Vladimir Putin clears up last week’s spontaneous kiddie-stomach-kissing by explaining, “I wanted to stroke [that little boy] like a cat…there was nothing behind it.”

Which might be the most sensual, convincing reason for kissing bellies that I’ve ever heard. And there are certainly worse things in this world than raspberries bestowed by the president of Russia. Say, for instance, getting your chest carved up by a freak with a stolen power saw:

Via Breitbart:

New York—A man grabbed two cordless power saws off a subway station workbench and went on a rampage Thursday, swinging the saws at riders and slicing open a man’s chest before running away, police said.

The 64-year-old victim, whose name was not released, was hospitalized in critical but stable condition. Police were searching for the suspect, described by witnesses as a thin man in his 30s, who had earrings in both ears and was possibly carrying a teddy bear.

Given the choice, I’m sure most people would opt to be “stroked like a cat” by a stranger rather than “carved like a turkey”. Here’s hoping the victim is doing as well as can be expected post power saw to the chest.