocial personality disorder, be completely psychotic *and* have a drug problem. You do not know him. You do not know what he may do to you. I think you did the right thing at the time. And as someone else has said, the right thing is not always the most satisfying thing. I would take a pic of him sure but unobtrusively so you don't provoke him and report him to the cops. If he is severely mentally ill he needs the help of a professional, not an attack. Not that even being ill would excuse his behavior but I think you need to take the high road here. You did that and should be commended.
@17 - all she would've needed was enough time to run up the block to the generally well-populated and well-lit Broadway Market.
You're first thought was OH I'M TOTES GOING TO SLOG THIS!
get a fucking livejournal for personal anecdotes!
(but ps being harassed like that DOES suck in all fairness)
Maybe now that Capitol Hill is full of scary crackheads, just like Belltown and the CD, The Stranger will finally take an anti-panhandling stance?
Agreed with those who said you did the right thing by doing nothing. All you suffered was a bruised ego for feeling helpless (because, honestly, you were probably never really afraid of him following through on his threat). If you were a man, you'd feel castrated. But you're a woman and I can't think of a comparable metaphor right now.
Anyway, good job doing the right thing even though it sucked.
You did the right thing. Nothing good would have come out of confronting him.
First, always deescalate. If that doesn't work, act crazier than they are. Scream, yell, walk down the middle of the street. You'd be surprised how wide a berth crazies give people they think are crazy. Or crazier.
ari is a female? WHAT THE FUCK?! I thought she was a jewish man!
I'm gonna go against the tide here and say NO to the pepper spray idea. If it works exactly as intended, then great. But if it doesn't, you could be in much deeper shit than having a mentally ill person verbally threaten you. You did the right thing by walking away.
Oh, but you have to seem sincerely crazy, not mocking-the-crazy crazy. They can smell insincere crazy and make 'em crazy. Or crazier.
Something similar happened in Jenna MISS. Some dumb ass white kids got real nasty and hung horrifying nooses from some tree on campus. They did it to intimidate the black kids. The black kids got even dumber and beat the living crap (like you thought of doing) out of one dumb ass white kid. That was NOT the smart thing to do. We have an ugly little freedom in this country called "Free Speech", yeah it sucks in Jenna and it sucks on the way to a movie on Capital Hill. But we don't have the right to beat the living shit out of people that say stuff that makes us mad as hell.
Pepper spray. Get some, and next time you see the fucker, spray him til he's blind.
You probably did the only thing you could by ignoring him. The NRA would of recommended a gun. If you were actually able to kick his ass you be open to being accused of assaulting him because of the use of to much force in response to his harassment.
You should of called the cops and been willing to deal with the red tape.
The deeper issue is that Broadway is a area of town where this type of behavior is tolerated common place and often overlooked because of the passive nature or politics of the crowd up there. It some cases it even considered defacto acceptable.
If someone complains about it they are often accused of being anti homeless, un-compassionate to the mentally ill or uptight.If the cops do something they are accused of brutality. And the general belief system doesn't make these people responsible for their bad behavior. It goes like this "It's the systems fault".
So you can't have it both ways I guess. Either crack down on these bums or get used to it.
@8 and 4: I used to live in Pioneer Square and every night was an intoxicated homeless bum slalom walking back from work in Belltown.
Put your keys on a bottle opener or heavy iron ring and attatched them to a 12" chain or leather loop. Keep them tucked into your belt or pocket. If someone threatens you, loop the keys around your wrist and start spinning them fast. Keep walking but get ready to whack drunkypantsin the head/face as hard as you can if they get within a foot of you.
I've seen both guys and girls successfully use this technique to thwart unwanted personal invasions.
Of course, the best thing is to do is to keep walking but some people can't take a hint.
shame on you for not calling the cops and having him arrested, I guess your time is too valuable to do your part to protect your neighborhood from psychos like this. If you are assaulted or worse, I will have NO sympathy for you.
JJ shame on you. IF she called the cops the chances are they wouldn't show up at all or if they did they would give her the same *good* advice the sloggers here did. That was mean. Don't say shit like that.
@33
ok, jj. apparently you've never had to call the SPD. if you had you'd know the experience is about as humiliating as the initial threat. they could give a shit less about an aggressive panhandler regardless of how disturbing his insults were.
A legal note: if a reasonable person would have perceived it as a threat, the comment itself made in a threatening manner constitute simple assault, and you can indeed expect the police to do something about it, especially if you have witnesses. It's petty, but who knows what's on this guys record and the arrest might just have taken someone dangerous off the street.
If you were an experienced male, you would have learned long ago to do this: RUN!
From an early age males are conditioned to be aggressive in confrontations, but the smart ones eventually learn that it's a no-win situation if they respond. You obviously have a need to be manly but it's OH so dangerous. How do you know if the man - or woman - has a gun or knife in their pocket? Pepper spray ain't bullet proof.
Let it go. Learn to run.
@ 4
Will, you are joking right? I'm beginning to think you have a Super Man Complex.
Ari, you did the right thing.
In your head beat the guy to a pulp because it's fun but in reality just walk on by.
#31: Couldn't agree more, sooner or later you will be able to openly say that we need to keep panhandlers and alcoholics out of public space without being looked down on as a closeted Republican. Of course, a dozen girls will need to get raped or murdered on Broadway before this is okay.
@32 - too complicated. Most people freeze in conflicts.
Interesting that even after a Capitol Hill murder by a random psycho so many people think the "right thing to do" is walk away. I think you should notify the police, even if you can't stick around. You can ask them to send someone to check on the behavior or health of anyone wondering the streets, just give a location and description (I've done this when I was concerned about a homeless person dressed in scant rags in the middle of winter).
A lot of the homeless and panhandlers are angry and sometimes they vent. Seattle, on the whole, is very tolerant. Thing is we forget that some of these guys are on the street because they are sociopathic.
@37 - the point of the pepper spray is, if nothing else, to perturb and thus give you a head start on the running.
I can assure you that this guy would have been arrested, but of course the cool kids on capitol hill don't want to be seen talking to "the man". RIP Shannon Harps.
Get a gun. Learn to use it.
@37... That is so funny but true!
My son is a tall, muscular guy. He got threatened by a guy and then suddenly the guy recognized him and backed off.
I asked my son what he would have done if the guy attacked him and he looked at me like duh and said he would of run as fast as he could and gotten out of there.
It just struck me me as so funny because
he is twice as big as the guy who was threatening him but he had no need to prove himself.
There used to be cops that walked the beat on Broadway. Things were generally more civil then.
@ 26
OMG I also thought Ari was a Jewish man! My whole world is turned upside down.
I don't think anybody's said it yet, so I will: I'm glad you're okay.
Wasn't the guy who killed Shannon Harps busted a few times for "harassment?" Does that mean he was yelling threats on the street? What if a few more people had called the cops when he was harassing people? Maybe our cops should realize that crazy guys who yell threats on the street often end up hurting somebody?
Do I have a point here? Will that guy will hurt someone else sooner or later?
Didn't a guy who called the cops recently get punched in the head and now he has brain damage? Should you call the cops from a very safe distance? Yes.
Am I glad you're OK? Yes.
Wasn't some shit head here on SLOG saying that I was an asshole for suggesting that homeless people are dangerous? Answer: Yes...
You assholes can't have it both ways. Grow up and get a fucking grip on reality.
I've had good juju with street people. One walked up to me at the bus stop and just BLASTED booze-breath in my face, saying "Baby, what are you doing in Seattle? You should be in Hollywood!" I had a big old hangover and knew my face was as red and dried out as Sting's nutsack, so he just made my day. 'Ello guv'nuh!
You did the right thing. But when I read your account, I imagined myself in your shoes and my inclination was to step up to the guy and stare him down. But I'm big, male and look intimidating. I wonder what, in fact, I would do? What a good and terrible post.
Washington is a shall-issue state. Get a small pistol (a KelTec .380 is inexpensive and very concealable) and get yourself a permit to carry it. DO NOT WAVE IT AROUND TO DETER ANYONE -- only use it if your life is threatened, i.e. if you think the guy is going to follow through on his threats.
In any other case, call the police and register a complaint. Snap a photo if you can.
Coming from London, I really miss REAL beat policemen. The type who walk the streets, who's faces you recognize, who are a part of your community, and who you genuinely feel safe around.
The "cops" here cruising around in their big cars with their flashy lights and guns just feel threatening to me. Cops on bikes are less intimidating but still not a piece of the streetscape or members of the community.
It's about time we had a true urban village approach - a community based approach - to policing capitol hill. Perhaps that might stop some of the violence and crime we've seen here lately. It’s ridiculous I know my cashier at QFC, but not my local Bobby.
On a walk in belltown, I noticed a police officer riding around in one of those segway things. I'm not sure what I make of that yet.
Paul, when is the last time you've talked to one that you've seen on their bike or in their car? Next time you see one pull up, wave and say hi. Introduce yourself. Ask their name, etc.
Also, for those interested, some links:
KelTec .380 (very concealable and light) pistol: http://www.kel-tec-cnc.com/p3at.html
The permit you must have in order to carry it: http://www.metrokc.gov/sheriff/services/gun_permits/
You MUST be prepared to take care of yourself in these situations -- no one else can be depended on to take care of you.
Thanks for finally fucking bringing this up.
It's ridiculous that Seattle has the aggressive homeless problem it does.
I think one solution should be much harsher laws for male harassment against females. Women are generally in a weaker position against potential male attackers and it makes sense that men should be more scared to be doing that.
Look people, we shouldn't have to be scared to go outside. We have the power as human beings of fragile flesh to say FUCK OFF to these people. We owe nothing to them. They are undeserving of the ruin they bring to our otherwise beautiful city. Yes they are human beings but so are we! As tax-paying members of a this city, we should demand safer streets!
Cities aren't just places where people exist, they are societies. For people who contribute absolutely nothing to society, and refuse the help we offer, there is no place for them. Our message should be clear- get real or get the fuck out.
Panhandlers are like anything else in a capital-based society. You give them money they stick around. If you think your dollar is helping a homeless person you are a fool. You are indirectly killing our tranquility and hurting women.
Sorry for the cold post but this issue is out of hand in this town and I feel like some of the liberal elite who never actually walk the streets don't fully comprehend the issue.
There should be absolutely no tolerance for the kind of behavior you experienced Ari.
Ecce,
I know who you really are! You are a fat, lonely, frustrated housewife. I can spot one a mile away and you wreak of it!
I know we are not supposed to antagonize the trolls so I wont respond to your expected anger but that is how I picture you in my mind.
Does anyone else have fantasies about preemptively kicking the shit out of the loons on Broadway before they commit some sort of crime or atrocity? Not that I would act on it, but man it's satisfying to contemplate. On a serious note, Capitol Hill is far too tolerant of the staggering scumbags on Broadway. They don't pay taxes here, they damage property and they terrorize the neighborhood. Quite simply, they have worn out their welcome. I think that all of us in the neighborhood should do everything within the law to make this neighborhood as unwelcoming to them as possible. The time for bleeding heart compassion for these folks has long past.
Does anyone else have fantasies about preemptively kicking the shit out of the loons on Broadway before they commit another heinous act? Not that I would act on it, but I must admit I contemplate it. Seriously though, these people destroy our property, terrorize the residents and are a general menace (not to mention quite smelly). We need to do everything we can within the law to make the Hill as unwelcoming as we can for these scumbags. The time for tolerance has long passed
Yes.
Ms Spool,
Remember to trust your gut. If you felt your personal safety at the time threatened by this fuckball, spray and pray. At least carry a box cutter. You can change his world with a box cutter.
If his statements were just empty threats and you did not feel like his words could become reality at any moment, let it go.
Like they say, "if you pull my hair, I pull a gun".
Does anyone else have fantasies about preemptively kicking the shit out of the loons on Broadway before they commit another heinous act?
I have fantasies of sending them to the city councils house, where a smiling Nick Licata stands waiting to engage them in meaningful dialog.
Then I'd like to have a truckload of manure handy in a cement mixer, to pour on all involved that needed it.
The War on Capitol Hill continues....
To anyone that thinks callin the police will help: Not so. A friend of mine works at a center that deals with violent crazies fairly often. What the police do is send a guy over 2-4 hours later. If at all. The cops in this city seem to have adopted the Police Union creed of "the police are here to clean up after the criminals."
Police did used to walk the beat, back in the 90s. Oh wait was that Q Patrol? What ever happened to them? Too late to bring them back? Would they wind up being prosecuted for "harrassing the homeless" or whatever Nick Licata and his buddies would call it?
I responded to crap like this by moving to Des Moines, Iowa. Plus Iowa is going to recognize gay marriage before Washington so being gay it also made sense from that perspective.
Plus we have deer in the city, including baby ones in the Spring.
One thing to keep in mind: he was only trying to get a reaction from you. You know, kinda how when the Slog (you?) posted that mean shit about Jean Enerson's skin. Or how Jean Godden's face looked close up - was that you again? I can't remember the difference between you and that other girl "ECB." You're both so nasty to other females, the lines kind of blur...
But nope, this yeller guy does not know you're a Slogger, but keep in mind the reaction factor - you guys here often say some malicious things about people you probably don't know very well (Pamela Sitt, for example) just to be - I don't know, mean? Nasty? Get some reaction? Feel better about yourself? Hits which translate to next-day office bragging? So this fellow was doing pretty much the same thing. Feels bad, doesn't it?
Perhaps residents of Capitol Hill will be interested in pooling money together to pay for a personal security force to deal with things since the SPD is unwilling to.
Tara, you filthy AIDS-ridden cunt, there is a difference between insulting slutty diseased trash like you and actually threatening violence upon someone.
Chris, you just want an excuse to test your range skills on a moving target
@ 29
Really?
If you're going to relate this to something unrelated, at least get the location right. It was Jena, (that's one N) Louisiana, not Mississippi.
#71
I know I shouldn't feed the trolls, but holy shit. You are one seriously screwed up dude.
If you are going to troll, at least learn from the master. Dan the sodomite.
I had included a <3 after my insults to show that I was poking fun, but the blog software thing interpreted it as an HTML tag and didn't show it.
Andrew wrote:
She could have called the police, explained that a man was following her on the street right then and threatening to violently rape her. Then she could have filed a report so that when this piece of shit finally moves from threats to action, he has a documented history of threatening people so it doesn't look like an isolated incident. Or she could just ignore it and not miss the movie.
maxine wrote:
What part of, "I’m gonna grease your asscrack up with Vaseline and fuck you like the bitch you are," does not sound like a physical threat to you?
Sargon Bighorn wrote:
This man was not excercising his right to free speech. He was threatening someone.
(And it's Capitol Hill.)
jj wrote:
I second that.
But not that.
the bloop wrote:
The answer is not to just accept the fact that they won't help.
Please attend a meeting of the East Precinct Crime Prevention Coalition and voice your concern. The squeaky wheel gets the grease, and the Central District squeaks a lot at those meetings while Capitol Hill barely bothers to show while Capitol Hill rarely bothers to show up.
kinaidos wrote:
Bingo.
Chris wrote:
Some residents are trying to establish something like this, only it would be property owners and business owners pooling money. Work is afoot to create the CHID (Capitol Hill Improvement District), which would be similar to the MID (Metropolitan Improvement District). The MID funds the Downtown Ambassador program. The Capitol Hill Chamber of Commerce is now driving this effort.
@25
I'd like to see you do that.
Here's what I would do and what I HAVE done in similar situations:
1. Call 911. Tell them that someone threated to rape you. Give them the man's description and his location.
2. Continue walking to the movies, while talking to the cops.
3. The cops will get your number and call you back later or you can follow up with them.
4. The cops will find the guy (assuming that you gave a relatively accurate description) and give him a warning or whatever.
5. You will still get to see you movie and will (probably) feel better because you took action. The guy will (rather may) realize that if he threatens to rape women, the cops will show up.
for christsakes can someone let these commenters know that ari is a man????? A "he" not a "she"....
errr... ummm.. maybe i am wrong?
Maybe there should be a big banner of helpful Slog factoids that remains always at the top of the page? "Ari's a girl!" "Slog is probably NWS!" etc.
one thing to bear in mind is that most likely this incident never actually occurred or has been greatly embellished, this is the stranger after all.
I find it quite surprising that it took 44 comments in this thread before somebody invoked the Shannon Harps example.
Has anybody examined what Harps' last steps were like? Eluding an aggressive street person, perhaps?
The fact that the Harps murder hasn't spawned a serious conversation about what seems to be a rapidly increasing number of aggressive street people sure does seem like further evidence of Seattle's misguided passive acceptance of what's demonstrably a serious public safety issue.
And, yes, that's the long-winded way of saying the cops should harrass Broadway free of its filth.
Crazy homeless people: aggressive.
Targets of said crazy people: passive-aggressive.
What will be done? nothing.
wwmd? his bodyguard would've maced the dude.
#83
I have said the same thing like 10 times already in this and other threads. Each time it's met with jeers and name calling.
It's true you are correct. But it is doubtful any of the little children on this blog will take the pipes out of their mouths long enough to understand it.
@83 wait I thought shannon harps lived up off of 15th. What's that got to do with Broadway's aggressive homeless? You want to send them further up the hill to do more damage to folks up there?
@86 -- Ecce, I've always admired your plain-spoken style here. The barbs you get in return should be evermore met with a two word reply: Shannon Harps.
@87 -- Broadway, 15th, the Ave, the entire Pike/Pine corridor from 1st Ave to Madison... I want the aggressive and mentally ill taken off the streets... And, people, stop feeding the human pigeons!
Actually the best method of defense is one that cannot be turned back on you. Pepper spray, tazers, and guns can be used against you, often make the attacker more angry, and it takes precious time to go digging in the bottom of your bag for weapons when someone is trying to grab you.
My weapon of choice? Umbrella. One of those long ones with the mettle tip You can use it quite effectively to fend off potential attackers, especially if you take a few lessons in fencing or kendo. It's a defensive, rather then offensive weapon, though it pokes eyes pretty good when needed. Plus... keeps you dry!
I'm glad you're ok, Ari. Meeting assholes on the street at night is really scary, and I'm happy I haven't had to deal with much of that ever.
As a side note, I love how every post by Ari has *someone* saying, "OMG, you're a GIRL?" Please keep this up.
Honey, you need to start carrying a purse with a brick in it.
Ari, if you still remember what he looks like, perhaps you could still file a report with the SPD. I don't know what will become of it, but at least they will be more aware of the problem.
SPD has a non-emergency number for such purposes: (206) 625-5011. More info can be found on their website.
I'm a big fan of one shot to each kneecap with a small caliber concealed weapon. It's classy and makes a nice memorable statement. As long as you don't miss and hit the femoral artery, you won't be looking at a manslaughter rap and the guy probably won't walk again too good without a couple of canes, which will limit his mobility enough that he shouldn't be too much of a threat.
That failing, an upward stab with a boxcutter right under the chin or into the groin is always a nice touch.
Seriously, I say anybody who feels like they have the right to threaten you with something like that and get away with it deserves no better, that goes for rich frat jocks, that goes for homeless scum bags.
Well, judging by recent American foreign policy decisions the correct response was to walk away, exactly as you did, and then later, after you had powered yourself up on a bunch of nutty invective, jumped on, and beat the living tar out of some other, smaller, less dangerous looking homeless person. /sarcasm
my advice? never argue with or confront a crazy person. anything they say to you is not personal, if you take something personally that a crazy person yells at you, you're crazy too. confronting the crazy is a good way to get stabbed. walk away and leave them to their crazy selves.
I hate shit like this. I hate that there are obviously violently mentally ill people just wandering the street, getting no help, getting worse and worse, and finally harming someone. It's really terrifying to be the object of this kind of verbal threatening and abuse (I'm also a small female, FWIW). It's tempting to respond with physical violence, but you really can't. And with a serious crazy, unless you're willing to actually shoot them, better not to respond by yelling back, because that radically ramps up the likelihood of them attacking you. The best response is no response at all, act like they're inaudible and invisible, get to a place of safety and report the incident to the police.
Thankfully, the worst I've had recently has been a shitfaced drunk old fellow taking a double-take at me and then screeching, "RED on the HEAD like the DICK on a DOG" which actually kind of cracked me up, although conflating my hair with dog dicks is somewhat disturbing...
Dear LiveJournal...
@93: Do you practice these moves in your basement while quoting your favorite Segal film?
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