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Monday, August 21, 2006

K.Fed at the Teen Choice Awards!

Posted by on August 21 at 9:38 AM

It was a night that would live in infamy. Kevin Federline made his television debut last night at the Teen Choice Awards. (Teens? Your stock just went WAY DOWN.) The entire evening his performance was being pumped up by announcers who were apologizing in advance, and when the big moment finally came, he was introduced by his very pregnant wife Britney Spears—whose subtext was “PLEASE DON’T BOO HIM.” (Her fun bags looked incredible, BTW.) Anyway! Here’s the performance!

TALK ABOUT UNDERWHELMING. I guess I really should've expected it to be bad, but the way it was being pumped up all evening, I thought, "Well, maybe he's got something to show us." As it turned out, the entire performance was all about TAKING ATTENTION AWAY FROM KEVIN FEDERLINE. From the DJ screaming everything except "HEY! HEY! Don't look over there... LOOK OVER HERE!!" To the superfluous and over-the-top dancers, K.Fed couldn't have been less noticeable if he had fell in a vat of mayonnaise. (And isn't he supposed to be a choreographer? How about a little dancing, wigga?) Did I mention Britney's fun bags looked INCREDIBLE?

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Britney looked like she was about to hit the road in a bus & truck of Hairspray as Tracy Turnblad. But at least she projected something approximating charisma. Damn, K-Fed was dull. And after being subjected to two hours of the bottomless banality of Jessica Simpson, it's hard to bore an audience more. The only hint of excitement was when he almost fumbled the microphone as he got up from the piano bench.

Judging from the show last night, it's safe to say today's teens prefer to be spoonfed, lypsynched pop from less than talented performers.

Not one live performance?

That gorgeous piano is weeping with shame. What a fantastic performance!

I'd take Vanilla Ice over that.

i love her better stoned.
this is the best video ever.

It sounded a lot like Vanilla Ice - without the talent!

BTW - "fun bags"?? What a horrid name for boobs.

<a href=>erosive esophagitis</a> all about

WOW! That was Po-Po-Thetic!

A blue light special from

Oops, I mean K-dread.....

I'd rather listen to cats having sex...

Would someone call the
Po-Po-police and have this budget wanna be Crapper
Po-po-put out of his misery....

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