Slog News & Arts

Line Out

Music & Nightlife

« 12th Ave & E. Jefferson | Nightlife License Resurrected? »

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Look Out, Savage Love

posted by on July 19 at 17:50 PM

Self-proclaimed “thug misses” Khia—last heard singing “My Neck, My Back (Lick It)” (“Then you roll your tongue, from the crack back to the front/ then suck it off til I shake and cum nigga/ make sure I keep bustin nuts nigga”)—has an advice column for Hood Magazine, where she’ll answer your “qestions” about love, sex, and relationships.

Here’s the first question, with Khia’s response.

Khia I got a serious situation going on, I be with this girl from time to time, well I be fucking this girl sometimes, we don’t do nothing but fuck, we don’t talk, we don’t go out, we just fuck. When we first started fucking she told me she was on the shot and was trying to get me to hit her raw but I never would. Then we started using her condoms all the time and now she saying she pregnant. I really think she poked holes in the condoms or something because I never slipped not once. What should I do? -Fucked up in the HooD

What’s really HooD Fucked up in the HooD? Shit, I guess we all get fucked up in the HooD from time to time but shit what did you get yourself into? You know damn well not to hit no HooD trick raw, butt naked, or any other bitch at that, cause a real bitch would pack her own protection shot. There’s so much shit to catch out here so this sounds like a set up to me. Do you know of her fucking any other niggas you know, the streets don’t lie. Now you already knnow if your dealing with a lady or a tramp so a blood test is needed ASAP before you do any claiming. In the mean time be a loyal nigga and a friend and be there for her and the child, hell you was hitting it, and if it comes back not yours you’ll look like a real ass nigga who stepped up to the plate and she’ll look like a nasty whore that needs Muarry [ECB: Maury?] to find her REAL baby daddy… You Are Not The Father!!!!!!!!Hello

Watch your back, Savage. There’s a new hot mess in town.


(Via DListed)

RSS icon Comments


Maury Povich

Posted by Kate | July 19, 2007 5:57 PM

My brain hurts.

Posted by Megan | July 19, 2007 6:23 PM

Me too, Megan, me too.

Posted by monkey | July 19, 2007 6:44 PM

Sigh. I'm waiting for the predictable outrage about youth slang. No doubt you deds and damas will horn oozhassny chepooka about the young lewdies govoreeting in a way they don't pony til I get an ache in me gulliver, but just remember, your parents messled you govoreeted strangely too.

Posted by Gitai | July 19, 2007 6:57 PM

Dan's got a better lower-back tattoo, doesn't he?

Posted by Michigan Matt | July 19, 2007 7:11 PM

I could give a rat's ass how she talks; what amuses me is the lack of outrage over the advice of asking around town to see how much a girl screw in order to determine her character.

Posted by torrentprime | July 19, 2007 7:25 PM

Unlike so many hip hop acts, Khia is for real, with criminal record and all. For me, knowing this makes her new advice column even better.

Posted by U-District Dweller | July 19, 2007 7:42 PM

I wonder if she thinks all women derive no pleasure from giving head? That's how you know the real sex columnists. Ya know, the ones who know the facts.

Posted by juan | July 19, 2007 7:42 PM

Gitai - straight from Clockwork Orange, no?

Posted by Sachi | July 19, 2007 8:03 PM

@9 Yeah. I had to look a bunch up. It was between that and Polari, and since all the Polari vocab I could find was more appropriate for dishing about boys, I went with Nadsat.

Posted by Gitai | July 19, 2007 8:53 PM

"Now you already knnow if your dealing with a lady or a tramp so a blood test is needed ASAP before you do any claiming."

Pretty sure it's tramp.

Posted by Matt | July 19, 2007 9:30 PM

I welcome a little competition for Dan. There are dozens of regular advice columnists; surely there's room for more than one sex advice columnist. More people talking honestly about sex can only be a good thing, right? Except of course it would help if they actually gave good understandable advice.

I don't think Dan has a whole lot to worry about.

PS: I don't really care about the slang. If that's her audience, and they're into it, that's fine. But her advice, even in the Queen's English, is still crap.

Posted by SDA in SEA | July 19, 2007 10:10 PM

For your entertainment:

Dan's voter fraud conviction looks pretty wussy by comparison.

Posted by tsm | July 19, 2007 10:10 PM

Call the Cops When U See Khia
Grab Yo Man When U See Khia ...

Posted by Jean-Genet Ramsey | July 19, 2007 10:13 PM

you can't be a doctor with that kind of crap coming out of your mouth

Posted by karst | July 20, 2007 1:13 AM


Now we are back to this shit?

Come on guys, seriously. Why is it so freaking important to make fun and ridicule black culture. This is just more typical seattle namby pamby passive aggression.

Look, sub-conscious racism is so pervasive in our society, why is it that the "enlightened" writers for the stranger don't accept it? It isn't rocket science. Until we quit making fun at people and cultures that are different from ourselves, we will never reach full equalty.

I don't like hip hop anymore than the rest of you, but we don't need to make black people, how they talk, write, what they listen too, etc. the but of jokes. It isn't funny and just perpetuates poverty and racism and hate.

Posted by ecce homo | July 20, 2007 1:43 AM

So ecce, you're saying they're only making fun of it because she's black? Yeah, "they're" the racists.

Posted by PdxRitchie | July 20, 2007 3:12 AM

PdxRitchie - don't be an ass. If you are going to respond to an actual comment, do so with an actual comment. Not just a stupid one liner.

What exactly would be your answer to the question? Anyone? In typical Seattle/Stranger fashion I hear allot of ridicule and what not to do, but nothing constructive.

If it was me I'd do the same damn thing. Be responsible, get it tested afterwards. The streets don't lie stuff is crazy though.

Posted by Ryan | July 20, 2007 7:04 AM

Who needs Docta Roof whens you got dis shiz! Holla!

Posted by yeah boy | July 20, 2007 8:16 AM

what i find interesting is that "they" wrote this out in black slang (i'm not buying that the original letter is for real) - i'd understand if it was purported to be a "transcript". regardless, this is the exact sort of thing mark twain did in huckleberry finn, which, i believe, is now frowned upon.

Posted by maxsolomon | July 20, 2007 8:31 AM


There is no point in responding to e**e's hypocritical bullshit. He's shown more racism than any person here on slog. From making fun of starving black children to blatantly mocking African culture. He does this all while claiming/defending that he is not racist, only to turn around and say the same shit is racist (when it isn't coming out of his mouth).

Posted by Mr. Poe | July 20, 2007 8:48 AM

I'd be tempted to like her, especially with that photo (yowza!), but - particularly in the mugshots - she reminds me of my sister. My sister is pure evil. A smiling, dead-eyed sociopath. Yuck.

Posted by christopher | July 20, 2007 9:36 AM

Uh...guys? Advising a guy to go asking around about a woman to determine if she's a "nasty whore" is stupid. And stupid is stupid. Doesn't matter if it comes out of a black mouth or a white mouth. Are you saying stupidity is a part of black culture? Because THAT would actually be, well...racist.

Having said that, I do think the rest of her advice is solid.

Posted by Matthew | July 20, 2007 9:43 AM

as a black man who speaks good english and has a fairly large dick, i hate this shit. whites call their trash "white trash." i call these asses "black trash."

Posted by frederick r | July 20, 2007 10:20 AM

Entertaining, and worth reading if the letters are varied and not the same old "I just knocked some bitch up" every time.

And some of you need to stop with the "don't ask around about her" stuff. You've got to be kidding me. You hook up with someone, things get weird and you DON'T ask around to find out if anybody in your circle/school/dorm/frat/sorority/neighborhood/whatever has had the same experience/problems with the person?

Please. Hypocrites.

Posted by abracapocus | July 20, 2007 10:20 AM

There is a word for #24: Self hating black man. You won't stand up for the brothers and sisters that are getting smacked down by cowardly little children with anus obsession's, like Mr. Poe. That tells me alot.

And Poe, you started the name calling, so here ya go. You just think that you should be able to insult every ethnic stereotype that there is because you think you are witty. I encourage you to go down to Ranier Valley and spread some of your wit to the folks down there and see how fast it takes to get a cap popped in your ass. You may think twice about being a KKK, cross burning, gay bashing, hood wearing, POS. Just because you call yourself a "Liberal" don't mean shit. I means that like many liberals, your just as much a bigot but completely incapable of seeing it in yourself. There is a reason that the Democrats are the party of slavery. You are part of that.

For once in you life, leave the blacks alone. I suspect that you are also a minority, so I am not sure why you are so nasty. I would encourage you to seek out some sort of help - sensetivity training or something.

Posted by ecce homo | July 20, 2007 10:58 AM

ecce, you'd be a more convincing troll if you showed at least the most superficial sort of consistency in your posting.

Posted by tsm | July 20, 2007 11:01 AM

I am completely consistant. Just because you can't understand the points I make doesn't make them less valid.

In fact, just because you are ignorant, you shouldn't even be posting.

Posted by ecce homo | July 20, 2007 11:04 AM

Unless "knnow" and "your" (instead of "you're") are SLANG, I feel completely fine criticizing this for looking idiotic. This was published in an actual magazine? Or is it just online? Because we all know that online stuff doesn't count as reality in any case.

Posted by Detroit | July 20, 2007 11:09 AM

I just in case no one is reading this still, I bet she cashed her welfare check to buy that outfit...(stranger humour)

Posted by ecce homo | July 20, 2007 11:54 AM


E**e, everything you just said is worthless, because you cannot back up a single sentence. At all.

The most amazing thing about you is your ability to completely ignore reality and make everything up to side with your rebuttal. And by amazing, I mean it's amazing that you're such a fucking moron.

"You may think twice about being a KKK, cross burning, gay bashing, hood wearing, POS."

Oh my God, where do you come up with this shit?

As for thinking twice about anything, I would not think twice about kicking your ass.

Posted by Mr. Poe | July 20, 2007 12:55 PM

Is that a threat 'poe'?

Posted by ecce homo | July 20, 2007 1:15 PM

Ryan - don't be an idiot. It's ecce and I don't have to put much thought into responding to him. Anyways, it was a pretty spot on response, I don't know what your problem is. Btw, it was a two-liner.

Posted by PdxRitchie | July 20, 2007 2:03 PM

Comments Closed

In order to combat spam, we are no longer accepting comments on this post (or any post more than 14 days old).