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Monday, August 21, 2006

Monday Morning Sports Report

Posted by on August 21 at 8:13 AM

Seattle Mariners: 11 losses in a row. Ouch. Still, U.S.S. Mariner finds a silver lining.

Seattle Seahawks: The good news is they beat the Colts. The bad news is it’s still the preseason. The best news is there were no major injuries.

Seattle Storm: Dropped game two against the L.A. Sparks. Plus, Sue Bird took a nasty elbow to her honker, may miss game 3.

New York Yankees: Owning the Boston Red Sox.

Tiger Woods: Shot a 4-under par 68 at Medinah to capture his twelfth major title at the age of 30.

Bradley Steinbacher: Shot a 34-over par 106 at Jefferson Municipal to capture nothing but shame at the age of 32.

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106-34=72, and 72/18=4, with an approx. distribution of par 5s and 3s, get something like 5 par3s, 8 par4s, 5 par5s, adding 5,3->(8) / 8,4->(12) / 5,5->(10) for a grand total of (30)obviously a "3" in numerology, i think, Bradley (you may want to switch to something snappier like Phil, Jack or Payne) that you've captured much more than shame you give yourself credit for.

And in the (sad? I say NOT!) world of electronic sportsmanship, Madden 07 Football is a mere one day away from story shelves....

The real opposing team here is the better half of your relationship.

stories of shelves in stores.

I saw Sue Bird early this season at a season-ticket holder event, and asked her if, having had her beak broken in each of the last two seasons, was she going to wear that plastic mask this season, in case. She gave me the Evil Eye in return, and knocked on the nearest wood-like thing nearby.

Poor Sue. I know playing in that mask prolly sucks bawls, but watching you crumple to the floor, bleeding all over the court, sucks worse. Please wear a mask from now on.

Talking as a huge Storm fan here... I'm kinda hoping that Sue will finally follow the lead of her friend and fellow UConn alum Rip Hamilton and make the mask a fixture.

Of course, that's easier said. Rip's not a point guard like Sue is. And I'm sure if I had to wear one, I'd curse it to no end.

News is breaking that Sue did NOT break the beak for a third time.


Yay! Sports on the Slog! Except for golf, which is not a sport.

Damn, Bradley. Hit the ball TOWARDS the fairway and TOWARDS the green. They're both rather tough to miss! When in doubt, go light with the irons and dink and dunk your way to the green. Don't try to putt it in on long putts, but focus on getting it CLOSER. Such an approach should get you in the 80-90s in no time.

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