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Monday, July 10, 2006

Arts What a Nation Craves

Posted by DAVID SCHMADER on July 10 at 0:07 AM

In times of strife, every nation needs its narcotic entertainments. During the Great Depression, Americans were uplifted by the gorgeous order of Busby Berkley; during the Cold War, we warmed ourselves in the arms of ALF. And now, during the ongoing Iraq War/Operation Iraqi Freedom/Axis of Evil intervention/imperialist takeover of the beige and vulnerable, America’s narcotic entertainment of choice is clearly pirates.

This weekend, America took its pirate fetish to the bank, giving Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest the most profitable opening weekend in cinema history. According to studio estimates procured by the Associated Press, Dead Man’s Chest, the sequel to the blockbuster based on a weird old ride at Disneyland, raked in a record $132 million in its first three days, trouncing the previous title holder (2002’s Spider-Man, whose opening weekend took in $114.8 million), and earning nearly double the total of the rest of the weekend’s top 12 films combined.

What does this say about our nation’s soul? I dunno, but we have the next few years to figure it out, as the third installment of the Pirates series is due in theaters over Memorial Day weekend next year.

In the meantime, the makers of Pirates 3 have issued a casting call for “extreme character types,” including little people, albinos, and “exotic amputees.” (Thanks to Defamer.)

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1

Maybe in 200 years we'll have Talk Like a Terrorist day.

Posted by gfish | July 10, 2006 1:58 AM

2

The nation's soul craves more Star Wars, and they have found it.

It's uncanny that somehow Jerry Bruckheimer independently had all the same plot and character ideas as George Lucas.

In the next movie I think we will see Johnny Depp rescued from Jabba the Hutt and Keira Knightley will turn out to be Orlando Bloom's sister.

Posted by elenchos | July 10, 2006 8:16 AM

3

I think it's less about the movie and more about the ride, which is underground, moist, air-conditioned and smells good. Who wouldn't want to associate with those sensations in the middle of summer?

Posted by Explorer | July 10, 2006 9:59 AM

4

I do LOVE that ride.

Posted by Amy Kate | July 10, 2006 11:01 AM

5

Pirates has always been one of my fave rides.

Plus they have good beignets and coffee in the connected outdoor restaurant. And it's shady.

Posted by Will in Seattle | July 10, 2006 11:21 AM

6

Good beignets at Disneyland? Holy crap!

Posted by keshmeshi | July 10, 2006 12:49 PM

7

It must be a sign that I'm watching too much HBO... am I the only person who's disappointed that Pirates of the Caribbean beat Aquaman at the box office?

Posted by giantladysquirrels | July 10, 2006 1:15 PM

8

yes, GLS, you're the only one. and they do have good beignets there - I didn't say fantastic, but they're a welcome respite from the usual carp at disney restaurants.

Posted by Will in Seattle | July 10, 2006 1:54 PM

9

The Pirates restaurant is good for Cajun dinners, too. The fake starry sky, lanterns, and piped-in cricket sounds make it very charming, almost romantic. Like an idealized bayou, no bugs.

Posted by Amy Kate | July 10, 2006 3:36 PM

10

Single screen theaters have been steadily replaced by multiplexes for the last 10-15 years as we all know. But not only does that trend continue, but multiplex managers are learning to better accomodating the blockbusters - running simutaniously on more screens that ever before. These records will continue to fall, and become less relevant. It's like the old "the season was shorter when Babe Ruth played" adage, but more true had his season only been 2 months long.

Whatever, I still wanna see that Pirate flick.

Posted by Dougsf | July 10, 2006 5:13 PM

11

Good God, that was tedious.

Still, if they'd been brave enough to edit out about thirty-minutes of video gamish crap, there *might* be a decent movie in it.

Posted by Napoleon XIII | July 10, 2006 8:33 PM

12

I hear it's rated "arrrr." Fart!

Posted by Mike | July 10, 2006 9:50 PM

13

Just a warning - Pirates 2 is only half a movie and ends on a cliffhanger. It's a lot like other trilogies that were filmed back to back.

And like the first movie, there's is a very brief, but humourous scene after the extremely long credits.

Posted by Aexia | July 11, 2006 7:49 AM

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