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Tuesday, August 7, 2007

Baby Dumbfuck

posted by on August 7 at 12:32 PM

That’s unfair, I guess. It’s dumbfuck parents that are to blame. New research shows that plopping your very young children in front of a television—even if you’re showing “educational” or “developmental” videos—makes your kid dumber, not smarter.

Parents hoping to raise baby Einsteins by using infant educational videos are actually creating baby Homer Simpsons, according to a new study released today.

For every hour a day that babies 8 to 16 months old were shown such popular series as “Brainy Baby” or “Baby Einstein,” they knew six to eight fewer words than other children, the study found. Parents aiming to put their babies on the fast track, even if they are still working on walking, each year buy hundreds of millions of dollars’ worth of the videos.

Unfortunately it’s all money down the tubes, according to Dr. Dimitri Christakis, a professor of pediatrics at the University of Washington in Seattle.

The company maintains that the videos are so educational, so long as parents watch ‘em with their kids. Which parents don’t do, of course, because the videos are crushingly dull. Says Dr. Christakis…

“I would rather babies watch ‘American Idol’ than these videos,” Christakis said, explaining that there is at least a chance their parents would watch with them which does have developmental benefits.

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I grew up in a household where tv was a substitute for religion. I never had much of a problem with tv watching, until recently. Now when I watch I feel like I am being programed. It's one thing if it's a show you really like, but most of the time it's just on out of habit.

I heard Rosie O'Donnel say this on the View once: that she doesn't let her kids watch tv, and when it comes time for birthdays or holidays where presents are exchanged, her kids NEVER KNOW WHAT THEY WANT. She has to beat something out of them. I thought, "Ok, I'm definitely doing that when I have kids." And tivoing the stuff I want to watch when they go to bed.

Posted by Dianna | August 7, 2007 12:53 PM

I'm sending that article to every parent I know.

Posted by Carollani | August 7, 2007 1:00 PM

I wachted thez videoz and I turnd out ok.

Posted by Michigan Matt | August 7, 2007 1:05 PM
Posted by NapoleonXIV | August 7, 2007 1:44 PM

tv is great if you want the toddlers to leave you alone for half a fucking second so you can take a shit or smoke some crack. their vocabulary is not going to be hurt by watching a half hour of curious george.

rosie has a nanny, so fuck her.

Posted by maxsolomon | August 7, 2007 1:48 PM

This is only new in this country. In the UK, I worked for a doctor that pretty much parroted everything said here, but years ago. Also, letting your children watch TV before the age of 3 has been linked to ADD.

Posted by Kat | August 7, 2007 1:57 PM


Still fuck Rosie O'Donnel, she has a nannie.

I guess if we trusted children to play outside, that would solve a lot the problem.

Posted by OR Matt | August 7, 2007 2:22 PM

Then one day you realize that your child speaks fluent "Teletubby" and can't communicate with you....

Posted by Colton | August 7, 2007 3:12 PM

Score! This means that when I have kids, I won't have to endure Baby Einstein videos and can just have my kids watch Passions with me. It's like that scientist gave me permission.

Posted by Gitai | August 7, 2007 3:12 PM

that babybush site is fucking hilarious!

thansk for sharing!

Posted by K X One | August 7, 2007 3:27 PM

DUDE, I'm so telling everyone. I just moved to NM where EVERYone I know has a fucking kid here. They ALL watch the baby einstein vid's and leave their kids alone to watch them. The tv is on all the time. These poor babies are not even a year old yet. Scary!

They probably wont listen to me, since I'm not "a parent".

Posted by catnextdoor in abq | August 7, 2007 4:37 PM

"This is only new in this country. "

It's not even new here. This same type of result has been seen before; it was a hot topic on the political blogs around the time that Bush invited the BabyEinstein lady to serve as window dressing for some occasion or other a year or two back.

Posted by Bison | August 7, 2007 5:40 PM

@11 As someone who fled form New Mexico to Seattle, I extend to you my condolences.

Posted by Gitai | August 7, 2007 7:14 PM

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