Arts If you’re not now, you never were.
Before I tell you what I’m about to tell you, I should make sure you know that I, Megan Seling, have never ingested a drop of alcohol in my life. Honest. Not a beer, not a shot, not a sip of wine in 25 (almost 26) years of existence. Drinking never interested me through my prepubescent years (Barbie didn’t drink, why should I?), and once I hit high school I learned about straight-edge and decided that drug free was the way for me. I don’t know why, but regardless of the reason (or lack of), it stuck.
Being a non-drinker is the way most people know me. Some people don’t understand it, some people (co-workers, mostly) make fun of me, and others offer money to watch me get drunk for the first time. If times get tough enough, I might take ‘em up on that. Anyways… I say all of this because, well, I don’t know why. But this weekend, during a small party at my sister’s house, I drank alcohol. Vodka, actually. Skyy Vodka in the pretty blue bottle. It was a complete accident.
I thought the salt from the small handful of potato chips I had just eaten maybe made my tastebuds go a little wacky, so after the first sip of my odd tasting soda, I decided drinking more was the only way to wash the salty taste down. So I kept gulping, slowly catching on that the peculiar taste wasn’t going away, but getting stronger. Then I looked at my brother in law, who was holding the same exact glass with the same innocent looking soda in it. He had just taken a sip and gotten a strange look on his face, wondering what was missing. “Uhh, Pete, is that my glass?” He got a surprised look and then a grin of realization fell over his face. “Uhh… I think it is…” he said. “Pete, did you put alcohol in yours?” The room fell silent for a moment and then exploded into a fit of laughter, as everyone realized that I, after years of refusing, finally drank. Goddammit. What would Ian MacKaye say?!