Slog - The Stranger's Blog

Line Out

The Music Blog

« Woof. | We're to Blame »

Monday, July 31, 2006

O, They Will Know We Are Christians By Our Whining, Bitching, Moaning, and Anal Fissures

Posted by on July 31 at 15:31 PM

So the Christians had a big concert at the Gorge Amphitheater this weekend—good for them, I hope they enjoyed themselves. The PI has a full report.

I also hope—wait, I know—that a number of abstinence pledges were broken this weekend. I doubt that there were condoms available on-site, so here’s hoping that local Christian kids did what Christian kids all over the country are doing: Opt for anal over vaginal intercourse. (A New Sermon on the Mount: “Whenever two or more are gathered in My name, someone is getting it in the ass.ā€¯)

But here’s what concerns me: Why is the PI pandering to the persecution complex that plagues modern American Christians? On the front page of the PI I found this headline:

Hip, Fun and Faithful: Christians find solice, unity at Creation Festival

The implication? Local Christians can’t find solace anyplace else—not in any of the thousands of tax-exempt churches, mega- and otherwise, that squat all over the landscape; not from a mainstream media that coddles them at every turn; not from a federal government that’s crawling with their co-religionists.

Oh, it’s a hard knock life for Christians in America, ain’t it? We’ve got a fundamentalist idiot for a president, the halls of Congress are packed with born again ‘tards, fully 80% of Americans identify themselves as Christian, and the Pope can’t fart without the TV news people reverently huffing away at his ass. None of that is any solace—nope! That’s why the poor, persecuted darlings need to gather en masse at the Gorge. Back to the PI’s headline shop:

Creation: Festivalgoers feel `not so alone in believing.’

Oh, for crying out loud.

UPDATE: Ironically, when I was finishing up this post a PI reporter called me for a comment on something unrelated. When I told the reporter what I was writing—about Christians’ persecution complex—the reporter said, “Yes, they like to think of themselves as the underdogs.ā€¯ They do like to see themselves that way—but does the PI really need to encourage them to see themselves that way?


CommentsRSS icon

they definitely wouldn't have found solice at the Block Party, thank god! It was nice they all got together on the other side of the state and let us hang without them. Though ya gotta give it up for the young christian girls taking it in the ass, that's a great trend, hope it catches on, wish I was in highschool again.

Dan, don't you get it? Christians aren't free!! As long as there is even a single non-believer in this country, or if someone is acting against "God's" wishes, than no Christer anywhere is truly free. Unlike normal human beings the Christian definition of freedom means a lack of it for those who disagree. (Side note about the PI article: The second page of the feature has a pic of 2 pieces of bible bait teen ass walking past a bus emblazened w/ "JESUS LOVES YOU" on the side. These "pure" little ladies are wearing short shorts and bikini tops, the latter of which is against the festival dress code as the article informs us.)

Dan, While I'm not a practicing Catholic, your post is just Pathetic.

Seriously, what were you thinking when you wrote this?

Gay marriage is banned, therefore, I'll get back at those religious fuckers by writing an infantile, hostile tirade?

Aren't you the one who has been lauding himslef as the Uber stable, Dad of the century?

This temper tantrum kinda shows your true colors.


The P-I's website also has bascially an ad for the festival when you click on "Hip, fun and faithful" (which is an ad in and of itself.) A video starts up with photos from the festival.

Settle down Paul. Dan's hissy fit was spot on. Religious and non rational people rule the world. They are not persecuted and are not out of the mainstream. The article made it seem like they needed their concert so they could feel accepted by society, when in fact they control society.

They act like victims, when they have all the power. Is not like we atheist are going around door to door trying to convert these insane literalists.

I hope the petition for reconsideration soon to come in the gay marriage case will mention that the procreation rationale doesn't hold water, now that all the hets are practicing anal sex.

The whole modus operandi of the conservative movement is to make contemporary Americans, the weathiest, most spoiled people in the planet's history, feel afraid and persecuted. That's how you pull folks into the drama. The reason I can't stand right-wing talk radio isn't because I hate some of hte ideas the propose, I can deal with that. Why I cringe when I put it on is the tone of voice. Whine, whine, whine. It's all woe is me a persecution. It's no fun at all.

Then again, as John Dean pointed out in his newest book, studies have shown that kids who whine and complain the most are the most likely to grow up to be conservatives!

When the Sonics leave, maybe we can turn Key Arena into a new Colliseum and use it for Christians vs. Lions shows. (Some gladiators would nice too.)
One could invite a christian rock group as the opener, let them sing a number, and then release the lions on them. THAT would be satisfying on so many levels.

remember, so long as it's not missionary, it's not "sex". and if it is, then you get married (IRL, of course, it's a run for the border ...)

oh, and Kinaidos, that's cruelty to animals. for all you know, they might prefer gazelles.

Americans in general love to be victims. They are always perceiving "rudeness" where it isn't, and a fed a steady diet of victimization on the evening news.

Megachurchers realize that, and promote an "us against them" attitude. Plus, they have simple-to-digest theologies that don't require much work from the faithful other than apparently just closing your eyes and swaying to crappy music with your hands in the air. Bonus points for tears.

They have, in short, made Christianity safe for the dumb shits. And the dumb shits make up the vast majority of the population.

Kinaidos, some luchadores would be much more colorful! Gladiators are so last millenium.

Wipe your shit on the Torah and look at piss christ, all religion is stupid. Jew and Christians all claim to be persecuted. Burn all the Torahs and outlaw Christian rock concerts and there'll be no more wars.

If we could get some Christian boys to fuck Jewish chicks up the ass while attending a Klezmer Hip-Hop concert maybe there would be peace in this world. Religious idiots both Jewish and Christian are always whining about how persecuted they are.

Religion is Stupid - do you actually have anything interesting or useful to add to any conversation? Your repetitive anti-religion-baiting is neither useful nor insightful, and is ultimately quite boring.

I'm with you, Ivan. I prefer my trolls a bit more creative.

Laugh it up.

If R. is S. were muttering this mantra on a bus day in and day out, I think we might diagnose him somewhere on the autistic spectrum.

Does the same apply for written repetition? I'm serious. I don't think I've seen more than a couple words' variance in many, many posts. It's a little fascinating and sad.

Now I'm convinced that Paul is just a troll.

Dan is pointing out the victim mentality of the Christian right, that they see themselves as persecuted and alone, when in reality they dominate this country. Even in Seattle you see giant churches everywhere.

If you think about it, it's actually the atheists and agnostics in the world who have to keep their beliefs closeted, their identities a secret, lest their Christian-dominated peers find out that non-believers are among them.

Honestly, though, they're deluded.

Exactly, Gomez. Exactly. The reason they feel set upon is because their religion -- especially the more fundie branches that say the word of clueless old men in the bible is worth more than objectively and exhaustively verifiable scientific evidence -- is DELUDED. Every time they meet someone who is not subject to that delusion, they know they are looked down at as a nutjob. They need to congregate not only to keep their religious delusions alive, but to persuade themselves that their own sense of self is valid.

I'm kind of surprised there's been no comment on the revelation in the PI that our local "Muslim-American" shooter was actually a recent convert to Christianity.

I love the pic of the "2 pieces of bible bait teen ass". The flames painted on the bus make it look like the girl is farting.

I know, real mature. But funny as shit...

If the Christians feel persecuted even though they're 80% of the population and control all of the Federal gov't and the majority of the state governments it's obvious that they're having a crisis of faith brought on by...well...FUCKING REALITY.

Jesus H. Christ, indeed. These people are in worse denial than a typical alcoholic.

Denial - Why are you promoting false Egyptian gods and their rivers in a Christian thread?

And remember, gay baby jesus got married to his childhood sweetheart to have kids.

I do believe it's a rule of Christendom that you aren't fully Christian unless you're persecuted for it. So find someone who doesn't like you and says so publicly, and zoom in on it: See! They persecute us for living in His name! It fulfills one of the prophecies of Jesus Christ.

It's a damned fine gimmick, too: opposing Christianity, or any given sect of it, will only empower them, because the Bible foretold of their persecution.

Someone famous said that religions are cults with political power. Wish I remembered who. It's the most concise statement I've seen of my thoughts on religion.

A tad harsh- don`t you think.....

I`ve gone to the Gorge, done the whole Creation fest, wore my bikini top (the dress code is a joke), and listened to some good music. I don`t see how that makes me a bad person.

I`m liberal, pro gay marriage, pro-choice, and try eveything in my power to make people understand that all Christians are not conservative wack-jobs. Some of us understand the real issues at hand. We also understand that some of us are called to religion, and some of us are not.

Christians are NOT being persecuted, contrary to what they believe. Sadly - they see anything that goes against their moral code as being persecution. I would hate to see what they would have to do to survive in a truly hostile situation.

I would hate to see what they would have to do to survive in a truly hostile situation.

That's funny, because I would pay to see that.

David,

It's exactly that type of response why you keep losing elections and losing on Issues such as gay marriage.

Who can possibly feel sorry for your cause with remarks like that?

"Who can possibly feel sorry for your cause with remarks like that?"

Please don't "feel sorry" for the cause (say, for example, gay marriage). Rather, feel your own bigotry and then support the cause.

Audrey,

That's Bullshit.

I'm not bigoted at all; In fact I support gay marriage, dedicate time (and money) to Lifelong Aids as well as bring pet food to low Income Aids patients in the area.

What do you do to help anyone beside yourself?

As a Catholic, I'm sick and tired of listening to assholes, such as you, criticize a religion and society that I am proud to have been raised and one that I am proud to be raising my kids.

At least there are fundamental life lessons that are being passed from one generation to the next.

I am not talking about the freaks that literally translate the Bible, preach about birth control, abortion being evil or the whack jobs that come and protest victims such as Mathew Shepard, etc.

However, comparing all Catholics to those people is directly akin to saying all gay people are pedophiles, or drag queens or whatever homophobic (and Ignorant) example you want to give.

I am talking about the majority of Americans that are raised catholic, go to catholic school, attend services and are a members of their community.

Are there problems with the church? Absolutely, Just as there are problems with every organization out there.

Does that take away from the huge amounts of Charity and good that the church does for so many people?

Apparently so if yo read the crap that is published here.

So yes, this pisses me off.

Christians are the cause of all the worlds problems. Christians claim to be persecuted, so do Jews. I'm so sick of religious people claiming people hate them because of their religion. Shit on the Torah and show little children pissing in the faces of monks.

Paul, I know the distinction between the Catholic Church and the fundies/megachurches - and you'd better believe they do.

Fundies, Southern Baptists, and most megachurches regard the Catholic church as not a "true" Christian church.

I was raised a Catholic, and went to public school. My dad was on the library board, and we periodically received creepy anonymous phone calls and letters about how the "papists" (or "mackeral snappers", which we always thought was hillarious) were out to take over the library and indoctrinate the youth. (Hell, it was hard enough getting anyone to even VISIT the library in our small town, let alone indoctrinate anyone)

While I am no longer in any religion, I am incredibly troubled by the growing "Whacky Catholic" movement (as my still very Catholic sister calls it) that is climbing into bed with these protestant reactionaries, and is every bit as intolerant as they are - and just as "victimized" and their protestant bretheren.

Should they get their way - a "return to traditional values" or whatever shit they preach - you'd better believe you are next on their list.

Paul - i can't believe i'm actually responding to you, since you strangely and crazily attributed everyone's sentiment to me only and directly, but nevertheless i will respond: i agree - some Christians are lovely people. I never said all Christians were jerks. I was only replying to you saying that David's remark garners no pity for the gay marriage cause. To say that gay marriage advocates want or need pity is pretty lame, don't you think? I don't think you meant it, but you did type it. Not that I expect you to give a fair and coherent response now to this, because, frankly, after reading your posts day after day, i think you are an idiot. sorry.

Audrey...

Considering the gay marriage issue is being slapped down in every state it has appeared, with the exception of Massachusetts, I'd say pitty was as good a place to start as any.

It also appears that this is an issue that will not be helped by hate filled, ignorant statements directly at the Catholic faith.

As to my being an idiot, I read your posts and think the same about you

Paul - get a grip, buddy. The only people who have mentioned Catholicism at all are you (Paul in Seattle) and Me (Catalina Vel-DuRay) - and when I mentioned it, it was to draw a distinction between fundies and catholics, but to also warn of the dangers to Catholics that get too cozy to them.

atalina...

Why don't you explain to me the difference between being a Catholic and being Christian?

That is what the post is based on...

Can you be one without being the other?

Christians are the cause of all the world's problems. Though Christians claim to be oppressed, it is the Jews that have suffered more than any other people in history. Remember the Holocaust, and always speak out against the Christians. We must always remind people that the only oppressed people are the Jews.

Christians are the cause of all the world's problems. Though Christians claim to be oppressed, it is the Jews that have suffered more than any other people in history. Remember the Holocaust, and always speak out against the Christians. We must always remind people that the only oppressed people are the Jews.

Shoshona...

Quick quiz... How many Christians were killed during the Holocaust?

Paul, AS I STATED BEFORE (do try to focus, dear) Many fundamentalists, Megachurchers, and Baptists do not consider Catholics to be Christian, and I am concerned about the more conservative elements of the Catholic church joining forces with the fundies. It is similar to the Jews that join forces with the Fundie Christians who are Pro-Israel only because it's the route to bringing on the "end times" Please READ what I write before you decide to challenge what I write.

And really - you are proving the whole victimized Christian thing by your reactions and behavior on this post. You are borderline paranoid. No one is going to stop you from being a good Catholic. My entire family are very good Catholics (I am the black sheep, as it were) and they don't consider themselves victims. They don't think anyone is trying to oppress Christians - in fact, they realize that this is an overwhelmingly Christian country, and that it is the other religions that are discriminated against.

Have faith in your faith, Paul.

Catalina...

I think you need to go back and read my posts. At no point have I cried victim nor am I being paranoid.

If anything, I'm standing up against someone bad mouthing my people and my religion. This is no different than a jew responding to an anti-semitic rant, affrican american standing up against racism or a homosexual standing up against a homophic remark.

On that note, you may wanna go back and do your homework on defining Catholicism and how it is different than being Christian. Apparently, you left a religion of which you had had no understanding . I'll give you the crib notes on the one... You cannot be one without the other.

I do have faith in my faith. I also have faith in myself and stand up when people speak hate.

OK, I give up Paul. You're a paranoid goofball who is about as Catholic as I am - you're just a "sports team" Catholic. Your insecurity in your faith makes you impossible to deal with, let alone have a discussion with.

AND you are incapable of reading and comprehension if you can't understand what I am saying about how SOME SECTS OF CHRISTIANITY (Not me, dear) do not consider Catholics to be Christians. (Thank God I went to Public school)

But here's some hope for you: I was a defensive, paranoid, closeted Catholic boy right before I realized it was all a farce, and I was wasting my life defending a choice that, when you get right down to it, is as silly as choosing one brand of dish soap over another. It's all marketing, baby.

Once you figure that out (along with all your other issues) stop back, and maybe we can have a rational conversation.

Catalina,

let me be clear......Fuck you!

No, I want you to really Listen to what I'm saying, don't write back, let the message digest before you respond.

FFFFFUUUUUUCCCCKKKKKK YYYYYOOOOOUUUUUU!!!!

Now, lets address the issue at hand: Dans post. Is it based on what other sects of Christianity view Catholics? No. You are the only who has brought that up.

Dan's Post points out how ALL Christians have blah, blah, blah. Catholicism is included in the mass grouping.

Paul, thank you for that example of your deep and abiding Christian Faith. It's good to know you emulate Christ in your everyday life, and that your Catholic values show through in your every action.

But not to worry: According to Fr. Bob Levis, who answers questions about matters of sin for EWTN (The Catholic cable channel) cursing itself is "sometimes venial sin, but usually just vulgar and not to be expected from a cultured person." But then again, neither is paranoia.

(You might want to say an act of contrition, just to be on the safe side.)


Observant Jews are slaughtering Lebanese women and children because god tells them it's ok. Christians won't let gays marry. Religion is all a farce. But "religious people" are doing all the world's killing and oppression. RELIGION SUCKS - EVERY RELIGION.

Jews are not causing this war. When the terrorists are dead, the Jewish people will be the first ones creating peace. The Jewish religion is peaceful, but sometimes violence is necessary to bring peace. Christianity is the only violent religion.

There is a God and you have sinned against Him. Repent of your sins and put your trust in Jesus Christ to save you. Read the gospel of John and do what it says. Your eternal destiny depends upon it.

Comments Closed

In order to combat spam, we are no longer accepting comments on this post (or any post more than 45 days old).