Man, Cienna, you've had some bad luck w/r/t possessions being stolen.
Not sure if you remember me, but I’m the event staffer who helped you find your purse. I was the tall guy with a walkie-talkie, paunchy mid-section, sculpted beard, and glasses thick enough to fit in the sports protection category. I just wanted to say thanks for the big, wet one that you laid on me when I gave you the good news/receptacle. It’s always nice when you don’t have to pay.
Oh, and cheers for not freaking out when I touched your boob. I almost didn’t go for it, but I figured you for a floozer who wouldn’t mind.
It’s always shitty when bad things happen to generous people. Hope you get everything back!
Whatever. It's all replaceable (whereas the purse was not, so I'm thankful it was recovered), just very irksome.
I mean, who the fuck attends a party to steal young women's cell phone batteries and bus passes? Are people that hard up?
Uh, if I were investigating this, I'd assume that Mr. Helfpul Staffer/Boob Grabber is the culprit. How convenient that he found the purse for you, got a big wet kiss and copped a feel.
Not to be cynical or anything.
There can be nothing bad said about the boob-grabbing bouncer. To confirm the whereabouts of Cienna's purse, he had to use his walkie-talkie to call the lost and found—it wasn't just some immediate reveal from his back pocket.
As for the boob-grabbing, Cienna was totally asking for it. One minute I see her walking over the ask the bouncer about the possibility of a lost-and-found, the next I see her straddling him with joy and smothering him with smooches. Really, if anyone should be considering pressing charges, it's Mr. Friendly Bouncer....
True enough. That 7-foot security guard was my hero. In fact, he came to the rescue while my boyfriend stood aside and failed me.
Do you hear me Preston? FAILED ME. Failed me so hard I was forced to vomit on myself. The disappointment was staggering.
I am dumping you AND your thousand-and-one cats unless you find me a motherfucking bus pass, STAT.
Did you just say you vomited on YOURSELF? *ahem*
I just learned far more about cienna madrid than I wanted to.
Thanks again for not puking in the car, by the way. I was expecting to have to hit the back seat with a little windex or febreeze or something, but, no. You're the ninja of puke.
You people crack me up.
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