Comments on Highlights From Chuck Norris's Presidential Platform

good guys wear black

WAY too funny! I'm in, if he runs.

WAY too funny! He's got my vote, if he commits to these promises!

This looks a LOT like Joe Lieberman's platform. Except for the ninja teams.

Chuck Norris peaked in Good Guys Wear Black. I actually remember seeing it in a theater. I was awestruck watching him do a flying kick through the windshield of a moving car to kill the bad guy (I was about 16 at the time, I think).

Ever since then, it has been a downhill slide. I remember he tried the same kick-through-the-windshield stunt on Texas Ranger, and it came off as weak and pathetic. Now he is nothing more than a caricature of his former self, and a tool for the right wing. His politics are firmly aligned with the religious right.

I'd never vote for him, of course, but it would make the campaign a whole lot more fun if he actually ran.

Republicans sure do love their Hollywood actors.

The saddest thing of all is that he probably isn't joking...

I'm glad Chuck Norris has a sense of humor about this whole Chuck Norris Is God thing, and I'm not even being facetious.

Is it just me, or does he set off anybody else's gaydar?

Chuck can only be president if he promises never to sing the national anthem.

@6: I doubt he's joking. Particularly with the "in God we trust" bit.

Alleged Chuck Norris Fact: "Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer. Too bad he never cries. Ever."

There was a man whose tears could cure cancer or any other disease, including the real cause of all diseases – sin. His blood did. His name was Jesus, not Chuck Norris. If your soul needs healing, the prescription you need is not Chuck Norris' tears, it's Jesus' blood.

"If your soul needs healing, the prescription you need is not Chuck Norris' tears, it's Jesus' blood."

Chuck Norris wants me to exsanguinate Jesus Christ?

BD, It's just you. Back in the 1970s, it was trendy for guys to wear skin-tight pants, and shirts unbuttoned to the navel. If Chuck Norris is gay, he's the most straight-acting, repressed, closeted homo in all of human history.