Trash O, They Will Know We Are Christians By Our Whining, Bitching, Moaning, and Anal Fissures
So the Christians had a big concert at the Gorge Amphitheater this weekend—good for them, I hope they enjoyed themselves. The PI has a full report.
I also hope—wait, I know—that a number of abstinence pledges were broken this weekend. I doubt that there were condoms available on-site, so here’s hoping that local Christian kids did what Christian kids all over the country are doing: Opt for anal over vaginal intercourse. (A New Sermon on the Mount: “Whenever two or more are gathered in My name, someone is getting it in the ass.ā€¯)
But here’s what concerns me: Why is the PI pandering to the persecution complex that plagues modern American Christians? On the front page of the PI I found this headline:
Hip, Fun and Faithful: Christians find solice, unity at Creation Festival
The implication? Local Christians can’t find solace anyplace else—not in any of the thousands of tax-exempt churches, mega- and otherwise, that squat all over the landscape; not from a mainstream media that coddles them at every turn; not from a federal government that’s crawling with their co-religionists.
Oh, it’s a hard knock life for Christians in America, ain’t it? We’ve got a fundamentalist idiot for a president, the halls of Congress are packed with born again ‘tards, fully 80% of Americans identify themselves as Christian, and the Pope can’t fart without the TV news people reverently huffing away at his ass. None of that is any solace—nope! That’s why the poor, persecuted darlings need to gather en masse at the Gorge. Back to the PI’s headline shop:
Creation: Festivalgoers feel `not so alone in believing.’
Oh, for crying out loud.
UPDATE: Ironically, when I was finishing up this post a PI reporter called me for a comment on something unrelated. When I told the reporter what I was writing—about Christians’ persecution complex—the reporter said, “Yes, they like to think of themselves as the underdogs.ā€¯ They do like to see themselves that way—but does the PI really need to encourage them to see themselves that way?
they definitely wouldn't have found solice at the Block Party, thank god! It was nice they all got together on the other side of the state and let us hang without them. Though ya gotta give it up for the young christian girls taking it in the ass, that's a great trend, hope it catches on, wish I was in highschool again.