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Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Nude & Pregnant Britney: Tres Bazaar!

Posted by on June 28 at 11:43 AM

A newly dyed Britney Spears strips down to her pregnant belly to grace the cover and inside pages of August’s Harper’s Bazaar. Check out this picture and more after the leap!


Here she's thinking, "How did I make such a mess out of my career? Ohhhh, yeah... FEDERLINE."

Shots like this make me miss the Catholic school girls uniform.

"They're creepy and they're ooky/ mysterious and spooky..."

Ummm... you wear a hair net on TOP of your head, Britney.

"OOH, I'm not being SEXY... I'm just celebrating the pregnant human form! Oooooooh...."

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Similar shots did wonders for Demi Moore's career.

I saw these pictures on another site and thought they were a Photoshop prank...

Personally, I enjoy the ‘Nothing to Wear?’ caption on the cover.

Looks like her handlers finally figured out a way to deal with Brit's awful fashion sense and rescue her career all at once!

Seriously, though, she looks better than she has in a long time.

She doesn't actually look like that. That's what we call "airbrushing".

Isn't her 15 minutes OVER yet? I mean, does she actually still have a career, or does it all consist of publicity stunts?

...did she EVER actually have a career in the first place, other than a totally manufactured image of someone essentially lip-syncing songs written by someone else with the music performed by anonymous musicians, a production in which she has no part, etc...I can't abide plasticine people like her being classed with actual musicians.

Sorry, Geni -- Brit's pop singles are red hot smokin' masterpieces of the highest order. Frankly I don't give a shit WHO played on 'em; I'm not writing a business study, I'm listening to great pop music.

Plus, watching her train wreck of a career since then has been the most fun you can have with your clothes on. Or off, in her case.

Um, noone cares about Brit. But if you could get Nellie Furtado on the cover ...

oh, Geni, she did some dancing too! um, and you know you could insert any pop vocalist or crooner, say 'Rosemary Clooney', 'Dean Martin,' 'Diana Ross' etc., into that above comparison...(ahem)...Tin Pan alley is STILL a huge avenue. but I understand you're saying...or calling, BS that is, but show biz has been around a LONG time and it's hardly about the 'art,' its of course $$$ the 'artist' can generate. we'll have another generation of pop performers/idiots come 'round as soon as those we have now have cash in or cash out, naked and preggo on the cover of a pop mag or not. think about how huge (and benign), Anne Murry was in the '70s, but who knows her now? no one cares...even if she had gotten knocked up by a jackass and posed nude for McCalls.

I try to ignore the pop scene, tho' I have to say Britta has made such a HUGE mess it's hard to ignore...really, she must be a serious cash cow for the industry to keep stretching out her shelf life.

Good God! She's been airbrushed to within an inch of her life. I've rarely seen such ham-fisted Photoshopping in a long time.

Dean Martin was a brilliant stylist without whom there could have been no Elvis Presley. Rosemary Clooney was pretty swingin' too.

I'm queasily reminded of the "Britney giving birth" statue...

...which is here, in bastardized form...

sit down FNARF, you're missing the point. Pop stars, no matter who they are, hardly ever write their own material, and even if they CAN, producers often rewrite/rearrange songs to make them more commercial, while label bosses reserve the ultimate (veto) power to make any other final choices (it's their $$). Of course a pop star's voice may shape a particular song (doesn't Britta have a version of the Who's My Generation!? [gulp]), but again it's a producer's job, to find the right song for the voice! Pop does not happen in a vacuum as an individuals expression, the performers are the faces and voices...well, sometimes not even the voices. So swingin' or not, pop stars are only entertainers...even the stylin' ones. Even Beatles who are regarded as GIANTS as they essentially gave the art (they wrote and performed their own songs, right) back to the artist would not be the Beatles as we know it if not for producer George Martin, engineer Geoff Emerick, and manager Brian Epstein. period.

and the Elvis point is thin, tho' we kow he was an admitted wannabe Dean Martin, Elvis did NOT happen because of ONE crooner. In the beginning he, Bill, Scotty, and Sam Phillips spent a LOT of time, longer than legend has it (messing around between if) inventing 'rockabilly'. Really, w/o his Sun 'hillbilly' music Elvis would never have been taken seriously as a musician (he played a little guitar and piano), much less as a crooner (he'd get into that on RCA). And in the end, even as he precipitated a huge cultural/pop shift, his name is easily exchangable as a 'Britta' pop icon that was made/invented to be sold. Consider how, after he left Sun, he was turned out by RCA & the Colonel. Elvis never wrote his songs or his movies, just like most all pop his credit, in the beginning, he picked tracks he wanted to sing and produced the recording sessions, but after he was out of the army his interest waned.

I'll admit it, I'm a godawful snob about pop music, period. There's damned little pop - of any era - that I can abide, and I always have less respect for the "entertainer" who simply performs someone else's words to music performed by anonymous musicians. I'll always have respect even for a singer/songwriter whose material I dislike, simply because they're performing their own compositions. And every single band/artist that I truly admire is performing their own material.

I'm a huge Motown fan, but still think Berry Gordy is going to hell for never crediting the Funk Brothers for creating the whole damn Motown sound. I forget which person said it on the Standing In the Shadows of Motown movie, but they're right - Deputy Dawg could have had a hit performing those songs with those musicians creating the sound. That's not taking anything away from the talented vocalists who performed the Motown hits, but none of those cuts would have been worth shit without the Funk Brothers.

For all those comments like "Catholic school girls" or whatever...
The need for these, the career impacts or else being irrelevent and not my expertise.
But there is little more beautiful than human body I can think of. And there is nothing more beautiful than a pregnant woman. Period.
For those who say nude human body is immoral. I think war is immoral, murder is immoral, robbery, violence, corruption... These things are immoral. Human body is beautiful.

No arguing. Just facts.

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