Arts If you’re not now, you never were.
Before I tell you what I’m about to tell you, I should make sure you know that I, Megan Seling, have never ingested a drop of alcohol in my life. Honest. Not a beer, not a shot, not a sip of wine in 25 (almost 26) years of existence. Drinking never interested me through my prepubescent years (Barbie didn’t drink, why should I?), and once I hit high school I learned about straight-edge and decided that drug free was the way for me. I don’t know why, but regardless of the reason (or lack of), it stuck.
Being a non-drinker is the way most people know me. Some people don’t understand it, some people (co-workers, mostly) make fun of me, and others offer money to watch me get drunk for the first time. If times get tough enough, I might take ‘em up on that. Anyways… I say all of this because, well, I don’t know why. But this weekend, during a small party at my sister’s house, I drank alcohol. Vodka, actually. Skyy Vodka in the pretty blue bottle. It was a complete accident.
I thought the salt from the small handful of potato chips I had just eaten maybe made my tastebuds go a little wacky, so after the first sip of my odd tasting soda, I decided drinking more was the only way to wash the salty taste down. So I kept gulping, slowly catching on that the peculiar taste wasn’t going away, but getting stronger. Then I looked at my brother in law, who was holding the same exact glass with the same innocent looking soda in it. He had just taken a sip and gotten a strange look on his face, wondering what was missing. “Uhh, Pete, is that my glass?” He got a surprised look and then a grin of realization fell over his face. “Uhh… I think it is…” he said. “Pete, did you put alcohol in yours?” The room fell silent for a moment and then exploded into a fit of laughter, as everyone realized that I, after years of refusing, finally drank. Goddammit. What would Ian MacKaye say?!
Ian would think it was hilarious, I swear--because it is. At least it was decent vodka, Megs--it could have been something horrible we call "well liquor."
However, this sounds like an incomplete story because you must have ingested at least one shot, so you must have been buzzed in some fashion. Do tell.