Politics Highlights From Chuck Norris’s Presidential Platform
posted by June 11 at 10:13 AMon
Over at the website World Net Daily, Chuck Norris is musing about what he would do if we were elected president. Here are some of his better ideas:
• Require members of Congress to work out on the Total Gym 15 minutes each day—or else they can’t vote on anything.
• Resurrect Bruce Lee and appoint him head of homeland security (OK, the CIA and FBI too).
• Turn the Rose Garden into a new fighting ring for the World Combat League, in which liberals and conservatives will fight for legislative leadership and priority. (For fun, Saturday night fights will feature a recurring bout between Hannity and Colmes). “American Idol” already told me they will provide the entertainment.
• Increase jobs in America by sending ninja teams to sabotage and steal them back from other countries.
• Tattoo an American flag with the words, “In God we trust,” on the forehead of every atheist.
• Resolve the Iraq war by bringing all of our military personnel home immediately, then going over there by myself for “martial arts negotiations.”
• Expose the real WMDs – my fists and feet.
• Personally smoke out bin Laden by myself and round-house kick him all the way back to America, where my United Fighting Arts Federation will handle the justice issues.
Chuck Norris ’08!