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Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Horny for Car

posted by on November 13 at 9:41 AM

This ad has been creeping me out for months. When will it go away? (And what’s wrong with you freaky straights?)

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I don't know what it's worth to the straights, but it's surely turnin' my crank.

Posted by Mr. Poe | November 13, 2007 9:48 AM

One of my issues with cars is the names they are given. Usually it is an indicator of what is going to soon dissappear (e.g, Taureg, Accord, Yukon) Next up; a part of New York City

Posted by Lawrence Molloy | November 13, 2007 9:53 AM

Since gay marriage has destroyed straight marriage, all that we heterosexuals have left is the sanctity of our haul-the-kids-to-soccer cars. Please don't take that away from us.

Posted by mason | November 13, 2007 9:54 AM

Hm... four cargo area tie-down hooks? Gee, I wish my boyfriend hadn't have bought a Honda.

Posted by Dan Savage | November 13, 2007 9:56 AM

It's a Subaru. That woman is clearly a lesbian.

Posted by DOUG. | November 13, 2007 9:57 AM

Oh don't be silly. Real lesbians ride dragons, they don't drive cars.

Posted by Mr. Poe | November 13, 2007 10:02 AM

I like that commercial!

Posted by Amelia | November 13, 2007 10:04 AM

Reminds me of that snl commercial about the car you can fuck.

Posted by Carollani | November 13, 2007 10:06 AM

I hate how Subaru has that goddamn comma in their slogan.

Posted by eustaceia | November 13, 2007 10:06 AM

If all car adds were true then cars would be the most amazing things in our lives. But the adds are not true and mostly stupid. Cars are just cars and are not very interesting at all.

Posted by -B- | November 13, 2007 10:24 AM

Is it a rule that if you're doing a commercial for a TV, or something with a TV included, you must use video of a tree frog to demonstrate the image quality?

Posted by spencer | November 13, 2007 10:39 AM

Straight men love all things automotive (and all things sports). If you are a man and you don't love all things automotive (and all things sports), then you aren't truly straight. Or something. Anyway, a woman talking car (or sports) is therefore a turn-on. And stuff.

Posted by K | November 13, 2007 10:39 AM

The only thing that could possibly make that car sexy would be if Jude Law was strapped naked to the roof.

Posted by Irena | November 13, 2007 10:45 AM

Americans have been fetishizing cars since at least the 1950s. I don't see how this is new or different.

Posted by Greg | November 13, 2007 11:02 AM

What? Straight people drive Subarus? Who knew?

Posted by SDA in SEA | November 13, 2007 11:23 AM

Haven't you heard? Transit loving urbanists are sexless, soulless black holes! Car drivers are sexy!

Or something.

Posted by Gomez | November 13, 2007 12:02 PM

Ok, maybe I'm just way behind out here in the bible belt, but when did the Subaru become the Lesbo car? And why? What wrong with a nice Honda CRV?

Posted by Mike in MO | November 13, 2007 12:10 PM

(Re: Mike in MO @ 17: Thanks for asking, that baffled me too...)

Posted by David Schmader | November 13, 2007 12:29 PM

I don't think all subarus are lesbo cars. It's just the forester. Who knows why they picked it as their official vehicle? You'll to ask the lesbos.

Posted by doink | November 13, 2007 12:42 PM

Who the hell watches TV commercials any more?

Posted by Big Adventures Steve | November 13, 2007 1:15 PM

Oh My GAWD "Tie down hooks".... That is so San Fran 1979 bath house scene! I guess it is true, Gay Americans blaze the trail, str8 Americans follow; they just dumb it down.

Posted by Sargon Bighorn | November 13, 2007 1:24 PM

17, 18, 19: It just happened. Lesbians are generally very sensible, as demonstrated in their choices of apparel (cargo pants?), footwear (all-terrain sandals, heh), and vehicles (station wagons to hold dogs and tents and sleeping bags, etc). Subaru is a rough and tumble kind of car with a cargo area, roof racks, and it's reasonably priced. Lesbians are drawn to these qualities. Subaru has been providing lesbians with what they've sought for many years, so Subaru has unofficially become the car of lesbians. I have a Dodge Caliber myself, but I must admit it has the same qualities. I can't help it, it's genetic—I was born this way.

Posted by Carollani | November 13, 2007 2:29 PM

At least as creepy are all the ads during sports games where guys happily trade their women in for beer/booze -- one recent one even used the song "Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me" superimposed over a tall, cold one.

Posted by Peter | November 13, 2007 6:09 PM

Actually, and I can't link to anything because this was YEARS ago (in the late 90s, way, way back before the internet), but I think Fuji/Subaru's marketing department said several times, quite plainly, that in a number of ways across a few different models they were specifically marketing to lezzies and those who love them. There was an assumption, from a marketing perspective, that the dykey tendancy to be sturdy, practical but yet affluent, matched their brand to a tee. Or something.

I tried simply googling subaru+lesbian, but it was hopeless and I gave up.

Posted by sniggles | November 14, 2007 1:32 AM

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