Slog News & Arts

Line Out

Music & Nightlife

« Albert Ellis | Dept. of Unsubstantiated Rumor... »

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Drunk (First in a Series)

posted by on July 25 at 14:01 PM


Water Fountain outside gym on 2nd floor of Seattle Central Community College

Temperature: Colder than expected. But not cold enough. Score: 3
Stream: Medium, but leaning toward meek and low (had to press mouth against spout). Score: 3
Hum: Loud, strong rattle. Unfortunately, it’s deceptive: The boisterous encouragement turns out to be unrelated to the stream. Score: 5
Style: Mini-sink jutting from wall, steel basin, beige plastic front. Press-bar on front of fountain with hand print imprint. Generally, I like the hand print effect, but it only works if there’s some tension and spring in the press function. None here. Also, this fountain is drab looking. Score: 3
Brand: Howe ?
Comments: This fountain is located outside of a gym. This highlights the disappointing stats. Thankfully, though, the stream wasn’t quite as lifeless as most fountains of this style.
Final Score: 3.5 out of possible 10

RSS icon Comments


Charles should write a piece regarding what the hell he thinks clicked in your head to start reviewing water fountains. Frankly, I think it's the best damn post of the day.

Posted by Mr. Poe | July 25, 2007 2:07 PM

did you actually press your mouth to the spout? ewww...

Posted by douglas | July 25, 2007 2:09 PM

I second #2's comment.

Posted by Phelix | July 25, 2007 2:13 PM

too cold hurts the teeth of those of us with sensitive teeth! be sensitive--punny!--to this marginalized group, for life for us is a series of too-cold fountains and too-iced glasses!

Posted by not too cold, please | July 25, 2007 2:29 PM

I agree: not too cold, please. I do like a nice powerful stream, though.

There; a gift for all you out-of-context quoters.

Posted by Fnarf | July 25, 2007 2:34 PM

Back home we call that a bubbler.

Posted by heywhatsit | July 25, 2007 2:37 PM

Approximate H to O ratio: 2

Posted by Ziggity | July 25, 2007 2:49 PM

OH OHOOH...are you gonna I review the fountain on the Stranger's editorial floor?

Posted by nipper | July 25, 2007 2:51 PM

You put your mouth on it?!?!?!

Posted by Mark | July 25, 2007 2:57 PM

Note to self: Start writing extensive, pointless reviews of Charles' pretentious blog posts.

Posted by supergp | July 25, 2007 3:10 PM

Umm, pressing my mouth against the spout would automatically case a deduction of 30-40 points. that is just dag nasty. ick.

Posted by Brad | July 25, 2007 3:30 PM

Best water is in the Kootenays, in Kaslo BC.

Posted by Will in Seattle | July 25, 2007 3:58 PM

Great, but you misspelled "bubbler" as "water fountain."

Posted by MR. Language Person | July 25, 2007 6:51 PM

Will in Seattle: word up to the Kootenays.

Posted by em | July 25, 2007 7:24 PM

This is a brilliant idea for a series! Don't stop until you've rated every drinking fountain in Seattle.

Also, let it be noted that those with sensitive teeth are pathetic whiners. There is no such thing as a too cold water fountain. As long as the water hasn't frozen in the pipes, the colder, the better.

Posted by Cate | July 25, 2007 7:56 PM

Dude, I drink out of that fountain...
And you put your mouth on it.
Now I'm just gonna have to buy Powerade.
(I'm blaming you when I get diabetes.)

Posted by Justinius | July 26, 2007 1:00 AM

ropktwvdy rclzwgbh jnxqfvtbi tcksqrj ljwmx hemafuzr paque

Posted by thcuirdv jlzou | August 7, 2007 12:30 AM

vrlwom vwhg pbmhf fecown rihvfs cfwhtjegm ejao

Posted by aviefg omhs | August 7, 2007 12:31 AM

Comments Closed

In order to combat spam, we are no longer accepting comments on this post (or any post more than 14 days old).