Life For the Urban Cyclist on Your List
posted by on December 12 at 12:03 PM
Bike Snob NYC has a great list of suggested gifts for the dedicated cyclists on your list.
For the roadies…
[As] all roadies know, the more brightly colored the kit the more pro you look. Unfortunately, though, some of these colors can also be translucent, and even the most dedicated roadies stop shaving at the upper thigh. If your team happens to wear light colors you can easily fall victim to VBS, or “Visible Bush Syndrome”… Fortunately, pubic hair dye is easily available.
For the recumbent riders…
[For] that rider in your life who hasn’t given up lying on his back with his feet flailing in the air, give the gift of on-the-bike entertainment with a mobile. It’s easy to install, it will amuse and delight him as he rides, and it will even make him more visible to motorists…
But favorite suggested gift is for commuters…
Commuting by bicycle is all about two things: smugness and safety. And while your favorite bicycle commuter probably already has all the “One Less Car” stickers and t-shirts he needs, he can always be safer. Now he can burn with the brightness of a thousand suns—or at least three million candlepower units—with a hand-held spotlight! There won’t just be One Less Car—there’ll be like fifty less cars when he blinds oncoming drivers with an output equivalent to roughly thirty automotive headlights and runs them clear off the road.
Well, now I know what I’m getting ECB for Christmas…
To read Bike Snob NYC’s suggested gifts for fixed-great freestylers, cyclocrossers, tourers, randonneuers, and gravity riders, click here.
Your forgot to pimp Strangercrombie's "Cyclista".
Are you telling your angry, fat readers to get on a bike? DAAAAAAN!
I read the "More Extras" responding to HARD, and was pretty surprised by the two letters accusing you of being "another" misogynistic gay man. I thought the point of that last column was to say that every woman is an individual, so play your cards according to what you know about her, not someone else's generic advice. Meh. At least I know I never want to be an advice columnist and deal with that kind of shit.
Anyway, as an actual stocking stuffer for the cyclist in your life, I thought these winged bike clips (a la Mercury) were nerdily clever:
http://www.boingboing.net/2007/11/20/winged-bike-clips.html
Personally, I like the solar-powered halogen bike lights. Nothing says Share The Road like ultra-powered high beams ...
And us straight guys don't mind the bush as much as Dan does.
Hey, I don't have a problem with bush -- I'm quoting Bike Snob NYC here.
There is a good link on the boingboing site to an orgnization in Vancouver helping the victims of war in the Congo. It doesn't need to be a gift, it's amazing how much $5 will help.
http://www.healingartsafrica.com/
If you are wearing neon spandex that's light enough to show bush, you deserve to die. Likewise if you are wearing any advertising messages on your shirt that you are not getting paid for.
Remember when "bike shorts" were fashion? They weren't really bike shorts, because they didn't have the (diaper-looking) chamois liner, but they did look hysterical on the fatsos who fell for them. Visible bush was only the fourth or fifth most objectionable feature.
Oh, give it a rest. So long as it's not hanging outside the clothes ...
@6: I've noticed a lot of prejudice in this town against those of us who wear Spandex. I just want to say, fuck you. We don't wear it to fit into your limited vision of what's fashionable.
I used to have a 1,000,000 candle hand spotlight back when I was delivering pizzas, and holding your hand in front of it would make it noticeably warm. I can only imagine the retarded brightness of a 3,000,000 candle spot.
I would like to point out that the Symphony in Motion mobile that you linked to is incredible. Both of my sons have loved it. Every baby should have one. When one of ours wore out from over use it was critical that we replace it that very day.
If you have a baby and you want as many as 15 minutes to yourself, buy one this very instant.
That is all.
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