History Get to Know Your Doomed Sidekicks
posted by July 18 at 11:50 AMon
Name: LTJG Nick Bradshaw
Occupation: F-14 RIO (Radar Intercept Officer).
Hobbies: Piano playing/singing.
Significant Other(s): Carole Bradshaw (wife); LT Pete “Maverick” Mitchell (other)
Notable Quip: “No, boys. There’s two ‘O’s in Goose.”
Dialogue Doubling as Ominous Prediction: “The defense department regrets to inform you that your sons are dead because they were stupid.”
Cause of Utterly Predictable Yet Untimely Death: Ejection from F-14 trapped in horizontal (or “flat”) spin; cracked coconut on canopy. (See video, below.)
Immediate Effects of Untimely Death Upon Star Lead: Moody reflection, struggles with self-doubt, unconscionable spurning of Kelly McGillis sexual advances.
Remedy for Effects of Untimely Death Upon Star Lead: Man-up speech delivered by respected higher-ranking officer, blasting of commies back to the Stone Age.
Overall Doomed Sidekick Rating Based on 1-10 Scale: 8.