Trash K.Fed at the Teen Choice Awards!
It was a night that would live in infamy. Kevin Federline made his television debut last night at the Teen Choice Awards. (Teens? Your stock just went WAY DOWN.) The entire evening his performance was being pumped up by announcers who were apologizing in advance, and when the big moment finally came, he was introduced by his very pregnant wife Britney Spears—whose subtext was “PLEASE DON’T BOO HIM.” (Her fun bags looked incredible, BTW.) Anyway! Here’s the performance!
TALK ABOUT UNDERWHELMING. I guess I really should've expected it to be bad, but the way it was being pumped up all evening, I thought, "Well, maybe he's got something to show us." As it turned out, the entire performance was all about TAKING ATTENTION AWAY FROM KEVIN FEDERLINE. From the DJ screaming everything except "HEY! HEY! Don't look over there... LOOK OVER HERE!!" To the superfluous and over-the-top dancers, K.Fed couldn't have been less noticeable if he had fell in a vat of mayonnaise. (And isn't he supposed to be a choreographer? How about a little dancing, wigga?) Did I mention Britney's fun bags looked INCREDIBLE?
Britney looked like she was about to hit the road in a bus & truck of Hairspray as Tracy Turnblad. But at least she projected something approximating charisma. Damn, K-Fed was dull. And after being subjected to two hours of the bottomless banality of Jessica Simpson, it's hard to bore an audience more. The only hint of excitement was when he almost fumbled the microphone as he got up from the piano bench.