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Thursday, August 24, 2006

Who’s Drunkest?

Posted by on August 24 at 15:44 PM

It is clearly time for the world’s biggest drinking game: Milwaukee versus Scotland.

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Sorry, guys, Milwaukee doesn't stand a chance. They haven't got a leg to stand on, or won't after the Scots are barely warmed up. The lads in tartan will be just getting ready to go out for a few after they've dropped the Brew Crew under the table. Really, it's not even close.

I agree with Fnarf. I've lived in Wisconsin, and I've been to Scotland a half a dozen times.

Little old Scottish ladies can outdrink great big Packers fans.

Oh, and the Aussies can take the Scots too. In the Northern Territory it's not uncommon to describe driving distances in terms of tinnies of beer -- "oh, that's only a six-pack away". Many places are a case or more away. And that's DRIVING. Read Tony Horwitz's "One For The Road".

Put it this way: if your normal, non-competitive night's consumption stops before, say, eighteen drinks, meaning glasses of wine, pints of beer, or stiff cocktails, then you shouldn't even bother showing up, because that's just where the Scots and the Aussies start hitting their stride.

I'm with you guys - heck, even we of Irish extraction bow down before the awesome consumptive might of our Scottish brethren.

There is no way in hell the Scots drink more than the Northern Irish. Hell No! Belfast is drunk 80% of the time when not rioting, and then when theyre hungover they grab a ferry to Scotland and riot during Celtic-Ranger matches. I bet 20% of the people partying in Glasgow are from Ulster.

To recover from their New Year’s Eve hangovers, in Scotland both January 1 AND January 2 are holidays.

I remember when we used to have fun, back when I was taking Anthropology at Selkirk College, and would come down on field trips to WA and drink the rough tough yanks under the table. It was hilarious. We were used to 6.5 to 7.0 percent alcoholic beer and cider back then, and the poor WSU students only had watered down beer.

Man, that was FUN! So, I'm going to vote for the Scots, even if my sister lives in Wisconsin.

Oh, I vote for who's drunkest: Mike McGavick.

Turns out he's admitting on the Times blog that he's not just a Liar, he's also a DUI drunk.

And hates puppies.

I am sorry to report to you all
that you are all mistaken. The
Scots, Aussies or citizens of
the great state of Wisconsin
come up short when compared to
the Danish or the people of
Iceland. You really must admire
people who begin their day
with a breakfast of kippers and
beer. Yummie!


Sheesh. Wasn't Iceland entirely dry until a few years ago? The Danes I'll believe, maybe. But I think the Swedes can outdrink them. They're certainly champions at mixing their poisons, throwing down aquavit, whiskey, beer, wine, Jäger, whatever, with wild abandon.

Now that I think of it, I'm going to have to change my vote to the Russians. Until you've seen three guys empty a vodka bottle in three equal pulls in under a minute, or watched a fellow finishing off a hard night with one last nightcap of aftershave, you haven't seen real drinking.

Seeing as how the people of wisconsin are largely western european its really like asking which is the better drunk, great-great-great grand kid a or great-great-great grand kid b. its all the same genes. though I have to say I'll stick with my roots any day; maybe milwaukee can't get its drink on, but NE wisconsin will give you a run for your money any day. And we don't drink weak beer. ;)

Fnarf, you are correct. The Russians win the prize. Nobody is capable of holding a candle next to them....the fumes will ignite.


P.S. I was incorrect. The Icelandics are pikers. Sorry for posting misinformation. J.I.

I declare that I'm the drunkest.

It's easy to see why the Scots would win: they love the hard liquor while Milwaukee focuses on beer. The alcohol content of each drink alone seals the deal.

I'm with the Rooskies on this one. Sure the Scots drink hard stuff, but it's good. Until you've actually drunk Russian vodka at about two bucks a gallon out of a plastic jug you really can't comprehend their intestinal fortitude...and when ya run outta vodka, there's always straight alcohol strained thru a loaf a bread...

Oh man, Gnossos, you just reminded me of the Yugoslavians I used to live next door to up in Greenwood - dozens of plastic milk jugs lying around their living room full of home distilled "plum brandy" that smelled like kerosene and tasted like - well, like vaguely plum-flavored kerosene.

I have no idea what the proof or AV% of that stuff was, but they drank it like water. I'm amazed I still have both my eyesight, and a functioning liver...

If measured by the amount of vomit on the sidewalks in the morning, Scots beat anyone. Dublin's sidewalks are pretty bad too, though.

Scots mostly drink beer. Whisky isn't a riotous party beverage, it's a sipper. And a twenty-ounce pint of strong beer has considerably more alcohol in it than a miserly whiskey shot in any UK bar -- 1/6 of a gill, which is considerably less than an ounce and is strictly regulated and measured out -- no sloppy bartender pours. But Russia wins.

I was recently reading about early Sydney, Australia, when the streets were littered with men passed out on the streets, waking occasionally to ladle some more rum out of an open bucket near them. Even Americans used to be able to sock it away much more than they do today: a pint of rum was considered standard working-man's rations, and men would walk off the job if they didn't get it. Rum for breakfast!

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