Are there any Seattle metro-area soccer hooligans having a World Cup House Party tomorrow morning? You should invite partycrasher@thestranger.com, if only because I’ve never cracked a beer before noon.

Or, alternately, if you hate fun, today’s the big day for The Pioneer Square Fire Festival. You’d better hurry on down, though…you’ve already missed the two-hour marching band extravaganza and the saxophone-led rendition of “The Girl From Ipanema.” God help us all.

UPDATE: My coworker just came back from his lunch break wearing a child-size Bellevue Fire Department Fire Fighter’s Hat. Looks like there’s fun to be had in Pioneer Square, after all…if you broadly readjust your definition of ‘fun.’