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Thursday, June 28, 2007

Letter of the Day

posted by on June 28 at 11:03 AM

Typically, posting Letters of the Day is the job of web editor Amy Kate Horn, but since she’s the subject of today’s letter, I shall do the posting. Enjoy, and ew.

Dearest Ms. Horn: Pretend for a moment that I am your good mother who embraces you and supports you 100% for the person you are. In fact I do love you unconditionally and I am very proud of you for your kind email to me today.

Honey, don’t you think that after the big splash your editor made with the “Stranger Gets Religion” that it would be a fabulous idea to make an equally colorful retraction for Christian Faith Center?

Pastor Casey Treat is no Jerry Falwell, my dear. In fact, if you research it, I believe you will find that Falwell’s college has been accused of discriminating against Pentecostal/Charismatics — the type of church Christian Faith Center is. The Baptists are at odds with Pentecostals. I don’t think I am wrong about this.

I have heard Pastor Treat say he wants Gay men and Lesbians to attend his church. Maybe he thinks he can “heal” you. LoL. So do Scientologists, *twinkles* The position of my Catholic Faith is that we are all called to Holiness. Being a heterosexual married to the same person for a lifetime is not easy. We get just as lonely sexually as anyone else. If you are not Catholic or a Christian, we do not hold you to our same standards.

Gay marriage is only a concern if our churches are forced by law to perform this sacrament on people who are not prepared for life long commitment to a person of the opposite sex. I know that seems unfair. But we only ask that our religion be allowed to flourish without government interference, just as Gay men and Lesbians want to be allowed to flourish without government interference in their life choices.

Please do no be offended, my sweet daughter. I love you. Please be at peace and ask your editor to have the courage to do the right thing. I know, I know, your readers might be bored. But your paper is too popular to lose its vast readership over one mea culpa well done with splash and your usual panache.

All my affection, Pro-life Catholic Mother

I need a shower. *twinkles*

RSS icon Comments


I don't want a pro-life mom-friend! I already have a good mother who embraces me and supports me 100% for the person I am—and she would never say *twinkles*!!

Also: "Being a heterosexual married to the same person for a lifetime is not easy." No, shit, really? I'm approaching my nine-year anniversary.

Can I get Casey Treat to be my pretend houseboy?

Posted by Amy Kate Horn | June 28, 2007 11:18 AM

Ew, I want a shower too.

Posted by stiletto | June 28, 2007 11:23 AM

What the fuck? This is the reason I don't go to church, and think that organized religion is creepy as hell.
“We get just as lonely sexually as anyone else.”
Sounds like someone should be writing to Savage Love, not Horn.

Posted by Thom | June 28, 2007 11:24 AM

Um, my mom (who had five kids) is pro-choice.

I think I'll listen to her, bitter pro-"life" mom ..., instead of you.

At least with her respecting people didn't end at birth.

Posted by Will in Seattle | June 28, 2007 11:24 AM

The real scary part is that she thinks if gay marriage were made legal, the government would "force" her church to sanctify such marriages. If we could get these "moderate" Christians to realize how ludicrous this is, maybe we'd have a shot at some sane laws around here.

Posted by Tone | June 28, 2007 11:34 AM

"If you are not Catholic or a Christian, we do not hold you to our same standards."

"But we only ask that our religion be allowed to flourish without government interference, just as Gay men and Lesbians want to be allowed to flourish without government interference in their life choices."

Apparently telling the truth isn't one of their standards.

Posted by dirge | June 28, 2007 11:39 AM

The problem is many of them (hi mom) doesn't care if the church isn't forced to sanctify such marriages, they just go against their beliefs and therefore must be stopped.

It's pretty sad. Amy, will your parents adopt me?

Posted by monkey | June 28, 2007 11:40 AM

So this guy is saying that gay marriage is only a problem if his church is forced to perform gay marriages. I don't think anyone has ever seriuosly suggested that that should happen. If gay marriage were made legal, it would only be the courts that would be forced to perform them.

So he's going to vote to legalize gay marriage, then?

Posted by j | June 28, 2007 11:53 AM

Monkey, I doubt it--I am trying to talk them into a dog that needs a foster home to no avail.

My real mom is a pro-choice, liberal Easter/Christmas Eve Catholic and I love her to death despite all the religious ed. classes she bribed me into as a kid. (Happy Birthday, Mom!)

Posted by Amy Kate Horn | June 28, 2007 11:53 AM

I can absolutely imagine what this creepy lady looks like when she *twinkles* and it makes me want to vomit.

Posted by Carollani | June 28, 2007 12:14 PM

Um, why would she be so concerned about The Stranger's circulation? Does she have some idea that Month of Sundays is going to drive readers away in droves? Has she actually read The Stranger?

Posted by Gitai | June 28, 2007 12:22 PM

If the government can't tax churches or make them comply with the Americans With Disabilities Act, why would they think that a law allowing gay marriage would make them perform the ceremony?

A Catholic couple can't wander into a synagogue and demand the rabbi perform a Catholic wedding. Churches always have a right to refuse service and can't be sued. It is such a stupid argument.

Posted by elswinger | June 28, 2007 12:24 PM

Oh Fuck, Hell, I think Churches should be forced at gun point to perform same sex marriages. And if they do not they should be shot!! I am feeling a little bit militant today!! GRRR!!!!

I am SO SICK of the whole lot of all the religious folks these days it just makes me puke. I have tried to be nice to them when they try to "save" my tight bottom boy ass but I just can not do it any more. It ended two weeks ago when the Mormon missionaries stopped at my door asking me if I wanted to hear about the message of Jesus Christ. I finally lost it; I told them no but I was interested in some hot three way action with them and are they interested in the joys of fisting? The ran off.....

Posted by Just Me | June 28, 2007 12:52 PM

*twinkles* is funnier than "Oh Hai!"

Posted by Katelyn | June 28, 2007 12:52 PM

Dear Mom,

Imagine for a moment I was your son. I was conceived (by you and Dad - thanks!) and born into a country that treasured freedom of religion - meaning the government can't mandate that the church recognize or perform marriages that go against their religious beliefs. Imagine, in fact, that in this country churches are free to do pretty much anything they want as long as it isn't patently illegal (hello human sacrifice! *twinkle*).

What happened in the intervening years that convinced you things had changed? Why have you come to believe that the legal recognition of same-sex marriages would require your church to acknowledge, much less perform, same-sex marriages? Did Casey Treat steal your brain? Have you been using Ted Haggard's meth?

I loves you, Mom, but please stop acting like a retarded junior-high dropout about our constitution and it's relation to your church.

All my affection, Pro-Choice Straight Gay-Supportive Son

Posted by Switzerblog | June 28, 2007 12:56 PM

She's right. My secret desire to have a bunch of hostile penecostals forced to join my parter & I in holy matrimony. Maybe afterwards we'll honeymoon in Zimbabwe or Iran.

Posted by DJSauvage | June 28, 2007 1:40 PM

Dearest Amy Kate,

You are hot.

Your pal,


Posted by Dylan | June 28, 2007 1:49 PM

What if we want our government without religious interference?

Posted by GW2 | June 28, 2007 1:49 PM

Dylan! That's more like a letter I'd like to receive!

Posted by Amy Kate Horn | June 28, 2007 2:11 PM

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