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Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Another Public Sex Sting

posted by on October 30 at 9:38 AM

Twenty men were arrested for seeking “gay sex” in a public restroom of I-684 in Bedford, New York. Betcha can’t guess how many are gay identified.

A sting aimed a men who cruise a rest area off Interstate 684 for gay sex resulted in charges against 20 men in the past month, including a Catholic priest and a registered sex offender.

The sting, which also netted a local Rotary Club president and a 72-year-old man, was prompted by a complaint from a man who stopped to use the rest area with his 10-year-old son, said Capt. Robert Meyer, state police commander in Westchester County….

Most of the men were charged with either loitering or trespass violations or both. One was charged with forcible touching, a misdemeanor.

But first let’s try and guess who was charged with forcible touching.

Among those arrested was the Rev. Gary Mead, a Catholic priest from Millwood assigned to St. Gregory Barbarigo parish in Garnerville. Police said he fondled an undercover officer and was charged with forcible touching.

The Catholic priest, of course! Those dude have serious entitlement issues. But now the main event: Out of the 20 men arrested seeking gay sex in a toilet off I-684, how many do you think were openly gay?

With the exception of Mead, all of those charged are married, police said. Although most of the illegal activity takes place at night, the crimes occur throughout the day, Lutz said.

The correct answer was none!

How does the same story get written after every public “gay sex” sting? “Hey, all the men arrested are married or priests! What’s up with that!” What’s up with that, of course, is that squalid, anonymous toilet sex isn’t something most openly gay men engage in. It is, for the most part, the preferred mode of sexual expression for closeted gay and bisexual men. Cruisy toilets and parks, while frequented by some openly gay men (none of whom ever seem to get caught, however), are primarily patronized by straight-identified closet cases, married men, losers, and priests—hell, the existence or cruisy toilets and parks make it possible for many of these men to remain closeted.

Yes, yes: some gay men go in for public sex. Hell, I’ve had sex in public. (with a boyfriend, but still: full disclosure and like that.) Please note that I carefully qualified the statements I made above. (“…anonymous toilet sex isn’t something most openly gay men engage in. It is, for the most part, the preferred mode of sexual expression for closeted gay and bisexual men.”) I’m not trying to paint openly gay men as sober, monogamous, sexually repressed saints that only get it on at home with their lifepartners. Hardly. But facts are facts: whether the public sex sting is conducted in a big, liberal place like Seattle, or a presumably conservative backwater like Bedford, New York, most of the men arrested are straight-identified.

Unless the police are careful to avoid arresting men with rainbow stickers on their cars, the arrest records prove what most gay men know to be true: cruisy toilets and parks are for messy closet cases, not healthy, sexually adventurous gay dudes.

RSS icon Comments

1

I hope this wasn't in response to my bad joke about the straight couple caught having public sex a few posts down being "gay-identified, closeted straights."

Posted by tsm | October 30, 2007 9:52 AM
2

Rest stops are so 1985.

Also, I'm not exactly on the road everyday, but I've done my share of traveling. But I've never happened upon anonymous sex, or been cruised (that I know of).

And yes, that is a disappointment.

Posted by Mike in MO | October 30, 2007 9:53 AM
3

HA HA! Stupid, dirty, straight people!

Posted by Lil'Boy Blue | October 30, 2007 9:56 AM
4

@ 2, me neither, but I always expect to. I once saw some graffiti at a rest stop telling interested dudes where to go get some, but that's been about it.

Posted by Matt from Denver | October 30, 2007 9:58 AM
5

Are you sure they weren't all trying to pick up toilet paper?

Posted by Mr. Poe | October 30, 2007 10:00 AM
6

Well, I hope they clean up after themselves when they are done. At the very least, I hope they flush the toilet every two or three hours.


Y'all is crazy.

Posted by Shaniqua Jackson | October 30, 2007 10:02 AM
7

Why no open gay men in this sting? Because closet cases fuck in rest stops, openly gay exhibitionists do it at the Eagle.

It's that simple folks.

Posted by UNPAID BLOGGER | October 30, 2007 10:08 AM
8

Did they check the kibbles & bits of the Cal Anderson Park male/female sex couple to ensure that one was in fact a woman, and that it wasn't two married straight guys?

Posted by JMR | October 30, 2007 10:08 AM
9

I once visited a very busy rest area in Pennsylvania where guests were treated to the sounds of sweet, sweet lovin' in one of the stalls. They must've been closet cases. Or truckers. Good times.

Posted by Michigan Matt | October 30, 2007 10:17 AM
10


Love the post, but Bedford NY is hardly a conservative backwater. It's a little over an hour from NYC, with many commuters and former city residents. Actually a pretty progressive area overall.

Posted by ajs | October 30, 2007 10:26 AM
11

In the South, they are starting to build churches with sex shops attached. The preacher gives you a sermon, then he walks into his velvet sex chamber, and gives you a blow job.

Get horny and healed.

The cycle is endless though, because after the blow job, you feel guilty, so you go back into the church to repent and pray. Then you get horny again.

Posted by trent moorman | October 30, 2007 10:37 AM
12

Fantastic.

Posted by Carollani | October 30, 2007 10:47 AM
13

have to disagree,...it's a matter of location. In rural and suburban areas you ARE going to get a higher precentage of closeted types cruising for sex in public places and for some pretty simple reasons like, there isn't any other options to HAVE gay sex AND the fact that the majority of out gay men MOVE to city centers with gayborhoods....As a result,a majority of the cruisers at Volunteer and Woodland Park are GAY guys, not all, but the ratios of gay to closeted are going to be far different than what they would be in a Bellevue park or a Cle Elum park...When you start getting out to the strictly residential areas and fringe suburban areas, you're going to see more 'straight' types.

And frankly, I don't see the difference between a guy, regardless of what his professed orientation is, cruising for sex in a bar, or a park, or Safeway, or online. Men are horny and men interested in same sex sexual encounters have the option of getting it on just about anywhere and at anytime. The only difference between a gay guy feeling up another guy at the Eagle and a married closet case trying to feel up another closet case in a park bathroom, is that the bathroom cruisers have a higher chance of getting caught and punished. Morally, there isn't any difference, (except for the adultery angle, but the gays cheat on their BF's just as much if not more than the closety ones cheat on their opposite sex mates, AND the inappropriatness of having sex somewhere that could be viewed by minors and the moral).

Also don't see much difference between guys having anonymous (but safe)sex in a park or a bathouse, and picking up a guy in a bar or online and having a slightly less anonymous (but safe)one nighter, OR partnered gays with very open relationships who pick up tons of people online or at a bar...face it; sluttiness IS sluttiness. And trying to label and rate promiscous sexual behaviour is ludicrous. But it does make people feel better about themselves to be able to scapegoat someone else for being a bigger 'ho...

Posted by michael strangeways | October 30, 2007 11:01 AM
14

Dan - you are so wet and dripping on this one

I was busted in the stings at Woodland a few years back. Hundreds of gay men were busted in that operation.

I knew a dozen.
SGN reported on it extensively. The charge was the touching thing, and it did not mean the crotch. The cute cop who is rubbing his crotch and acts all ready to go enticed you, you reach out and put you hand on his arm or shoulder and BUSTED for toucing, a felony.

The Muni court judges refused to hear the flim flam, no crime, not intent, no evidence cases and threw them all out. That ended the game the vice had going.

Dan, you are turning into a prude and in all that denail and assertion about who is who, you are sounding silly.

Male on male sex is great, all males, however identified, who does what, and in the end that is what GAY liberation has said from the beginning. Male to male erotica. You give me a headache with all the parcing and jibberish about definitions.

Go for the big picture, talk to Charles. Men in the closet at a given point in their lives are no threat to anyone, and the most tragic outcome as you know well is many suicides.

Posted by Lordsman | October 30, 2007 11:11 AM
15

The undercover officers actually let themselves be *fondled?*

And they were gonna give the Minnesota cop a medal for service above and beyond the call of duty?

Posted by NapoleonXIV | October 30, 2007 12:02 PM
16

This is all because straight men don't work their abs. Personally, I work out far too hard and far too much to settle for having sex in a dark public toilet with my clothes on.

I want what every openly gay man wants: sex under flattering lighting, with lots of full-length mirrors.

Posted by Boomer in NYC | October 30, 2007 12:07 PM
17

first, if straight identified men want to get it on with another man anonymously, why not? maybe they don't know a better way, of can't just go to the eagle (or feel comfortable there, or whatever).

second, what about the logic that sex-stings target homosexuals then? does that argument go out the window when we see who's getting caught?

Posted by infrequent | October 30, 2007 12:19 PM
18

Gay black sci-fi writer Samuel Delaney (who sadly was not featured on Obama's recent tour) has some incredible essays about the old vice-squad stings pre-Stonewall that used to happen in the trucks on the West Side Highway of NYC. He made the point that while the newspaper the next day would report 20 being arrested, it gave no indication of the 100s of men (including him) who were actually at the raid but escaped (I think he uses the image of cockroaches scattering when the light is turned on). All of which is to say that M2M sex is a constant feature of life in the USA (and the rest of the world) for a much larger percentage of men (however they identify) than pretty much anyone wants to admit.

Posted by The Gay Recluse | October 30, 2007 12:27 PM
19

@17: I don't have a problem with straight-identified guys hooking up anonymously, but they should be responsible and do it somewhere that's not already designated as the spot to take a dump.

Posted by Greg | October 30, 2007 12:41 PM
20

Public sex does not = being a loser. I prefer bathroom sex because I get a blow job without conversation, dinner, drinks, or bitchiness from high minded gay dudes like the one who runs this blog. I use locales not frequented and it's always a good time. If you want people to come out have them come out as adulterers, guys cheat all the time with other women and no one says they are repressed or fucked up. They just like sex and sometimes their wife doesn't give head. You gays can't have it both ways, on one hand saying guys give the best head but then complaining when an otherwise straight guy wants to indulge and not go to a freaking gay bar.

Posted by Jules Vern | October 30, 2007 2:02 PM
21

On a personal level, it is funny that this story should break today. It was four years ago this very day I was busted in Texas for cruising a cop in a men's room. I pleaded to disorderly conduct and received a small fine.
I am an openly gay man who has had a few relationships. Not all men that cruise rest areas are closet cases, only most are.
After spending 13 hours in county lock up I would not wish jail on my worst enemy...not even Larry Craig!
With so many people getting robbed, raped and killed why are the cops wasting their time stopping consenual sex in rest rooms? Seems like a waste of resources to me.

Posted by Matt Chester | October 30, 2007 2:03 PM
22

i hope this doesn't become the defining issue of this presidential campaign.

the earth IS dying.

Posted by maxsolomon | October 30, 2007 2:37 PM
23

Max, the apocalypse is upon us. We should get together and make out.

Posted by Jules Vern | October 30, 2007 2:45 PM
24

it's like i have always said:

the bigger the homophobe,
the more deeply closeted the Queen.

let's hope news about the Priest makes it to the O'Reilly report! any chance? nah.

TSurakmaat

Posted by TSurakmaat | October 30, 2007 5:23 PM
25

I think one of the central points is being missed here.

It's not that there aren't too many gay guys indulging in public toilet/park sex (we call them beats here in Australia). It's the fact that we know the 'rules' of doing the beats and making sure that we don't get busted.

To counter your argument I have been arrested three times in the almost 30 years I have been doing it (I started at 15 on the way to and from school) and I learned the rules fairly quickly.

A lot of the gay guys I know who indulge do so in shopping centres (malls) and other places where the cops can only enter at the behest of the rent-a-cops (security staff). This tends to minimise the risk of arrest.

I would also have to agree with some of the previous posters that you are starting to sound a little prudish Dan.

I agree that beat sex shouldn't take place in such a way as to offend or inconvenience other people using the facilities for 'legitimate' reasons. But hell I have had some of the most amazing sex of my life in toilets and parks.

And as a psychologist I would rather someone annoy a few people having a pee to get a blowjob, rather than live a life of self-loathing and self-hatred because they canít get some satisfying sexual release due to being in a marriage based on social and/or familial pressure.

Posted by Malcolm in Sydney | October 30, 2007 5:34 PM
26

I agree with the posters saying you are turning into a prude, Dan. I also agree that those who engage in public sex are not LOSERS (at least solely because of these actions).

And while I appreciate the acknowledgment that not all cruisers are closeted, married men (something that Andy Towle does not do on his blog), the overall impression from your post is that you are BARELY TOLERANT of the openly gay men who do engage in public sex and just wish they would go away.

They won't.

Posted by jmg | October 31, 2007 6:58 AM
27

I am gay and I have never had sex in a public restroom or any public place as a matter of fact. It has nothing to do with being 'prude', if you want to be slutty thats absolutely fine just do it somewhere I won't be sitting next time I have to take a dump.

The problem is not anonymous sex or promiscuous sex, its public sex. Its disrespectful and gross, and in no way does acknowledging that make one 'prude'.

Posted by Josh | October 31, 2007 7:12 AM
28

With all respect, Josh, even though you throw around a phrase like "take a dump" with disarming ease, you still sound like a prudish scold when you start a sentence with "I have never...". Agreed that men should clean up after themselves, but the few who don't doesn't make the act of public sex inherently disrespectful or "gross."

Posted by thegayrecluse | October 31, 2007 8:44 PM
29

Is it that hard to get a room? Really? C'mon there is absolutely no justification for having sex on someone else's toilet, be it a business or city or whatever. Nobody has a right to just screw wherever they please, regardless of sexual orientation.

Posted by Josh | November 1, 2007 7:35 AM
30

ONLY SICK, PERVERTED AND DISGUSTING MEN USE THE PUBLIC RESTROOM TO ENGAGE IN SEX. THEY DON'T GIVE A DAM ABOUT YOUNG BOYS OR OTHER MEN WHO DON'T WANT TO BE EXPOSE TO THIER DIABOLICAL ACTS OF PURE SELFISHNESS. THIER ACTS ARE PURE EVIL AND WHEN CAUGHT THEY SHOUD BE EXPOSED ON THE NEWS, PICTURE, NAME ADRESS FOR ALL TO SEE, PLUS GIVEN A PRISON SENTENCE AND PUT ON SEXUAL DEVIANT LIST FOR THE REST OF THIER LIVES. THESE MEN ARE A MENACE AND ONLY CARE ABOUT THIER OWN SORDDID GRATIFICATION. THEY SELFISHLY COULD CARE LESS ABOUT MEN WHO DON'T WANT TO BE EXPOSE TO THIER FILTHY LIFE STYLE AND WOMEN WHO MUST TAKE THIER SONS IN LADIES ROOMS TO KEEP THEM SAFE FROM PERVERTS LURKING AND TOE TAPING. THE WORST IS THE MARRIED GAY MEN WHO WOULD BE THE FIRST TO GAY BASH AND BEAT UP GAYS WITH THIER MALE FRIENDS. INSTEAD OF GETTING A ROOM THEY MAKE MEN'S LIVES AND THAT OF THIER SONS A CHALLENGE EVERY TIME THEY ENTER A MENS ROOM. EVERY TIME I SEE SOMETHING OUT OF PLACE I REPORT IT TO THE ESTABLISHMENT AND CALL THE COPS ON MY OWN. I HAVE SEEN MANY MEN MARCHED OUT IN HANDE CUFFS AND SHAME. I WILL CONTINUE TO DO THIS AS LONG BUTT BANDITS INVADE MY SPACE JUST TO TAKE A DUMP AND A PISS IN PEACE.

Posted by WILLIAM | November 1, 2007 9:18 AM
31

ONLY SICK, PERVERTED AND DISGUSTING MEN USE THE PUBLIC RESTROOM TO ENGAGE IN SEX. THEY DON'T GIVE A DAM ABOUT YOUNG BOYS OR OTHER MEN WHO DON'T WANT TO BE EXPOSE TO THIER DIABOLICAL ACTS OF PURE SELFISHNESS. THIER ACTS ARE PURE EVIL AND WHEN CAUGHT THEY SHOUD BE EXPOSED ON THE NEWS, PICTURE, NAME ADRESS FOR ALL TO SEE, PLUS GIVEN A PRISON SENTENCE AND PUT ON SEXUAL DEVIANT LIST FOR THE REST OF THIER LIVES. THESE MEN ARE A MENACE AND ONLY CARE ABOUT THIER OWN SORDDID GRATIFICATION. THEY SELFISHLY COULD CARE LESS ABOUT MEN WHO DON'T WANT TO BE EXPOSE TO THIER FILTHY LIFE STYLE AND WOMEN WHO MUST TAKE THIER SONS IN LADIES ROOMS TO KEEP THEM SAFE FROM PERVERTS LURKING AND TOE TAPING. THE WORST IS THE MARRIED GAY MEN WHO WOULD BE THE FIRST TO GAY BASH AND BEAT UP GAYS WITH THIER MALE FRIENDS. INSTEAD OF GETTING A ROOM THEY MAKE MEN'S LIVES AND THAT OF THIER SONS A CHALLENGE EVERY TIME THEY ENTER A MENS ROOM. EVERY TIME I SEE SOMETHING OUT OF PLACE I REPORT IT TO THE ESTABLISHMENT AND CALL THE COPS ON MY OWN. I HAVE SEEN MANY MEN MARCHED OUT IN HANDE CUFFS AND SHAME. I WILL CONTINUE TO DO THIS AS LONG BUTT BANDITS INVADE MY SPACE JUST TO TAKE A DUMP AND A PISS IN PEACE.

Posted by WILLIAM | November 1, 2007 9:19 AM
32

WITH ALL OF THAT ANGER WILLIAM YOU SOUND LIKE A GOOD LAY. EMAIL ME! JUST PROMISE YOU WON'T SLAP ME TOO HARD!

Posted by Jules Vern | November 5, 2007 11:54 AM

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