Slog News & Arts

Line Out

Music & Nightlife

« Coming Soon to Suyama Space | Thank You Note from Ken Vincen... »

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Chewed

posted by on August 21 at 10:12 AM

Ladies and gentlemen, introducing the Michael Vick Dog Chew Toy:

vickschewtoy2.jpg

Is it different you ask? You bet it is! Vick’s Dog Chew Toy is made of state of the art “dog” material. The Vick’s Toy Doll is so strong and flexible, it will challenge every breed. Especially The Pit Bull.

Unlike other toys, our manufacturer is so sure of its durability they guarantee it against the most playful dog destruction. It Bends. It Bounces. It Flies. It Floats. And best of all, it lasts through the whole season and more!

Wondering what the National Review has to say about our pit-bull whisperer? Of course you are!

It would have been so much better if Michael Vick had risked and lost it all for just about anything else. There might have been a novel/movie/television series in it. Once upon a time, he would have done it for the love of a woman… But Vick threw it all away for dogfighting.

RSS icon Comments

1

at least vick is smart enough to listen to his lawyers. admit it, do the time, pay the fine - the details don't get aired, the NFL & your PR firm can begin designing your rehabilitation.

coming to your atlanta hawks in 2009! born-again animal shelter volunteer michael vick!

although, by 09, he'll be too old for the NFL! can we trade the seahawks to okie city & keep the sonics?

Posted by maxsolomon | August 21, 2007 10:59 AM
2

Vick will repent his sins, say he has accepted Jesus as his lord and savior, and will be set for life as a right-wing pundit on Pox News.

Posted by ivan | August 21, 2007 11:22 AM
3

It's gonna take one hell of an image maker for that happy ending. The man has to admit that he executed dogs. Jesus works for infidelity and alcoholism, but killing puppies? Good luck, Ookie.

Posted by Jason Josephes | August 21, 2007 12:28 PM
4

If Michael Vick is ever allowed to play in the NFL again, I will be at Quest Field protesting his appearance in Seattle.

Posted by crazycatguy | August 21, 2007 12:41 PM
5


Because poodles can't tap out

Posted by jackseattle | August 21, 2007 12:51 PM
6

Lock him in a room with 3 or 4 extremely hungry pits for a couple hours then "put him down" if he doesn't perform well.

Posted by monkey | August 21, 2007 1:14 PM
7

QBs dont hit their prime until after their 30th birthday.

that being said, a year in prison, a year suspended from the league, is 2 years of experience this guy needs.

Posted by Bellevue Ave | August 21, 2007 1:28 PM
8

fsupwa tdzefo argp nkaoju vupec ayxpkz zuoj

Posted by svzrkmxw qyxwtp | August 28, 2007 5:02 AM
9

cpuqazwy yrgsad jbdye cyoj zfmgyqjak hbpfvcm wlfsvhiua http://www.sqetfy.dvzbswelu.com

Posted by xnckwi gwaebqu | August 28, 2007 5:03 AM

Comments Closed

In order to combat spam, we are no longer accepting comments on this post (or any post more than 14 days old).