OH, BOY. I’m already regretting this post. The following news has such a potential to ruin peoples’ lives, I am EXTREMELY reluctant to even share it with you—BUT WHAT THE HEY! You’re going to find out anyway, and it’s better if it comes from me, right?
The new PORNO VERSION of YouTube is now LIVE. All free porno, all different kinds of porno, all porno, all the time.
NOW A FEW RULES.
Pleaaaaaase wait until you get home to start exploring this site. (ESPECIALLY YOU, STRANGER EMPLOYEES! We run a loose ship around here, but don’t let me walk into your cubicle and catch you laughing at bukakke videos, or diddling your fiddles.)
And pleaaaaaase, don’t get addicted to this! You have a life outside pornography, and becoming a porn addict is gross and will only get you in trouble with your loved ones. Limit all free porno watching to ten minutes per day (just enough time to get the job done). For me, that would be three minutes.
And since you’ll be getting your porno for free now, pleeeeeeeease start experimenting a little more! If you’re straight, give gay porn a try! Or spanking porn! Or Indian leg wrestling porn!
YOU KNOW THE GOVERNMENT IS GOING TO SHUT THIS DOWN IN ABOUT TEN SECONDS, so experiment NOW while you have the chance!! Except Stranger employees who should GET BACK TO WORK. NOW.

P.S. The deadline for The Stranger’s porno contest HUMP is Monday, August 21 at 5 pm! So… stop watching porno YouTube and start MAKING porno YouTube!

I said… “GET BACK TO WORK!!!”