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Friday, September 8, 2006

Brad & Angelina Fight the Good Fight

Posted by on September 8 at 14:11 PM

Not only are they freakishly beautiful, they’re brilliantly evolved: According an interview in the forthcoming Esquire, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie won’t be getting married until the United States’ marriage laws aren’t riddled with bigotry.

“Angie and I will consider tying the knot when everyone else in the country who wants to be married is legally able,” says Pitt in an Esquire profile hitting newsstands on Sept. 19.

I understand, deeply, the urge to mock everything celebrities do forever, but this is huge. They’re two of the biggest movie stars in the world, and they’re willingly bringing the battle over gay marriage into their own hyper-privileged, heterosexual lives. This is celebrity deployed for as good a purpose as any, and I love them for it.

Full Breitbart story here.

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cool. of course, they could easily get married in Canada or most of the EU.

I would just call them freakish period. Big deal, so they don't wanna get married like a zillion other couples famous and otherwise. Drama king and queen. They still have enough box office clout that such a "stand" would have little or no effect on their careers.

NEO @ 2, I think you're wrong. This is a gutsy move that very well could effect their careers. Take Mel Gibson... after "Passion of the Christ" and his latest anti-semitic remarks, I will be loath to ever go to anther of his films, even though I've liked many of his past films. I suspect there will be plenty of right-wing types who will likewise avoid seeing films with Pitt and/or Jolie. No doubt angry emails are already flying around the Focus on the Family list, urging their members to boycott Pitt/Jolie movies.

Sure, they are both well-off enough that they can afford to take the hit. Nevertheless, it is not an irrelevant stand. Their agents probably shit bricks. If it effects how audiences react, it will effect their bankability as stars. This statement won't kill their careers. But it could cost them periodic roles, or could reduce their (admittedly exorbitant) salaries for roles they do get.

So thanks Brad and Angelina.

Can I please still hate Brad Pitt for what he did to Jen? Sure, now I don't loathe him. But can I at least still hate him?

The've both already been married...It's fairly obvious that their not getting married has more to do with their own personal issues. At this point it's just habit for them to claim absolutely everything they do stands for some bigger social issue. I'd much rather this came from someone from someone whom I might be able be convinced that it actually meant something. Still...I guess it is mildly cool to here that postion get some notice. I've been saying that to my family and friends for 5 years, but I don't think they think I'm serious...

It confirms my theory that well-hung men have nothing to prove and are cool with taking stands like this.

I propose that all Republican men be given penis-enhancement therapy at government expense. We'll still have to deal with their junior high locker room issues, but at least having a man-sized pecker might make them more bearable and less likely to pry into other people's lives. Certainly their wives would be happier.

Dear Large Penises...
I proudly have both a small dick and don't mess with other people's rights. I'm also not a Republican.
I'm sure having a small dick might drive some guys to be jerks but that's because of people like you.
One giant plus about having a lil weiner is that I never have to have sex with jerks like you. I truly feel sorry for the well-hung men in your life.

Ah, but shaderhousein, you misunderestimate me: Not all small-dicked men are jerks, but all jerkiness can be traced back to small dicks. Even big dicked jerks are the way they are due to some small-dicked jerk ingratiating himself for companionship and/or idolatry.

But that is not to say that all small-dicked men are so insecure! It's mostly just a GOP phenomina, having to do with their tendency towards same-sex schools, where this sort of thing is much more likely to be obsessed upon.

Celebrate your smallness, if you like. I stand in solidarity with you!

What exactly constitutes a small dick? I've had big and I've had small, and given the right attitude and a certain willingness to please, it matters not.

I think it's great that they're taking the stand and putting a glamorous face on it. And while I really don't care that much about Jen, I have to wonder how this sudden change in approach to marriage makes the women feel. Either it's a good excuse to avoid marrying Angelina, or Jen realizes that Brad's developed a social conscience after they split.

In a completely unrelated note, I saw HUMP! last night and saw the biggest cock this side of Long Dong Silver. That is a Washington Monument cock, and should have an elevator and observation deck.

AHEM... bravo to Brangelina for this decision, assuming they don't crack in six months or break up anyway (I would hope NOT), and I'd love to see more of the same from couples, instead of men appeasing women's matrimony-chasing.

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