Life Diamond in the Scruff
posted by on September 21 at 9:52 AM
This sounds like bullshit: Some guy had 10 strands of Beethoven’s brown hair. Some other guy thought it would be a good idea to turn Beethoven’s hair into diamonds and sell them on eBay.
David Hampson, chief executive of LifeGem UK®, said: “This diamond is the first ever created from the carbon of a celebrity or historical figure.”
Here is the site for LifeGem®, where you can learn how it’s done (extract carbon, heat and compress) and enjoy testimonials like these:
Dear Rusty,
Well, we all got to look at our LifeGems last night as a family. My Mom was speechless (which is a big feat for her) and my brother, sisters, as well the rest of the gang (grandkids, sister and brother-in-law), were very impressed with the diamonds! It’s hard to explain the thoughts (the good thoughts, of course) that go through ones mind when examining a “diamond” that is created from the remains of our father. The timing could not have been any better, Rusty. The few times a year (which is usually only once!) that we get together as family and we were able to receive the Gems – it could not have happened any better.
Jack French, Jr. (Son )
LifeGem® [actual slogan]: “A diamond that takes millions of years to occur naturally can now be created from the carbon of your loved one in about twenty-four weeks.”
So you can wear your loved oens on a ring? Awesome.
Who at the Stranger is dying? This is week two with strange things to do with dead bodies.
Oh, my spelling today is awesome.
But why? Who gives a shit about Beethoven's HAIR, the point is his music. The celebrity hair diamond idea is gratuitous tasteless nonsense.
really not that bad an idea, certainly better than wasting space to put people underground. this one just wastes money
Now I don't know if I want to be a reef or a diamond when I die! Goddammit! I was pretty settled with reef.
I want to be made into siding or roofing material for my home when I die. Just imagine the thought of protecting my loved ones from the elements for the rest of their lives! Surrounding them everyday at home with my modified corpse into various building materials!
It isn't just for loved ones and celebrities. You can also have the remains of your defeated archenemies reduced to diamonds to encrust your throne with.
Those of us with thrones, I mean. And archenemies. And the will to mercilessly crush them.
Hmm... do my archenemies have to necessarily be dead first?
@9: No, you just need to ask them to hold still for a minute.
I always wanted my friends to leave small amounts of my ashes in the ashtrays of my favorite bars but the smoking ban ruined that. The ban did, however, help me quit smoking so I may have more time to consider an alternative.
this actually is a pretty cool idea, but wrap me in a sheet & bury me at schreiber's meadow on mt. baker.
That's just gross.
I can't decide if this is kind of sort of cool, or very, very weird.
#2 The Stranger is always coming up with new and exciting ways to hide the bodies. ;-)
Having been in the business of mercilessly crushing my archenemies for their impudence for more years than I can count, let me just say I have breifly -- briefly -- considered slowly compacting their writhing, struggling bodies into diamonds while they begged and pleaded in the face of my heartless laughter.
But you know what? I've been there and done that and the same god damn thing always happens. Whether you're slowly lowering your impudent archenemy's writhing, struggling body into a pool or pit of hungry sharks or snakes or what have you, or slowly bearing down upon their writhing, struggling bodies with a laser beam or spinning saw blade or what have you.
You can only stand their heartlessly laughing for so long before you have to pee. Or the damn phone rings. Or you bumbling minions once again fail you and once again you have to do everything yourself.
And then? The second your back is turned? ...Well, you know the rest.
Nope. My Great Hall didn't get lined with skulls because I never learn. Now I'm all business: taunt them with a horrific vision of spending eternity decorating the old throne of power, then order a trusted servant to take care of them right then and there.
I'm having the skulls made into a nice bracelet, by the way. It's gotten quite cluttered around here and anyway I'm thinking of moving to a condo.
"A diamond that takes millions of years to occur", is incorrect. A diamond is formed in seconds during the erruption of a kimberlite at depths greater than 35km. Only in these conditions is it possible for the coniguration of the carbon go from sigma and pi bonds to all sigma bonds, thereby forming the hardest substance known to man. Lastly, nothing takes millions of years "to occur". LTM
LifeGem was always a contender for what I wanted to happen to my remains, but diamonds are too flammable. Now I want to be fossilized so as to benefit future archaeologists. Pray God they be cephalopods.
I wanna make a diamond out of Brendans Mustachio!!!!
The only better thing to do with cremains is to pack them into fireworks and blow the shit up. "You can do that, you know."
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