Yesterday I slogged about the bi-monthly Salon of Shame, where brave people recite vintage journal entries, love letters, poetry, and weighty works of fiction in front of an appreciative audience. Today I am pleased to report what a hoot the event was. Everyone’s readings were both hilarious and touching. Among last night delights were samples of teenage Goth poetry, journal entries about losing one’s virginity to a born-again Christian (and subsequently being dumped a born-again Christian), and a transcribed telephone conversation between an innocent 14-year-old girl trying to counsel an unknown teenage boy (?) over why his penis kept leaking. Innocent musings from innocent minds, and a packed audience with the good sense to laugh at all the right moments. The only downside was the lack of men willing to share their shame with the crowd (one brave dude to 10 shameless chicks).

The next Salon of Shame will be held July 12. Email Ariel Meadow Stallings at shame@electrolicious.com if you want to sign up. Ariel also cleverly captured part of my reading on her cell phone (I read from a romance novel written when I was 13). You can view it here.

And now, for those of you who couldn’t make it last night, here is a sex scene from my aborted romance novel, The Flames of Passion. Enjoy. [Note: Miranda, the heroine, can communicate with animals, Mentally. This is a key plot point.]

“I think we would both be more comfortable if we took our clothes off,” Captain Jack said romantically. “By the fire,” he added.

Miranda was unsure. Could she trust this man with her heart?
“Do it,” someone said to her. Miranda gasped. It was Sparky, Jack’s faithful dalmation.
“Do it! Take your clothes off!” the dalmation urged. “Don’t worry, he loves you dearly. I won’t look.” And with that, the dalmation trotted outside.
“Can I trust you?” Miranda asked.
“You can trust me,” Captain Jack replied.
Miranda took her top off. Her long hair covered her body like a suit.
“God, you are just so beautiful!” screamed Jack.
He tackled her. She clawed at his clothing. Soon they were both naked. Tentatively, they began humping each other.
“I think… I’m falling in love with you!” cried Jack as he dissolved into ecstasy. Somewhere outside, a dog howled at the moon.

Update: Read The Flames of Passion in it’s entirety after the jump.

She was standing on a beach at sunset. As she gazed out at the waves, which looked to be inflamed by the rays of the disappearing sun, she sensed more than saw a man approaching her. She turned to her left and stared hard at the figure walking towards her in the surf. Miranda somehow knew this was the man of her dreams; he appeared to be very tall. Miranda felt the flames of desire consuming her. If only she could see his face...Suddenly, a cat appeared at her feet. It was Mr. Boots, her beloved pet!

"What are you doing here, Mr. Boots?” Miranda asked.
"You must get out now Miranda!” he said.
"I don't understand. You hate the ocean,” she said.
"You're dreaming, and meanwhile the house is on fire!” Mr. Boots screamed.
Suddenly Miranda realized that this was probably true. Danger followed her like a bad habit. Mr. Boots had often saved her life because she could speak with animals, mentally. Miranda glanced longingly at her vision in the surf. Maybe it wasn't her true love after all that was making her heat up. Just maybe she was being burned alive inside her house.
"C'mon!” cried Mr. Boots again!
Suddenly Miranda awoke. Mr. Boots was sitting on top of her, kneading her chest in a panic. Miranda could smell smoke.
"Damn,” she muttered.

"I told you so,” the cat yowled.
Miranda jumped out of bed. The floorboards were hot beneath her feet. As she approached the door, the heat intensified. Miranda worried about her various animal friends, whom she had rescued and nursed to health. Most of them lived on the first floor of her humble home! She probed her mind, searching for signs of them in her consciousness. Nothing!

"Miranda, come on! There is precious little time!” Mr. Boots warned hysterically.
"Save yourself,” she said, throwing Mr. Boots through the second story window. She must rescue her animal friends, or die trying!
Miranda threw open the door just as something large and alien lunged through it. She screamed and blacked out.

"Hey, are you okay?” said an unfamiliar voice.
"What?” said Miranda. "I feel so confused.”
"Follow the sound of my voice,” said the voice. "Please wake up.”
Miranda realized she was being cradled in a manly pair of arms, and that she was covered in smoke.
"Is... is my hair still there?” she asked. Miranda had never cut her hair before; it was long and flowing and beautiful.
"Your hair is okay,” said the voice. "You are okay. Open your eyes.”
She did. A handsome face stared down at her. There was some soot.
"My name is Captain Jack. I saved your life in there,” he said.
"Thank you. I suppose I am homeless now,” Miranda said. "I don't even have any clothes.”
"That's okay,” said Captain Jack. "I'm just glad you're safe.”
"And my little friends?” Miranda gasped. She probed her mind and saw that they were well.
"They're all well,” he said. "I saved them before I saved you.”
"Great!” she said. "You're very strong.”
"Thank you. I work out,” he said. "Do you think you can stand?”
"I think so,” she said. Captain Jack slid her down his fireman's body.
Suddenly Miranda felt him as a woman feels a man. They vibrated against each other. It felt awesome.
"You feel so awesome,” whispered Captain Jack.
Miranda threw her head back and she laughed, her long hair flowing like a hairy curtain over her delicious booty.
"Thank you,” she said.
They embraced tightly.
"I would love to cook you a romantic seafood dinner,” he said.
"Cool,” she replied. Miranda loved seafood dinners.
"I'll bring dessert,” she added. They both knew what dessert would be on the menu: her heaving womb...

[Sex Scene--not for the faint of heart]

"I think we would both be more comfortable if we took our clothes off,” Captain Jack said romantically. "By the fire,” he added.

Miranda was unsure. Could she trust this man with her heart?
"Do it,” someone said to her. Miranda gasped. It was Sparky, Jack's faithful dalmation.
"Do it! Take your clothes off!” the dalmation urged. "Don't worry, he loves you dearly. I won't look.” And with that, the dalmation trotted outside.
"Can I trust you?” Miranda asked.
"You can trust me,” Captain Jack replied.
Miranda took her top off. Her long hair covered her body like a suit.
"God, you are just so beautiful!” screamed Jack. He tackled her. She clawed at his clothing. Soon they were both naked. Tentatively, they began humping each other.
"I think... I'm falling in love with you!” cried Jack as he dissolved into ecstasy. Somewhere outside, a dog howled at the moon.